You’re standing in clothing store with your significant other. You came there today to buy a few new shirts and a skirt for spring, because you don’t buy new clothes for yourself very often, and you deserve it, and really you don’t feel like you need to justify the purchases to anyone so why don’t you get off my back? As you go through the racks your significant other stands patiently behind you, giving you a bit of anxiety. “Anything looking good?” he or she asks. You have only been there for seven minutes. “No, not really. Still just looking,” you respond, trying to remember that it was nice of him or her to come and you should just relax and take your time. “What about the outfit on the mannequin?” “Uh– Well, I don’t know, the outfit on the mannequin is nice, but I don’t really think-” “What if you could see what it looked like if the person in the outfit were raising her arms above her head, or walking, or picking up one leg?” “What?” You have no idea what your significant other is talking about and really wish you had just gone to the store alone. “I don’t know, I just mean like what if you could–AHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

The mannequin begins to move, mimicking your movement, as you both run terrified out of the store. Of course, mimicking your movement, the mannequin runs after you while keeping your pace. Cuts left when you cut left. Climbs on top of the car when you climb on top of the car. Holds your neck while you hold its neck; you’d almost feel connected if its eyes weren’t so lifeless. “Play dead!” your significant other screams at you, desperately. “YOU HAVE TO PLAY DEAD! IF THAT WORKS I DO THINK THAT THIS IS A PRETTY GOOD OUTFIT, IT LOOKS NICE IN MOTION, YOU SHOULD AT LEAST TRY IT ON!” (Via Geekologie.)

Comments (13)
  1. It’s happened before*

    *yes this is the sequel but whoa if you’ve seen it, it’s pretty amazing

    • I can’t walk past those store windows in NYC without thinking of Mannequin every time. That franchise has cast a long shadow.

  2. This is really one of my worst nightmares. I almost didn’t continue watching the new Doctor Who because of the mannequins in the first episode.

  3. Finally, a mannequin that can dance every bit as badly as I can.

  4. This reminds me, when I was little my mom would sometimes mention her childhood Howdy Doody marionette that she stored in the garage and how she wanted to get it out so that my siblings and I could share in the mirthful joy that she used to feel whenever she played with it. The idea never failed to horrify us and we would beg her–BEG HER–not to find it. Puppets, man. Puppets.

    • My cousin once gave me a marionette of a clown (I KNOW) when I was a kid, and I loved it so much. I found the best place to hang it in my room, which happened to be from the curtain rod on my window. My parents made me take it down because it looked like I was hanging a baby (I KNOW!!!!) so now I can’t think of marionettes or clowns or babies without wanting to cry.

      • My neighbors keep a mannequin doll on a window that is perpendicular to their back entrance. Whenever the motion detectors are set off, the scary mannequin doll is illuminated and appears to be staring at you.. even if you’re just walking your dog at night. Honestly, it’s probably pretty effective because the doll definitely looks like it wants to kill you… or stalk you like a Weeping Angel.

  5. So, having spent a whole lot of time in museums after hours, the idea of sculptures coming to life freaks me out to no end. This happening at the mall, not cool, department store. Not cool.

  6. It’s Night at the Museum meets Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Kaboosh! Summer blockbuster, you guys. Dibs.

  7. Finally, someone has figured out how to mash up Mannequin and Weekend At Bernie’s. Get McCarthy on the phone.

  8. “These clothes look nice, but the only thing keeping me from buying them is the motionless mannequin” is the thought that has made me a nudist all my life. UNTIL NOW.

  9. Yeah, Whovians know what happens when the mannequins move.

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