Rich Juzwiak posted this clip over on Gawker more than a week ago, so it’s basically ancient herstory that has almost been lost to the ravaging sands of time. But Gawker has this very Internet-unfriendly policy of posting all of their clips in a non-embeddable player so that you have to go to their site to watch it. I totally get it! Look, this is not a post about Gawker’s business model or whatever. I honestly could not care less. I just checked and oh, yup, we are all still going to die one day. Embed your videos however you want everyone! Or don’t embed any videos whatsoever. The point is, the network that originally aired this clip, TLC, has finally uploaded it to YouTube, and it is such a great clip, and also you know what they say about those who don’t know their My Strange Addiction ancient herstory being double dog doomed to repeat it. (That is a saying, yes?) Anyway, there is this guy who is “in a relationship” with 15 inflatable pool animals, whatever that even means, and he kisses them and eats Spaghetti-O’s with them, and he is your boyfriend, so I guess he is in a relationship with 16 inflatable pool animals.

My favorite part is when they interview his friend who is like, “When I first found out about Mark’s inflatables I thought that’s strange,” and then they just cut away and that is all he says, no “but then”s, the end, he still def thinks that about Mark 100%. OH MARK, GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND YOUR TOYS, PLEASE BE CAREFUL KISSING THEM AROUND THE SEAMS BECAUSE THOSE SEAMS CAN BE VERY SHARP AND THEY MIGHT CUT YOUR PRECIOUS LIPS!!! #Love #SwimmingPools #KendrickLamar

Comments (27)
  1. fake and asexual

  2. I cut my lip on my coffee cup earlier today. WTF is that?!

    Also I watched this episode and I think it is really interesting the way he genders certain of the animals as male and some as female and oh my goodness that is just very interesting.

  3. so THIS is how I find out I’m an inflatable pool animal? My life is a liiiiiieeeeeeeee

  4. Poly(vinyl Chloride)gamy

  5. I must admit, when I saw that shark tucked into bed there at the end, I thought it was pretty cute. I’m worried about myself.

    Seriously, though, I’ve noticed that a lot of these people are in love with things made of modern materials, such as plastic or latex. What would they have been in love with in, like, the 1930s? Bakelite? Will there be a material in the future that hasn’t even been conceived of yet that I will be in love with???? Is that why I’m single? My heart is just waiting for some space-age material to win it over???

  6. Mark came home late from a hard day from work and just wanted to relax with a glass of wine and maybe a plate of Trader Joe’s frozen pasta, but he was shocked to find that his porpoise, Lucy, was half-deflated in the corner. “LUCY!!! WAKE UP, LUCY! I CAN’T LOSE YOU YET!,” he yelled, but it was too late. She had spring a miniscule leak around the valve, and no matter how much he blew and blew into her, her neck stayed slumped forward, resigned. “Lucy … I will always love you,” Mark said, tears streaming sadly down his face.

  7. A lot of times when stuff like this gets posted over on Gawker, I specifically avoid watching it because I want it to be fresh for me when it shows up on Videogum. I’m worried about me, you guys.

  8. Do you realize
    That everyone
    You know
    Someday
    Will deflate

  9. So when he bathes his inflatables,* what exactly do you think it is that he’s washing off?

    *inflatables strikes me as a really clinical term for something you have an emotional attachment to

  10. “You take a pool full of 15 inflatable animals and dive in it” – Kendrick Lamar

  11. Can we talk for reals about this, guys? Is TLC under any obligation to “verify” this guy’s story? Is this a wink-wink nudge-nudge thing? I mean, it’s clear that this isn’t real, right? We can all say that here without fear of reprisal, right? See, here’s the thing: if this is a comedy bit, that’s fine. It’s lazy and uninspired, but at least we know what it is. But if this is ostensibly supposed to be an authentic examination of someone’s authentic addiction, should TLC be allowed to simply put this on the air like, “hey this is what this guy told us! Crazy, huh?!” Or do they owe their viewers a bit more than that? This is a confusing piece of television.

    • I had only seen the Jerry Springer show a couple of times, but one episode I saw was about girls in love with clowns or something. A girl that I went to college with (a video art student) was one of the guests. I wasn’t friends with her, so I never got to ask her about it, but I assume it was an elaborate prank. Or maybe she really loved clowns.

      Jerry Springer isn’t on the LEARNING channel, so I don’t really care if he verifies his guests’ stories – this just reminded me of that girl.

      • Your analogy is a good one. As Jerry Springer devolved, it was readily apparent that what he was offering wasn’t “reality” in the sense that we had come to expect it from other talk shows, but rather it was this alternate universe of “actors” effectively playing to one stereotype or another. We were in it together, and Springer wasn’t trying to sell it as real. Even the WWF dropped the whole “wrestling is real” schtick eventually.

        But if you look at TLC’s lineup, some of these shows purport to be teaching us something, or revealing the real lives of real people. No one doubts the veracity of the extremely obese woman or the “baby story” stories of pregant women having babies. And on the other side of the coin, Honey Boo Boo is appreciated for the silly side show that it is. So where exactly does this show, and particularly this segment, fall? Are we “learning” or are we just having fun with Honey Boo Boo? And what are TLC’s obligations to presenting us with some sort of “truth” or “reality” in a program like this? Do they have any?

    • I have seen several episodes of My Strange Addiction, and they generally do take them to see medical professionals who verify and talk about their addictions with them, so… That still doesn’t mean that the person isn’t faking it I suppose, but at least they try to get some sort of medical verification.

    • I have a friend who definitely faked the funk for a show like this…which has caused me to question whether or not some of these subjects aren’t really using this as some high-art prank/study on society as part of their post-doctoral art therapy thesis….or something.

  12. “It’s almost like I’m going a little bit crazy.” is the understatement of the year.

  13. Oh my goodness, I have so many boyfriends today! I feel like the belle of the ball!

  14. Wait, is this the Facebook definition of “in a relationship”? Like I know that technically you’re in (familial) relationships with your parents and siblings, and in (friendly) relationships with your friends, but “in a relationship” involves fucking or at least conscious abstinence, yes?

  15. I’m no psychiatrist or anything, but most of these kinds of stories seem to have some element of family dysfunction in them.

    SOLVED!

  16. Paige. I can see what your saying… Mark`s blurb is impossible… on thursday I bought a brand new Land Rover Defender since I been earnin $9286 this-past/month and-just over, $10k last-munth. it’s by-far my favourite-job Ive ever had. I started this eight months/ago and immediately started earning more than $78, p/h. I follow the details on this straightforward website……… http://qr.net/kanu

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