1. Bet that you won’t enjoy a televised awards show. “But didn’t you like the part where Justin Timberlake sang his new song and it was sepia toned?” Nope. “But didn’t you like the Frank Ocean part?” Nope.
2. Bet that you can be the last one to leave at whatever party you’re attending, armed with even more “bets” you learned from the internet.
3. Bet that you can keep performing these bets even when no one is looking, but also bet that you can definitely try to hold eye contact the longest!
4. Bet that Doug Hutchinson is never going to wear a suit, even if he’s going to his child bride’s music video premiere, and it’s just like, jesus christ, what are you trying to prove here? Just put on a suit, you gross weirdo!
5. Bet that one of your friends can’t tear the dollar you hand them. Fold it up so it’s difficult to tear, but not impossible. And if they tear it just be like, “Oh, c’mon man, why can’t you just be fun? We’re all just trying to have fun here.” And they’ll be so embarrassed.

6. Bet that you can pick up someone’s girlfriend. They’ll probably say, “Uhh, I don’t think so,” and then you can say, “You don’t think I can pick her up?” And then they’ll say, “No, I mean, I just don’t think that’s a good idea.” And you can say, “Why? Because you know I can do it?”
7. Bet that you can get someone’s dog to love you more than it loves the owner.
8. Bet that Jennifer Love Hewitt is just going to keep working, even when you think she’s not going to be able to.
9. Bet that someone’s going to complain if you put on Macklemore.
10. Bet that everyone in the room can’t sit and patiently watch you win all these bets, because you learned them all and you wouldn’t have wasted your time if you knew that everyone was just going to be such a jerk about not wanting to watch you do them, and you just figured that it would be fun, and it’s fine, it’s just you wish you hadn’t wasted your time and you wish that people would give you the same attention that you always give them and their stuff.

(Via LaughingSquid.)

Comments (12)
  1. I bet Courtney Stodden is going to do something disgusting sometime soon.

    • Looking at those no-suit premier photos, I became super glad that both Courtney and Doug are off the market. I have decided to view all their future photo shoots and PR stunts as a reassuring public service message: “Attention, Citizens! You may remain calm and secure! These two persons remain romantically unavailable; please carry on without worry!” So, thanks, videogum, for reporting on them: you are like a van rolling down my street blaring this from speakers.

      • Oof those pictures! I can’t be the only one worried about how her dad seemed way too friendly with her body and on-the-mouth kissing?? This girl makes me want to cry, seriously. I want to take her home and give her a non-sexual bath and a big hug and tell her everything will be OK, and then help her enroll in college and give her a haircut.

        • Right? But the second you turned your back to hide your tears, she would be escaping from the bath, out the window, wearing nothing but suds, calling to someone nearby with a phone, “Yoo-hoo! Over here! Turn on the camera and make me more famous!”

  2. I 1000% (not a typo) love that Doug’s gross premiere t-shirt is iron-on-transfer shiny. Spring for the Customink, Doug! It’s got a very user-friendly interface and spits out a wonderful, professional-grade product!!

  3. I mean, that drink bet with the card is just rude. Like, who is going to clean up after that? Drinks are expensive, buy me a new drink.

  4. Bet that you liked Prince announcing Record of the year and bet that Gotye and Kimbra seemed wayyyy more stoked that Prince said he liked their song than actually winning the Grammy, like maybe Prince should give every award, but only to things that he likes, because it would be the BIGGEST honor for Prince to say that he likes the way you do anything?

  5. That poor beleaguered friend at the end of the video.

  6. I picture a Paul-Masson-wine-era Orson Welles performing every single one of these tricks at a single party.

  7. #7 happens to me a lot. It’s kind of the best, but also super awkward when I’m trying to befriend their people. Within the week, two different puppies tried to follow me home after I played with them and didn’t want to be with their people.

  8. til I looked at the receipt four $5905, I accept …that…my sister had been realie bringing in money in their spare time at their computer.. there best friend started doing this 4 only 20 months and resantly repaid the dept on there cottage and bought a gorgeous Renault 5. this is where I went………… BIT40.ℂOℳ

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.