Whoa, check out Anne Hathaway’s cool new hat! What a cool hat. Mrs. Cool Hat over here. She’s so low-profile. People are like “whoa, is that the actress Anne Hathaway, star of movies?” but then they shake their heads, “No way, can’t be, her face is too hidden by her lingerie hat.” What is even going ON here? Like, I know that there is this weird tug-of-war going on where celebrities complain about the paparazzi while simultaneously having their publicists call the paparazzi and tell them that they are going to the coffee shop. And I am sure constant public attention can get tiring at times. But, like, even normal people will often LOOK IN THE MIRROR BEFORE THEY LEAVE THEIR HOUSE. Just do a quick head check! “Let’s see, I am wearing socks and underwear and pants, check. Shoes? Yup. Check. Swoop neck top? Got it. I’ve got my make up looking cute today, thank you Veronica, you did a great job on my make up! How’s your son?! Did he get the espresso maker I sent him for his fifth birthday?! OK, make up check. Any food in my teeth? No. Great. I think I’m all ready to go. Oh, whoops, hahahah, I almost left the house wearing this impossibly embarrassing mega-visor lingerie hat. Take that off. OK, world, here I come!” Something like that. Isn’t she married? I’m not being some kind of gender normative monster by saying that if I had a wife and she wore that hat I wouldn’t let her leave the house. Not because I am the man and I am in charge but because WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE BEST FRIENDS AND FRIENDS HELP EACH OTHER AND GIVE THE HONEST ADVICE EVEN WHEN IT IS HARD TO HEAR. Good grief, Anne Hathaway. You are already pretty unlikeable. Just lose the hat, dude. Speaking of Anne Hathaway and poor fashion choices, the Oscars are this Sunday, at 100PM! (Via TheSuperficial.)

Comments (38)
  1. Anne HAThaway.

  2. That’s some bad hat, Hathaway.

  3. More like HatWoman, amirite???

  4. “100PM” sounds like some batshit Nicolas Cage time travel movie

    • Oh man, I want that movie to be real. I just watched Looper the other day and thought “this would be so much more fun if Nic Cage was in it.” To be fair, I think that about most movies, but definitely about flawed time travel action movies.

    • “They took his family… to his past. To save them, he’d have to go to… their future. And what they didn’t realize? He had no care for the present. Nic Cage. 100PM. Christmas.”

      I would so watch this. Gosh, maybe I’ll write it!

      Badideajeans, I just got the Looper DVD yesterday. Prolly gonna watch it this weekend. So psyched.

      • Looper is so good. If you haven’t seen it, try not to focus on the time travel plot holes, because they are only really in place to get to much bigger, more interesting ideas (if you have seen it you probably knew that already and so ignore me). Also, the deleted scenes on the DVD are really great, particularly the extended 30 year montage.

  5. I got sucked into a Slate hole last night because that advice column is insane. Anyway, I read some stupid column about why everyone hates Anne Hathaway and the answer was “sexism.” They could have printed “sexism” like 300 times over and over, but instead they went with was a boring compare and contrast that involved Hugh Jackman. Irrelevant to anything, I own that sweater.

    • Do you like Slate? I always think the articles are going to be cool and then I end up hating them. Although I love their Dear Prudence column. I love reading advice columns, no matter if the advice is generally good or bad.

      • My dad likes to give me newspaper clippings all the time, and when we were planning our wedding, he kept cutting out advice columns pertaining to weddings, such as invitation etiquette, etc.

        • Wedding advice columns are my favorite. Brides freaking out bc of bridesmaid color woes, font wars, settings not being in the right eggshell to ecru and how to fire the caterer at the last minute… I have been in so many insane weddings in which normal people turned crazy by that bizarre overdone business that makes normal, grown adult women I’m friends with start to believe the BIGGEST DAY hype and act like they’re in My Super Sweet 16. I have so much bridesmaid PTSD that these columns bring me levels of joy I cannot describe.

          • Ha! It’s true. I think we stayed pretty normal, although we spent way too long deciding on an envelope color for the invitations.

            We made our own bouquets, found bridesmaid dresses that were under $100 and could be worn again (according to both ladies), found suits at JC Penney for under $100, had donuts instead of wedding cake, and just tried to make it fun.

            The bridesmaids were not given any instructions on hair, jewelry, or shoes. I would like to think they do not have bridesmaid PTSD.

            The only thing we were uptight about was not allowing children at the wedding or reception. I’m sure some people thought we were jerks for this, but at a certain point, I realized not everyone would be happy, so at least we should be.

          • I have so many horror stories. Of course my fun friends that had cool weddings were the ones I couldn’t attend bc bridesmaid duties sucked more than $1200 out of my already small pockets for 10 damn years of my life.

          • i was obsessed with wedding advice columns while planning my wedding. I found them beyond amazingly hilarious. Mostly because people are crazy or at least they turn crazy at the mention of weddings.
            badideajeans, sounds like you lived all the best stories I read!
            My only diva issue was that I didn’t want kids at the wedding either, which was tricky but the easiest solution was just to hire a babysitter myself. Problem solved! (except for the in-town couple who got their own babysitter and grumbled about it…)

      • Not really, but I don’t hate it like other sites… unless I overtly hate and article and realize that it was made to be awful on purpose. I’m so fucking sick of that journalism business model. And I seriously can’t tell if it’s gotten super bad bc I’m older now or if there was very much a conscious effort. Maybe both? This being said, the troll bait articles there are really bad but not as bad as … The NY Times Style section or this thing I read on the Daily Beast that was chastising women for not having more babies. (But the straight-up insanity of Bonnie Fuller actually made me laugh at the Daily Beast article instead of getting mad. I did submit a few reasons why I wasn’t having kids with fake names and locations, just for fun and because old Star magazine was the best.)

        But, yeah, advice columns are the greatest. Who the fuck writes to these people???

        • my friend wrote an advice column about etiquette (not sure which one) and the responder insulted her and didn’t answer the question. So that’s pretty horrible. Also sometimes the questions are so ridiculous and/or obvious. I just find them very entertaining.

          • I love captain awkward a lot. Dear Prudence can be…scarring.

          • NY Times Style’s regular and weddings is my favorite, then Dear Prudence for how to handle your convict ex husband gay incest sex with his little brother, who is also your nanny, in front of your dying grandparent on children’s visiting days, then various others… especially helicoptor parents freaking out that little genius Jayden is being bullied by less genius Denim in the new Whatever-on-Hudson Gifted program.

            I can barely think of a single question where I’ve questioned the mentality to make that question public than actually have the need for real advice. Except the wedding stuff about the best time to fire the caterer because they went with the wrong color of off-white on the plates. That’s pretty legit.

  6. I guess we should be grateful that she isn’t wearing it backwards, right?

  7. I’ve been told by my spouse that my winter hat is not good, and while I appreciate the honesty, it’s cold out, and I have left the house wearing it. I have taken this opinion to heart though, and bought a new hat.

    Anne Hathaway’s hat does not look warm or concealing, so I fail to see the function it serves.

  8. If I didn’t love my avatar… well, let’s just say Anne Hathaway’s D-cup bra hat would be there now.

    (That’s probably a D cup, right? How large is Anne Hathaway’s head?)

  9. Matt Lauer is going to really be a pig about this hat the next time he sees her, isn’t he?

  10. I imagine this is what a real housewife of whatever city would wear in mourning.

  11. It looks like Jesus is whispering to her that her hat is awful and she’s trying to ignore him.

  12. OT but remember the coffee enema people. My friend’s an artist and was inspired to make some art. Here it is:

    • I love this so much. Mr. Truck and I saw it on The Soup and then made the worst jokes possible for the next 30 minutes. We started, of course, with “the best part of waking up is Folgers in your butt” that is pictured. Here is the best of what else we came up with:
      Good to the Last Plop
      America’s Runs are Dunkin’

  13. The Devil Wears Lingerie Hats.

  14. So Paris Jackson did design a line of celebrity face covers!

  15. She really really really really makes me want to scratch my eyes out

  16. I had a dream my hat would be
    So different from this one I’m wearing

  17. I think those hats are supposed to be worn in the bedroom with nothing else on. Maybe shoes. She’s doing it wrong!

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