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Yesterday, we learned that Dan Quinn was a fighter, a scientist, the future richest man in the planet (yes, in the planet), a fan of Dave Chappelle, and a vlogger. The thing is, you can take the red pill or the blue pill–and I like to believe that Dan Quinn would be fucking pumped about a Matrix reference, playa–and I have foolishly elected to take the red pill and now I am basically free-falling because where Dan Quinn takes us we don’t need roads. Huh?
So, if you will remember from yesterday, Dan Quinn is about to blow this whole science thing wide open with his discovery of putting a controversial sweetener, Stevia, in a blender with water. Now you’ve got pure H20, homeboy. Only drink it to the soap, though. (What?) Now, a tipster (thanks, Graham) sent in a link to a physics message board on which Dan Quinn pleads his case to actual scientists for why Stevia in a blender is the missing link that Einstein failed to discover (spaceship fuel, playa!), and I am telling you, the more you know about this guy, the more you relate to Joe Pantoliano’s character Cypher in the movie The Matrix (two Matrix references, Dan, you’re really doing it!).
“Why didn’t I take the blue pill”
–Joe Pantoliano
Dan Quinn’s bulletins posted on the physics message board are categorically nuts. Here is one sample:
If ever there was an instance to take a leap of faith, and just BLEND STEVIA IN WATER, this is truly it. Adding energy to Stevia and Water splits Water into a Soup that I believe is split h2o. The fact that Soup ‘returns’/seperates into 2 distinct layers, one being pure h2o and the other being foam that ph’d toxic on a digital ph’er should tell you that Stevia is changing water in some form or fashion. All it would take is a $10 investment at a local health food store, and blending some in water. The American FDA illegalized Stevia for a reason. Because they don’t like anything that’s good or healthy for the population generally. Stevia seems to be an answer from mother nature that wasn’t allowed for in the rules and laws that govern physics and the other sciences. Please, just take the time to blend some Stevia in Water. And I know that you won’t regret the decision to do so. I state that Stevia is the ‘missing link’ for Cold Fission that Einstein couldn’t find. And if he couldn’t find it, no one probably could. The fact that Stevia seperates chemicals from the h2o molecule, as well as me literally feeling my body purging itself when I started to use Stevia should be an indication that something out of the ordinary is going on here. What if I’m correct about this? All you have to do is take $10, and an hour out of your day, to blend Stevia in Water. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.
Cold fission, playa! What if he is right about this? There is absolutely no way to know whether ornothe is right about this. The American FDA is always illegalizing things because they don’t like anything good or healthy for the population generally. Dan Quinn’s username is dqcelticwarrior because Dan Quinn is a pimp.
We’re gonna need a bigger brain hospital!
In today’s Dan Quinn video, he claims that he is a spiritual god here to free all the slaves, that he’s also nominated for “Poet of the Year,” and that he was the inspiration for the Bad Boy sticker. That last one, to be fair, sounds totally legitimate, because Bad Boy stickers are some of the worst stickers out there.
Of course, I’m not the first person to discover the secret delights of Dan Quinn. It’s like they always say, “ask the internet for a Dan Quinn soundboard, receive a Dan Quinn soundboard.” Then call a restaurant:
The bird flu vacuum war is hell.
Thanks, sort of, to Joe Mande for his consistent research into the Dan Quinn phenomenon.
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We need to figure out how to get that soap off the pure H2O for Dan Quinn!! He needs us, videogummers!
Soap It Forward
I seriously watched a bunch of his videos. He’s cool. Amiright? Bros?
Well he did get like nine(!) hits off of that thing.
This makes me wonder if he thinks soap is spelled, “S-O-U-P.”
Those physicists are not having it.
“What editor is saying, and I will repeat, is that this has nothing whatsoever to do with fusion or fission, nor does it offer any possibilities as a new energy source. I’m sorry to disappoint you, your heart seems to be in the right place, and I’m sure we all wish there were some magic new source of unlimited cheap, clean energy. But you have come to a physics web site and the simple fact is your claims have no scientific validity.
Before you suggest otherwise you should take the time to familiarize yourself with the meanings of a number of terms:
cold fusion (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cold_fusion)
fusion power (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fusion_power)
heavy water (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heavy_water)
fission (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_fission)
As it stands your use of these terms is at best unconventional and at worst meaningless.”
Dan Quinn just got told. (Not that it matters)
I wish they linked to the Wikipedia entries for “soap” and “soup”.
I’ve always seen Joe Pantoliano as the poor man’s Steve Buscemi. Just try to think about one role he’s played that Buscemi wouldn’t have done better with the same characteristics – and then some. On the other hand, I guess Pantoliano could’ve outplayed him in all of the roles Buscemi has done but shouldn’t have, y’know: Armageddon, Escape from LA, Rising Sun, Spy Kids 2+3, …
Completely unrelated. Just a thought. Whatever.
If you replace all of the times he mentions Stevia with something highly addictive, like cocaine or heroin, all of his craziness starts to makes sense.
This is what happens when a non believer runs into a stevia crazed angel of god playa. http://www.mma-core.com/videos/_Dan_Quinn_Recent_Fight_Video?vid=10004432
“The American FDA illegalized Stevia for a reason.”
indeed they did. and if anyone ever asks me what that reason was, i’m pointing them to the dan quinn youtube channel.
If Dan Quinn is willing to give me 10 dollars, I’m willing to take an hour out of my day and blend Stevia with water. Also, he must provide the Stevia and the water (I’m thinking Voss).
Does anyone know where I can get a swizzle stick flute?
2:05 “go fuck yourself, my friend” lolz
“Stevia is something that you have absolutely no idea about. It’s a healthy sugar. Healthy. As in, women could eat chocolate sweetened with Stevia, not get fat, have their bodies detoxed as it gave them sustained energy all day. That’s a fact. And nearly just as big a miracle to the millions of overweight women around the world as the possibility Stevia splits water into a usable fuel.”
Nearly as big a miracle, Dan? Give yourself some more credit, man – you’ve saved us from both fatties and the energy crisis for just $10!
The king is dead, long live the Celtic Warrior.
I was just about to post the exact same quote. I don’t understand what he’s arguing for. That Einstein should have fed women chocolate?
I PUT WATER IN A BLENDER AND I SIMULTANEOUSLY CURED OBESITY AND SOLVED THE ENERGY CRISIS.
Here’s another one
This man is obsessed with soup. I don’t understand why soup = alternate energy.
“I state that Stevia is the ‘missing link’ for Cold Fission that Einstein couldn’t find. And if he couldn’t find it, no one probably could.” Until Dan Quinn came along? This thing isn’t going to stop until people start Dan Quinn has replaced Chuck Norris in those terrible one liners, is it?
8 minutes in i realized whats going on. he is like a 4 year old on a sugar high. that is just sugar water he is chugging by the gallon. it was inevitable.
Celebrated Insanity THIS IS GOING TO END BADLY.
“I will give you a savage beating, on purpose.”
Awesome.
When Dan Quinn uses heroin, there is no spoon.
Dan Quinn would definitely medal in the Meth Smoking Olympics, no joke.
He has been really slipping lately had an argument with his mother wh o I believe is trying to get him commited, funny vid
So lets me see
He is the maitreys so he is the next coming of Buddah
The White Ali
Soon to be most famous man alive
Also Richest
Has completely revolutionalised foreplay (violin)
I must be missing something, not bad for a man that is considered to be mentally unstable and is not permitted to seek employment.