It’s time to sing the trailers song! Come on, you know how it goes! Trailers/trailers/trailers/trailers trailers trailers/trailers/trailers/and trailers/trailers trailers trailers trailers trailers/ding dong. (Love that song.)

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2

I did not like this movie when it was called Journey to the Center of the Earth 2: We Are On An Island Now, but at least that movie had The Rock in it. The Rock is dope now!

The Conjuring

NOOOOOOOOOO! It has gotten to the point where horror movie TRAILERS are so scary that you don’t even need to see the actual movie. This is plenty, thank you very much. Also what single mother of two young children is listening to The Zombies? SNOPES. But also I will tell you this: when I move into a sprawling, slightly run-down country house I am going to INVEST IN A FEW LAMPS.

Planes

Hey, I love Pixar almost unconditionally, but FUCK PLANES.

6 Souls

Something tells me that this movie is going to be bad, which is unfortunate, because I like thrillers about multiple personality disorder (see: Primal Fear) and a thriller in which it turns out that one of the personalities is actually the devil is a fun idea, and both of these actors are good. Maybe I’m growing too cynical in my old age. I don’t trust anything anymore. As the great hologram will.i.am once said, where is the love, and the answer is I don’t know but I bet this movie isn’t very good.

Comments (33)
  1. I will see The Conjuring because it has Lily Taylor in it. Nothing else will I see. Probably ever.

  2. I liked the plot of Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs 2 better when it was called “All the Jurassic Park Sequels.”

    • I assume at some point the main character says “How could the same stuff happen to the same guy twice?!” and then winks directly into the camera

      • “Tacos break free. Tacos expand to new territories. Painfully, perhaps even dangerously. But tacos find a way.”

  3. Does anyone want to talk about Mama? I saw the coming attraction in November and then when I saw it (the trailer) on tv I started having nightmares about it. So naturally I went to see it on an random Monday at like 9 pm so there were like 5 people in the theater.
    And there’s so many plot holes and a really weird CGI wig scene and it’s all very silly AND IT’S HAUNTING MY DREAMS.
    I haven’t slept through the night since I saw it. I am terrified to go to the bathroom when I wake up in the night. I hear “mama noises” all the time.
    Email conversation between me and my roommate:
    Me: I meant to fix the coat rack this morning before I left and then forgot. I punched it last night. It’s my biggest Mama trigger.
    Her: I’m worried about you.
    The point being: fuck the Conjuring. Call it Mama 2 and excuse me while I kill myself.

  4. I don’t know what’s worse: That Dane Cook is in a Pixar movie or that I recognized his voice in like 1 second.

  5. Planes was originally supposed to be direct-to-dvd but they decided to release it in theaters instead, that sounds promising guys

    • Also it’s notably not Pixar. Cars and Cars 2 are both still pretty crappy compared to all their other stuff though.

    • Interesting. I mean, these ARE the good people that brought you The Lion King 2, Bambi 2, Cinderella 3, and The Little Mermaid 2: Ariel’s Beginnings.

      • Right. So on the plus side, even if ‘Planes’ doesn’t live up to all the hype, we have ‘Planes 2′ and ‘Planes 3′ to look forward to!

    • The only reason that was an option was because the producers were worried that frenzied demand for copies of the film would lead to theater riots and stolen digital projectors.

    • You know what? Toy Story 2 was ALSO supposed to be direct to video before it was released… Sometimes people just make something too beautiful for the straight to video track!

  6. I’m pretty sure that if I ever ended up a single mother of 2 for whatever reason, I would listen to The Zombies, because why would I stop listening to The Zombies just because I had kids and a divorce or whatever? But then again I also have way too many lamps in my house, so this woman and I have basically nothing in common.

    • EXACTLY. That song is so perfect. Why’d they have to interrupt that song just to scare the shit out of me?!!

      Also, NEVER FOLLOW THE CLAPS!!! Especially not into the BASEMENT! COME ON!

  7. Well, thanks, now I never want anybody to clap for me, ever.

  8. The Conjuring is just an extended infomercial for the Smart Clapper ®

  9. The Trailers song should be to the tune of Picture Pages.

    Trailers trailers trailers trailers
    Time to watch your trailers trailers
    Time to open up your browsers and your videos…

  10. Pixar should remake 2004′s Crash with the characters from Cars.

  11. I’d rather be chased around by a tacodile supreme than see another horror movie about family moving into an old farmhouse and then played with by ghosts. Combine Conjuring, Planes, and 6 Souls into a Pixar horror movie and you might have something. A haunted aircraft carrier that is possessed by a crashed prop plane with multiple personality disorder. You show me some of those doe-eyed anthropomorphic planes living in fear and I’ll grab the popcorn!

  12. Whoa. Hold on. 6 Souls used to be a movie called Shelter: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1179069/ that was released in 2009. I’m sure I’ve seen it. Or is the movie itself multiple personalities? Hm???

    • Weird, has that ever happened before? Re-releasing a movie theatrically under a different name?

      • Yeah I looked it up and it redirected to Shelter. I think it happens every now and then but I couldn’t find any examples.

      • I’m not sure they’re re-releasing it, so much as they’re releasing it for the first time in the US. At least according to IMDB, it’s been released in pretty much every other country, but never got a theatrical release here.

  13. before I looked at the bank draft of $4081, I did not believe that my mom in-law was like really earning money part time on their apple labtop.. there aunts neighbour haz done this 4 only sixteen months and just now paid the depts on there apartment and bought a brand new Cadillac. go to……… http://qr.net/kaLq

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