It is barely worth mentioning at this point when Gary Busey says something crazy. Would it be worth mentioning that the sun was shining or that rain was wet? And yet, actually, if you think about it, whether or not the sun is shining or the rain is wet makes up 90 PERCENT OF WHAT WE ALL TALK ABOUT EVERY DAY. So yes, you would. And I’m sorry, but when you are stuck in a sprawling traffic jam because there is an accident up ahead and everyone is rubbernecking the smoking pile-up, you can rant and rave all you want from a half mile away about the disgusting aspect of human nature and how if everyone would just respect the victims’ privacy and mind their own business and drive at a reduced but reasonable pace traffic jams like this wouldn’t even exist, but when it is your turn to you look I know for a fact that you look, you LIAR. You look a little bit. Everyone looks. You know how I know? BECAUSE THAT IS WHY THE TRAFFIC JAM IS THERE. What I’m saying is imagine there was a human car accident that stretched out along the road for miles and miles and years and years, blood and smoke billowing out of its twisted mouth, and you are a respectable person just trying to make it home before your order from Boston Market gets cold, so you do your best not to be looking constantly, but sometimes you do have to look, because we are all made of star stuff and apparently what the star stuff wants is to look. And that years long human traffic accident’s name? Gary Busey.

Nothing to see here, folks! Move along now and let us do our jobs.

Comments (31)
  1. I feel like this is a great opportunity to just rant about things that are annoying us. Can we do that? Because I am booking airplane tickets right now, so I HAVE THINGS TO SAY.

    • Like how if you want a seat with that ticket, that’s extra?

    • Ugh. I hate airlines! It’s like, “Hey, there’s this route that you need to travel 3-4 times a year and, lucky for us, we’re really the only airline that does that route! You’re going to be so happy to pay $350-$400 for each ticket! That’s the cheapest option! There are only 2 direct flight options! Also, since it’s a small route that not many of the frequent/club fliers use, that’s the one where the planes always have maintenance issues! Paying $400 for a delayed flight will seem normal to you! Try to use another airline? They only fly to the other airport in the area and they charge much more and it’s not a direct flight. You’re welcome!”

      • I’m still stuck on the searching, how different sites have vastly different flights and prices available, and sometimes they just CHANGE while you’re searching, and I’m pretty sure that they raise prices when people are searching to be dicks. And I have to call to schedule them because I have vouchers I can’t use online, but when I gave him exact flight numbers, it was like $90 more, so I have to save my search so he can pull that up, but it timed out waiting on hold for them to answer and of COURSE those flights ARE NOT EVEN LISTED AS OPTIONS ANYMORE.

        • And don’t EVEN get me started on the goddamn voice-navigated phone menus. Don’t EVEN.

          • I recently had to call to confirm/make reservations and the woman was beyond insane. She was talking in this weird baby voice and was talking to her husband or whoever about what to get at the grocery store and then she said all these weird things about how she wasn’t going to sit me next to my husband because she was a “naughty witch” and all this other stuff. It was so terrible and unprofessional.

        • That sounds like a serious nightmare. When I search for flights, I end up looking every day for months at a time because the prices change day to day. Typically (not always) the cheapest days are either Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday. Also clear your cookies as much as possible because sometimes travel sites won’t change the price for a flight you keep searching for even if the price drops. Yes, they’re all trying to rip you off. It’s a complete nightmare and such a rip off every time…if I had any other option… ugh.

          • I stopped even trying to use Orbitz, because every single time, every goddamn time, when I went to pay, it said the price changed while I was putting in all the traveler info. That can happen to a person maybe once or twice, but not three times in a row. I’m calling you on your bullshit, Orbitz!

      • I become more confident by the day that passenger planes, like the shuttle program, is pure hubris, and like the rebirth of reason, and with it, the new apollo-like programs, high speed rail will come to save the day.

        • What about going overseas? You might as well, since I looked for two trips on the same day, and tickets between Michigan and Texas were only about $100 less than tickets between Michigan and Helsinki. But you’re still screwed going overseas because sometimes a VOLCANO ERUPTS and as a result ALL AIR TRAFFIC IS SHUT DOWN, and you maybe wouldn’t have taken that trip if they had publicized the fact that SCIENTISTS KNEW FOR MONTHS THAT THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN.

          • If we’re going to run into volcanoes anyway then I would say supertrains that travel below the surface of the earth. But alas, this would undoubtedly cause more sinkholes and swallow more people’s really nice sounding brothers. You know what, I abdicate my throne as head retro-futurist.

          • I just realized that my “supertrains” comment could be construed as a sarcastic nod to subways, which, as saturnian pointed out below, can and will suck a lot if given the chance. I was not. I’m talking straight-up sub-mantle lava-tunnelers.

    • facetaco, ranting about annoying things is like my bread and butter and wheelhouse and all those other expressions rolled into one. I fear you have opened my own personal Pandora’s Box

      First, because this pisses me off every day, why do crowds in subway stations walk so goddamn slowly when going down the stairs to the platform? PEOPLE HAVE A TRAIN TO CATCH AND JOB TO BE ON TIME FOR! And then if you try to move through the crowd to catch the train some asshole is always like “chill out man, we are all going to the same place” which first off, barf, and secondly, can that same place be on the train that is now pulling away as everyone just moseys along like a herd of fucking cows? I don’t feel like being late to work because you are walking slowly, asshole.

      Next, if your friend is waiting in line with you to go to a concert your friend has been very excited for, MAYBE that isn’t the best time to tell your friend in detail about how much of an asshole he was whilst blackout drunk last weekend. MAYBE you could say the same thing after the concert, because he should hear it and apologize for sure, but MAYBE it wouldn’t make a difference in the long run and you wouldn’t have made your friend feel like shit for the whole concert that he has been really looking forward to for weeks.

      Lastly (I could keep going, but you are all tired of me by now), could the mom who I am Facebook friends with maybe not be casually racist towards Hispanic people and also stop posting insane neo-conservative political content 24/7? That shit is not changing anyone’s mind, and really just lowering my opinion of her into an impossibly deep abyss. I don’t de-friend her because of the potential drama and also because every once in a while she will post something that is so hilariously unintentionally a parody of herself that it almost makes it all worth it. But not quite.

      • wooooof that is a long post. TL;DR I get annoyed by stuff, and enjoy ranting about it.

      • Speaking of waiting in line for stuff, you know what IS fun? When your asshole friends are smoking so you go to buy your ticket already, and it’s in theater 2, and it’s one left, so you go up to them and show them your ticket and say “better hurry up, there are only 2 left,” because the ticket just says 2 Left, and they drop their cigarettes and ruuuun. It was a pretty rotten movie, though.

      • Whether she is your mom or someone else’s mom, I think the solution here is to hide her posts from your feed. Incidentally, isn’t it always the people whose posts you’re the least interested in who post the most frequently?

        • I doubt qualification is necessary, but I’m talking about Facebook posts here, not VG posts.

          • As a rule, I don’t hide anyone from my feed. I like the unfiltered version of my feed that shows exactly how much my Facebook friends suck. But I guess the flipside of this is I shouldn’t complain about people’s content in my news feed. And as I said, every so often this woman (not my mom) will post stuff so insane that it is comical, and reads like a parody of herself even though she is dead serious.

      • I would like to complain about the series of gross and obnoxious noises coming from the cube next to me UP TO AND INCLUDING CLIPPING FINGERNAILS!

    • Can we just vote now to have FaceTacoGum.com? It sounds disgusting…but you know you are going to shame consume it when you get home drunk from stripparoke at 3am and its just the only thing in the world you want in that moment.

      (that may have been an overshare guys, sorry, but still- FaceTacoGum, think about it)

    • i would like to complain about the number of libertarians that i am forced to come into contact with on a daily basis. i am tired of these people. please, shut up.

    • Ok, so, the ladyblog was a travel agent (yes they exist ha ha you’re so funny) for four years. So I’ve got some pro tips:

      1) NEVER BOOK FROM A TRAVEL SITE (such as orbitz, kayak, etc.) If something goes wrong with your flight, they can’t help you. The only people that can help you are the airline, and if you booked through a third party there’s crazy hoops to jump through.

      2) Instead, use those sites to look up fares, then book directly from the airline’s website. That way you deal directly with them. Alternatively you can book with a travel agent, but that doesn’t really make sense for domestic travel. If, however, you are travelling to a central african republic to be a doctor and then there’s a coup and you need to get out of there ASAP, having a travel agent is helpful. (true story)

      3) Make sure when you’re checking fares that it includes all taxes and fees. A lot of published prices don’t include them, and they can be several hundred dollars

      4) Fares change. Airlines have blocks of seats at certain set prices. If they sell through the cheapest, they move to the next cheapest, etc. etc. So that’s why they will sometimes change in what seems like a matter of minutes: You selected the last available at one price, but someone finished their transaction before you, so you bump up to the next level.

      5) It is cheaper to fly in the middle of the week.

      6) The best time to book fares is around 3 months before you plan to travel.

      7) It’s a good idea to check prices on places you want to go a while before. That way you know if you’re getting a crazy good deal or ripped off or what have you.

      8) Once you book your flight, STOP CHECKING THE PRICE. It’s done. Someone might have gotten the same flight for 50 dollars cheaper later. It happens. Sometimes you’ll have gotten an awesome deal.

      9) The reasons some airlines charge for baggage and food is that they do not get taxed on those sales. So they have to pay tax on $120 if they charge $120 for the ticket that includes a bag, but if they charge $100 for the ticket and $20 for the bag they are only charged tax on the $100. So if they bothers you, fly companies that don’t charge, like JetBlue.

      10) Never fly American.

      I think that’s all.

      • Oh yeah one more.

        If you’re going to be out of the country for a while, it really does make sense to buy travel insurance. Even if you “never get sick,” shit happens. Like icelandic volcanoes that disrupt all air travel in and out of Europe for several weeks. People who had insurance had all of their hotels and flight changes paid for, plus were reimbursed for any connecting flights they missed. People who didn’t have insurance were fucked. Last summer a friend of the ladyblog had her wallet and passport stolen in the south of France. The insurance covered the cost of her train to paris, her hotel in paris, the cost of changing her return flight, and the cost of the new passport. Depending on your age and what have you it’s like $8-15 a day, which is totally worth it.

      • Thank you for this. The rates to fly back home from Boston are insane because no one wants to fly to Oklahoma. We are trying to plan off season times to go home and see everyone.

  2. Please, if you invite me to your dinner party, let me know if there are going to be giant preserved feet next to my plate so that I can RSVP “No, Thank You.” I do not think that would make a good dinner party. I would not enjoy myself.

  3. Like a car accident, or a motorcycle accident which gave Gary Busey severe brain damage and is probably why he is who he is

  4. Eh. There’s too much effort going into this for it to be that funny to me. Too knowing.

  5. This video made me search for the line between fiction and truth harder than anything has in a little while…woah I think I just saw the fourth dimension! never mind, it’s gone

  6. This makes me so happy that Gary Busey has chosen to enlighten us on the subject of Hobbits once again. I have never wished I could turn my computer off mute at work more than I do right now. Can anyone tell me, how many times does he refer to their genitals as apparatuses in this one?

  7. Do you think he painted those circles himself because he wanted to join in with the wallpaper?

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