Photos
Hmm. So, Faraday’s mom has killed her own son before he could detonate a hydrogen bomb and make everything “right,” but now Jack is convinced that it his density to finish what Faraday started. Kate is like “but if we’ve never met then I will never be able to endlessly tease you with the promise of a love I know I don’t have to give,” and Jack is like, “Michael J. Fox is disappearing from the photograph!” and Kate holds her phone up in front of the band at the Under the Sea dance and says “Chuck, you’ve got to hear this!” The magic of time travel suggests that if Jack merely murders everyone in a nuclear holocaust, then it will all just have been a dream*. That is when Baby Widmore pistol whips him in the face, beginning what will be the bloodiest faced episode in Lost history maybe even. Seriously, so many bloody faces!
Faraday’s mom is like “let’s go to the tunnels,” and everyone is like “don’t go to the tunnels,” and she’s like, “we have to go to the tunnels,” so they go to the tunnels. Except for Kate. She is like “no way am I going to those tunnels,” and Jack is like “Kate, what are you doing, if we go to the tunnels, we might be able to fix things,” and Kate says, “Jack, you’re on your own in those tunnels. I am going to get Sawyer to stop you because this love/power triangle ))><((." Then Sayid kills a dude and Jack says "Hi Sayid," and Sayid says "Hi," and Jack says "I'll understand if you don't want to come to the tunnels," and Sayid says "[swims to the tunnels]." So now they are in the tunnels, there is the hydrogen bomb. Fucking Egypt, what is this? Transformers 2? And everyone says “now what?”
MEANWHILE, back in the present, Locke finds Richard in the middle of shooting a Toad the Wet Sprocket video.
Locke is back in charge, so Richard has to do what he says, so first Locke tells him to put on all the eyeliner, then he tells him to follow him into the jungle and you’re coming too, Ben, and Ben is being such a brat. He is literally poking at the sand with a stick, the way brats do. One of the most common brat activities. So they go into the jungle where they find Locke in the midst of his time jumps, and this is the moment we have already seen from much earlier in the season, when Richard magically walks out of the jungle and extracts a bullet from Locke’s leg and gives Locke the compass that Locke will later give back to him and then tells him that he has to bring everyone back to the island and that he has to die.
So, basically Locke just told himself how to do everything he needed to do to get right back to this moment. It’s like jogging in sand, this plotline. Then he goes back to camp and gives everyone a pep talk about how it’s time they all met Jacob. “Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t We Meet Jacob Like a Fucking Family.” Richard doesn’t like the sound of this, and Ben is like “that is why I tried to kill him.” Tried? You did kill him. You brat.
Now Locke is leading everyone to meet the island’s leader, and he tells Ben that when they get there he is going to kill Jacob. Huh? Where did that come from? I want to trust that that makes sense and will be explained, but the Lost creators have already established themselves as being somewhat less than trustworthy when it comes to knowing what the fuck they are talking about. I am willing to trust them, FOR NOW. But it’s not like there’s ever been a point ever while watching this show where I’ve thought “I wish someone would go find Jacob and kill him because that seems like an important and relevant thing to do that didn’t come completely out of nowhere.”
MEANWHILE, back at Dharma, the nerds are going crazy!
King Nerd says that he’s in charge now and everyone is like “I guess he’s in charge now, he just said so.” Even Dr. Chang is like “huh, it really seemed like someone other than you was in charge, but you are yelling awfully loud about how you are in charge, so I guess you are in charge.”
Blah blah, evacuate the women and children just in case time travel is real, draw a map to the hostiles in exchange for going away, Sawyer and Juliette are on the sub going back to 1970s USA where they will Back to the Future 2 themselves into Biff like wealth, but uh oh here is Kate, and when Kate is around you know that it means only one thing:
So, I don’t know, you guys. This has been a really great season, and I am sure that next week’s cliffhanger season finale will leave us all wanting moooooore, but I can’t help but feel a little let down that it was all leading up to…this. Another Jack-Kate-Sawyer-Juliette love-quadrangle. Chekov’s hydrogen bomb on the stage. And this whole killing Jacob thing is just one big Wha? Then again, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe my mind is about to be blown, Fatman style.
Next week:
*This is the first time, well maybe last week was the first time, but this is the first time that just completely ERASING everything that has happened on this show and making it so that it all never happened (i.e. was just a dream basically) has been raised as a serious contender for a conclusion, and I cannot tell you how disappointing that would be. Wait, yes I can: VERY disappointing. And the worst part is how easy it is to imagine the series finale being all of them on Oceanic Flight 815 saying “excuse me,” “pardon me,” “good day to you, sir” because of how bing bong they don’t know each other and oh, look, there’s Michelle Rodriguez and Mr. Ecko! Ugh. Fingers crozzed that this is not what happens.
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Has anyone commented on the rather alarming similarity between Jarvis Cocker and the dearly departed Daniel Faraday?
If not, then please allow me to be the first to say that if anything goes wrong, Disco 2000 will be my constant.
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Relax, smart alec.
And pay attention.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIPScN2JmiM
kids…
You should have known better.
Not to pile on here, but you Gen Y kids are HOPELESS.
I have absolutely no problem piling on. You’re hopeless.
I was gonna say the same thing. I’m surprised no one has asked who Toad The Wet Sprocket is. (A+ reference, Gabe).
It doesn’t look like they’re even gonna keep the whole “the plane never crashed” thing for the series finale, right now it’s looking like the season finale. And if that’s the case: No, David Blaine. Just… No.
Is Kate the worst? Because I think Kate is the worst.
Kate is the worst, but mainly because I had such high hopes for her the first season. She was a really strong, female character and she has evolved into a whiny lady who needs to have a man around to not love properly. Why didn’t the writers keep her as a strong badass? So yes, she is the worst.
If they had left her a strong, independent badass, she would’ve served as piss-poor fantasy fulfillment for the writers and the geek man-boy audience contingent. No bigger a boner-killer for socially awkward nerds than a take-no-bullshit assertive woman. I guess that might be why the two women who filled that role for the majority of this show took on traditionally asexual forms: AARP-aged married woman (Rose) and insane french jungle lady.
Touche! Speaking of, where the hell is Rose? I miss her, Bernard and Vincent!
I think Juliet is a strong, independent type women. She is a doctor and can fix cars. And she tamed Sawyer.
Kate has always been The Worst.
She almost redeemed herself this episode by recognizing the downsides to nuclear holocaust and just walking away, but then she decided that the alternative was to get on the sub. What an idiot.
(With respect:) Didn’t she decide to get on the sub because it was decided by Nerd Who Is Suddenly Head Nerd that she would get on the sub? [Also: I really don't mind Kate, but then I am neither a woman nor a heterosexual man, so.]
Kate back stories are the worst. Then Kate. Heh.
Kate is the worst. Jack is all, “hey bomb the island, the plane never crashes.” Kate is all, “but I must tease you.” Jack is like, HUNDREDS of people on the plane will not die, not to mention Boone, Shannon, Paolo, Michelle Rodriquez, the Hobbit, Hurley’s girlfriend, Mr Ecko, and whoever else has died on this show.
And Kate is like LET THEM ALL DIE SO I CAN TEASE YOU INTO THINKING YOU MIGHT NAIL ME AGAIN.
I think Jack is wrong but I want him to detonate the bomb so that EVERYONE dies.
Jack could be short for Jacob.
I’m just saying
There’s been a longtime (online) theory on this – that Jack is Jacob, and Locke will become his “Richard”….
I think you want to become Jack’s “Richard.” Zing.
Two points. Nicely done.
I was so disappointed when Kate didn’t get shot. Come on, Sayid! Couldn’t you have waited a few minutes?
For a second there, I thought Kate really did get shot, because right before that, Richard said he saw Kate and Jack die. I was actually really proud of the writers for committing to something, but then…nope, she’s back. And as we’ve already established, Kate is the worst.
Of course Jack is Jacob…He was such an adamant non-believer that you knew he was gonna switch, and he does to the max. He becomes Jacob. Everyone else is gonna figure out a way off the island or whatever, but he is gonna be so insane (i.e the new Locke) that he decides to stay and lead the others. plus Jacob is in the shack with Jack’s father and sister… That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.
Congratulations, jesse.
http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2009/05/so_whos_jacob.html
Apparently you are Tom Brokaw of Lost.
Just to throw this in the mix– There’s been a buzz online for a while that actor Mark Pellegrino (from “Dexter”) will show up as Jacob next episode (see more explanation here: http://io9.com/5189983/a-new-guest-star-deepens-some-of-losts-oldest-mysteries). Kind of ruins the awesome idea that Jack is Jacob– but, with his blue eyes and blonde hair, there’s some speculation Jacob might be somehow related to/a grown-up version of Aaron? Would still explain why the whole family is seemingly hanging out in Jacob’s shack…
Seriously, can’t there be some kind of mandate that prohibits spoilers from being posted here? Or that if one does they are banned forever all the time?
Jacob has existed since 1954, as we can conclude from when Locke dropped his name to gain leverage with Richard in that time. Unless Jack somehow got shot back to the beginning of time and got stuck in a temporal spacetime anomaly thingy, then I don’t buy it. I do think that Jacob has some ties with the Shephard lineage, as we do know that Claire and Christian are the only ones that have appeared in his cabin. My bet is that Jacob is the first Shephard, then Ray, then Christian, now Claire and Jack.
The CGI for the submarine going underwater looked like it was made in the early 80s. I know, the economy or whatever, but I think they can take some money out of Alpert’s eyeliner budget and hire someone better than JJ Abrams’ nephew who has the demo version of 3D studio max.
that said, great episode
I don’t think it’s the money (this was, after all, the most expensive piloted-show, EVAH). It’s the time that it takes to pull of good, convincing CGI. On a television series timetable, that is goddamn near impossible.
Four seasons ago, I never thought I would be cheering when a man on a horse hits Jack in the face with a gun. Growing up ain’t easy kids.
And writers, pick a Ben reaction. There has been a ton of shit happen that he barely blinks at but he backed up the congo line when Locke stated his intent to kill Jacob.
This felt like a filler episode but the finale has been painted as a “game-changer” which seems like secret code for “We are going to kill Jack”. Considering that the original plan was to kill him in the first episode, I think they will do it.
The last episode before the finale on every season has been kind of a filler episode. (I’m not going to ensure this by going back and checking because no) Lost’s huge ensemble cast usually means they need to devote about two episodes a season to kind of arranging the chess pieces for the bigger moments – the second to last episode always kind of sets up the finale to be mind blowing.
Like remember the first season when the second to last was just them finishing the boat and getting ready to hike to black rock (snore) and then they went to their first commercial break in the finale by blowing up Arzt?
Well, since Jack = Jesus, he kind of has to die.
I love this show, but this episode had so much of what frustrates me about the show. One, focusing on the dumb rectangle or 12agon or whatever of lurve and sexing. Two, throwing random “shocking” things as endings. You have groups separated by time travel, an island fought over by three or more mysterious factions, and a million other interesting directions to go in. But now the plot is Locke is going to try to kill the never seen boogieman for reasons unknown in the finale? GAHH!
I would say it follows in the trends of penultimate episodes in every season, and I would put forth that this, out of the rest of the precursors to the finale, was the most exciting one. Each lead up to a finale is presented with what we know already to be true and then, at the last minute, a wrench gets thrown in to add anotehr layer to the finale. Season 1, momentum is built toward the launch of the raft, Rousseau comes in and drops “The Others are coming”. Season 2, Michael is leading four of his fellow survivors to a trap, Jack and Sayid are on to him, and then a friggin boat shows up on the shore. Season 3, the survivors plan a surprise attack on the Others and are contingent on Charlie turning off the switch in The Looking Glass (with Charlie knowing he will succeed by dying), Charlie reaches the moon pool and gets taken prisoner by two hot girls (oh fuck). Season 4, everyone’s getting off this friggin rock and Locke drops the bomb, “We have to move the island”. This season, Jacks going to blow up the island and everything that came with it and Locke drops an equally as large bomb, “I’m going to kill Jacob”. So far, they haven’t disappointed when presenting “game changers” in the middle of the fourth quarter. It all somehow comes together and becomes key to the whole plot.
I like not knowing who to root for right now. Jack wants to blow up the island (?) but it might be a good thing because Richard says they all die in the past and maybe blowing up the island changes all that. Locke is going to see Jacob (finally!) but then he wants to kill him when he gets there? I agree with Gabe on the size of that “Wha?” but I figure the writers will wait till Locke tries to kill Jacob to reveal what his motivation is and then it’ll be worth it.
I’m just glad everyone is working toward something. The middle part of the season (the Dharma Initiative episodes) kinda bugged me by it’s pacing and lack of direction. The finale has a clearer picture of what comes next but without knowing what plan you want to suceed. Can’t wait.
As lul-worthy as it is, you’ve really started to grasp at straws for reasons to play Narc School.
Also, I’m sure we’ll find out why Locke is going to kill Jacob because that’s usually how cliffhangers work: if you’re not sure why something is happening, chances are they’ll explain why in the next episode.
But I suppose not every show can be about housewives in some soulless part of the country, so therefore not every show can be fantastic.
The best part of this episode was when the Hostile/Other had Kate at gunpoint and Jack was all “You will not shoot her. You will naaat. [gunshots] Oh, hi Sayid.” Other than that, kinda lame.
I think it was Super Mario 2 that ended with Luigi waking up and realizing it was all a dream. Hopefully the Lost writers have played the game, and felt the same disappointment.
Also, dating back to fake polar bears, the CGI has always been terrible. It’s puzzling how, six years later, their animation capabilities have seemed to worsen.
I’m still holding out hope for a
….and by backstory, I mean, something like this. (Sorry for double post).
I’m pretty sure we’re safe from everything that ahs happened being erased. if I had to guess I’d say Jack successfully detonates the bomb which causes some massive electro-magnetic hoopla. This is what becomes “the incident” and the electricity causes everyone to jump back to the correct time. So all the seventies people will be back in 2007 or whatever and their plane will still crash. That’s probably not what’s going to happen but it seems like it could?
Forget about what I think of the show, this recap had me in stitches. With the he said she said and the Toad the Wet Sprocket video. Very amusing, Gabe, thanks for that.
Kate is the worst. Jack is also the worst. They will spend the remaining episodes duking it out for utlimate worstness. I can’t wait until they both die – cheers heard ’round the world!
Note to Gen Y: go watch “Red Dawn”. It will give you a slight air or credibility.
I think juliette and Sawyer are also locked in combat for who is worser than the other. I don’t know which of those 4 is truly the Worst, but i used to like them all and now they are worster than each other.
If they go all St. Elsewhere* on us, it’ll be the biggest outrage in series finale history. Seriously. Llike, Soprano’s finale outrage times a bazillion.
*Gen Y’ers: Here’s a link describing St. Elsewhere’s density.
welcome to narc school. i love you.
Spoiler alert:
King Nerd is Jacob.
Let it marinate for a while.
Youre welcome
There was a split second when I thought Kate had been shot and was going to die, and my roommate and I totally high fived about it. Then we found out she was still alive and we high-:(‘d over it.
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Yes.
Your avatar never, ever fails to make me LOL.
I don’t believe you.
found this quote from Damon Lindeloff about the LIbby thing:
Libby’s story will not be wrapped up on the show. Says Damon, “I have learned that if you kill someone off the show, they are less likely to cooperate with you.”
so it’s not that they never planned on explaining Libby, it’s that they can’t explain her without the actress, and the actress won’t come back. That’s at least somewhat reassuring, right?
What I don’t understand about the whole Jack-Juliet-Kate-Sawyer love barf bucket is that the writers gave themselves a pretty easy out, with the whole “Sawyer luvz Juliet nao!” shit, but then when he looked scared when she came on the sub that kind of ruined the whole thing. And then before that Kate being all significantly hinting that she lyke omg can’t believe that Jack thinks getting to see her nakedz was bad times! Which must mean that the quadrangle is significant. I mean if you think about it Jack and Juliet are sort of the male/female counterparts of each other, and so are Kate and Sawyer, and that whole thing about the black and the white from the first season maybe there’s some significant thing about balance of opposites or some shit. I’ve been derisively entertained by this show so far and how I feel about it as a whole will definitely depend on how they resolve this kind of shit.
The last thing on these people’s minds should be falling in love and it’s very sad that the Lost writers don’t recognize that. I can understand Sawyer and Juliet falling in love on the island after the first year with no flashes, but when you have guns pointed at your head or you’re sneaking through the woods or handcuffed to a fixture in a submarine, you should not be thinking about something as insignificant as your passing emotions, whether they be lustful or jealous
my density is to be a spelling tard. not punctuation though, apparently, or even grammar.
The love – quadrangle is their constant
Yeah, King Nerd needs to get shot. I thought it was pretty clear that Dr. Chang was in charge! He has a PhD…he gets to be in all the movies… I don’t get it.
Also, father-son reunion made me want to hug my TV. That and “Dude I give up we’re from the future.” I just fucking love Hurley.
Jack also needs to die. But he’s not Jesus. Locke is Jesus!
And I agree that Kate went from being awesome to being The Worst.
King Nerd does get shot . . . by himself . . . in the hatch . . . in the future. < / end nerd alert>
Or “bractivities,” if you will.
what if Locke is actually Jacob, or rather, Jacob is future Locke cause then he would be going to kill himself only he doesn’t know it but Jacob (aka Future Locke) would know it cause he did it in the past when he was Locke going to kill Jacob (aka himself) and would be prepared…my brain just exploded.
john jacob jingleheimer schmidt
his name is my name too.
I thought Jacob was Christian Shepherd. ?!
Can’t Daniel Farraday please be Jacob? I don’t think it’s that far-fetched, and no one is kind of mentioning it, and I just have a feeling about it you guys. GUT FEELING. C’mon.
And as far as penultimate episodes go, this one was pretty great fantastic.
Jacob is Nikki and Paulo [crosses fingers].
The “density” joke will forever go down as the most misunderstood joke on videogum ever.
It makes sense Locke would want to kill Jacob. The Others have been blinding following his orders for too long, like chess pieces in some sick game, and it’s caused nothing but death.
blindly* not blinding
Always dig the action, but the writing on this ep was painfully cheesy. Thank God, I’m fiercely loyal.
I hate spoilers so I asked my husband to read this article and let me know if it were safe for me to read. He has been out of the country for a few weeks and hasn’t seen Lost during this time. He wrote back on Skype and said, “wow. that makes almost as much sense as the actual show… scary!” I asked him if it contained spoilers about the finale and he wrote, “it’s a complete spoof.” If that doesn’t sum up season five, I don’t know what else does.
Looney McNerd’s Crazy Idea: what if Locke is planning on killing Jacob for the same reason he dragged Richard to the jungle? Meaning to make something that already happened happen? Based on what we’ve seen of Jacob till now, the guy’s not exactly alive and kicking and playing ping pong right? Might be cause Locke killed him in 1977.
Jacob is obviously Hurley.
Check…MATE!