Good luck out there tonight, everybody.

Comments (33)
  1. Um, Doggiewoggiez! Poochiewoochiez!. That should about do it.

  2. “You can pretty much just ram any part of your head into any part of a person’s body, and it counts as a kiss.” – this video

  3. Mirror Kiss and Music Kiss both seem dangerous to a person with neck conditions, such as myself. I think I have to sit this one out

  4. I will say that the pie charts are pretty good

  5. How I would have loved this as a little truck…kids today have such a crazy world to grow up in…imagine the internet is not only a place that will crush your soul once everyone else sees that video of you singing to your crush, but also where you can go to find out how to kiss someone!

    BNPG: Let’s all share what the silliest/grossest/most embarrassing thing we’ve ever done to win over a crush!

    • I made her watch Harry Potter with me in her friend’s bed on a Saturday night. Then the smoochin’ began.

    • I can’t think of anything, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I found you something silly on the Internet…

    • I’ll start! I wrote a series of letters from a “secret admirer” that were probably so creepy and were mostly just poems. On one I tried to spray perfume on the paper (like they do in the movies, natch) and since it was little kid perfume and not actual perfume, it was just a large grease stain on the paper. This was probably in 4th or 5th grade and he told us (I was part of his “friend group”!) in a way that was clear he was a little grossed out so I never told him it was me. By high school he grew up to be a real “dreamboat” and the NICEST person ever.

    • When I was in first grade, there was this girl who I had a crush on. She sat near me in class, so one day I decided that I was going to go for it. I whispered that I had a secret to tell her, so she leaned in close to listen. And that was when I planted a kiss right on her cheek in the middle of class. The teacher totally saw me, because she was about 10 feet away. I know she told my parents about it, but I never got in trouble or anything. Thanks for letting young love flourish Miss Montana!

    • I once gave a dude my copies of BOTH The Mouse and the Motorcycle series AND the Superfudge series and when we broke up I never got them back and I’m still very upset about it. That was 15 years ago.

      • That wasn’t even embarrassing, just upsetting.

      • Sometimes, when I’m really sad and a little drunk, I consider tracking down my high school crush to demand that he finally return my copy of The Neverending Story with the really cool cover, because the one I got to replace it after he never gave it back is just not the same.

    • In high school I saw this band play at the “Teen Zone” in my town and developed a huge crush on the singer because he was cute and played a sparkly guitar. I found out through internet stalking that they were looking for a keyboard player, so I concocted a scheme whereby I would join his band and we would fall in love and get married. I talked to him at school a little bit and we emailed back and forth about it, but then one day I got an IM from his girlfriend (this was on AOL of course) telling me to back off. See, I used to use these elaborate email signatures with song lyrics in crazy colors and fonts, and apparently she saw my emails and thought I was sending him poems. Even though it wasn’t true I was absolutely mortified and abandoned my plans immediately.

    • Goonies on DVD and a sixpack.

  6. What happens if you do the Music Kiss to the Music of Kiss?

  7. This was slightly uncomfortable to watch at work. There should be a version of “NSFW” that reads: Not Safe For Work Because Awkward!

  8. Now I’m in the mood for a very passionate French Eskimo kiss.

  9. Vacuum Kiss and Lip-Suction Kiss were my moves in middle school. Uh.

  10. I never took these guys too seriously before, but now I see they’re right — everything really IS terrible.

  11. Someone needs to gif the part where the voiceover talks about how girls like to be caressed. Some very awkward caressing.

  12. A few months back I slept with a girl who straight up did not know how to make out. Or at least she willfully refused to make out, which would mean she prefers it when hookups are awkward? I get that everyone has their own path in life or whatever, but I do not get how someone in their 20′s has not learned the concept of making out.

    • Worst makeout stories? One time I made out with a dude at a frat party (this is the setup to a classic great makeout story) that I’d been eyeballing for a few weeks. He had a British accent! He was kind of cute! But when we kissed, he dove in with such force and velocity that it was entirely unpleasant, even though we went on making out for probably a couple of hours. After that I couldn’t make eye contact with him ever again.

  13. Man, I wish I were a bad boy. Then I’d get, statistically speaking, 80% more smooches in high school. As opposed to my 0%.

  14. before I saw the bank draft saying $6922, I accept that my friends brother had been trully making money in their spare time from there pretty old laptop.. there brothers friend has been doing this for less than 21 months and recently repayed the morgage on there place and bought BMW. we looked here…….. BIT40.ℂOℳ

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