The 2013 Academy Awards are being held on Sunday, February 24th, at the newly christened Dolby Theater (formerly home to the Kodak Theater). Cool? I don’t know. I kind of blew it this year and have not seen most of the big movies that are up for awards. I haven’t seen Argo or Silver Linings Playbook or Lincoln or Zero Dark Thirty. This is on me, this is a Gabe problem, and I recognize that. I saw Lawless? Does that help? JK. Anyway, since the awards are being held at a new theater this year, the Hollywood Reporter has an EXCLUSIVE look inside the V.I.P. Lounge where all of the stars will be hanging out backstage between presenting and winning and/or presenting and losing, and uh, COOL LOUNGE, doesn’t seem like A BORING NIGHTMARE AT ALL!

When it came to designing the lounge, Dolby created “visual representation of sound. The ceiling and the walls show you what sound might look like — sound waves, sound pressure, video with a visual representation [playing on the walls],” explains Ramzi Haidamus, executive vp marketing and business development at Dolby. “The ceiling has been redone to represent a sound sculpture [using fabric].”

On one wall, behind glass, sits sound pioneer Ray Dolby’s 1988 Oscar statuette.

Ugh. Can you even imagine? I love how even in the only photograph that has been released of the “V.I.P. Lounge” that by all measures should be intended to make the V.I.P. Lounge seem incredibly exclusive and luxurious you can clearly see an airport-style PUBLIC RESTROOM in the background. Here’s the thing about Hollywood: it seems like everyone kind of knows each other, but usually not that well, just enough to be compelled to make incessant, over-eager small talk sometimes while shooting jealousy daggers into each other’s faces, while Anne Hathaway makes loud pooping noises from the bathroom that is two feet from the bar. The flop sweat and ego panic that must fill this room while, what, Skrillex plays over the PA, or probably even worse, like that Seth MacFarlane CD where he covers showtunes, everyone sucking down vodka-infused kale smoothies and glaring hard at Jessica Chastain wondering where the fuck she even gets off, giving each other quick handjobs underneath the sound waveform shaped cafe tables in the hope that something, anything will relieve the constant tension they feel as the burden of their ambition and desires threatens to crush them at any. given. moment. Cool lounge, though. Love the fabric ceiling. See you on Feb. 24!

Comments (24)
  1. September this year?

  2. Is that the Triforce on the bathroom door?

  3. even though i was one of those kids that would interview themselves in the bathroom mirror, between the advent of the internet and, just, all the evidence, of everything, i’ve come to conclude that being famous is the absolute worst. it is a no win situation! all the good stuff you get is completely outweighed by all the grossest stuff on earth.

  4. Um, I’m pretty sure kale smoothies are infused with gin.

  5. I hope Hathaway is just making loud pooping noises, and not actually pooping, because that’s way funnier and I can 100% get behind that.


  7. What the designer neglected to mention is that the ceiling and the walls are the visual representation of the sound of eye-rolling.

  8. Every year i say that i give up on the academy awards becuase last year it was awful and it takes forever and they use key plot settings so for every movie i haven’t’ seen i can pretty much guarantee on being spoiled and people who i want to win never win and people who i want to lose always win so watching it will be a colossal waste of my time.

    Yet I watch it anyways cus my time really isn’t that valuable to me when it comes down to it.

  9. I would lounge there.

  10. To me it looks less like “sound” and more like a 1998 athletic shoe.

  11. To their credit, it’s much cleaner than you would expect from The Oscars. This looks more like the VIP Lounge for The Felixes.

  12. That is just a really tasteful Dolby logo print on all the walls.

  13. This place looks awful.

  14. Can me make ‘Gabe Problem’ a thing?

  15. It looks like a bar where a broken-down George Jetson would drink himself to death while Uniblab looks on indifferently.

  16. until I looked at the receipt four $7738, I didn’t believe that my neighbours mother woz like actualey taking home money part-time at there computar.. there moms best frend started doing this for less than twelve months and just cleared the dept on their cottage and got Lotus Carlton. I went here…………… BIT40.ℂOℳ

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