Just thought I’d pass along this message from our good, totally normal and chill buddy Jared Leto. Are you albino? Do you know anyone who is? Please tell them about Jared Leto’s video! Remember: Every albino you can send his way helps! Just have them call 1-800-JARED-LETO-YUCK-THEWORST-SERIOUSLY and wait for the beep. As soon as they hear the beep have them go outside and dig a hole in their front yard. Did Jared Leto appear in the hole? If not, tell your albino friend that they have to dig a deeper hole, separate from the first. The first hole is ruined. As soon as Jared Leto appears in the second hole they have to shout his name 2x. His head will inflate — do not worry! — and cheek bones will become more pronounced. Once his head inflates to the size of a hot air balloon you (or your friend) will climb into his arms (should be clasped tight for safety) and he will fly you to the music video shoot. You will recognize it as the video shoot from all of the albinos (LOTS) that will be there. Pop the Jared Leto balloon and get to work. Thanks! Ugh! This fucking guy! (Via Uproxx.)

Comments (19)
  1. Videogum everywhere mission: Add him to your gchat contact list and ask him where he gets his ideas.

  2. Jared Leto should have a video for his stupid band that is just a montage of movie and TV scenes of Claire Danes crying.

  3. Yo, is this racist?

  4. Calling cumberbatch!

  5. Kelly only hates Jared Leto because she’s super embarassed.

  6. “Musicvideocasting2013@gmail.com” sounds like an email address they would use in an SUV episode about a teenage girl who was found raped and murdered after going on an audition she found out about online: “The victim responded to an ad placed by a ‘musicvideocasting2013@gmail.com’.”

  7. I honestly don’t know if this is supider if it is fake or if it is real. email: huhcity2013@gmail.com to lodge your vote!

  8. I’m actually watching My So-Called Life this very second because I’m very adult & well-adjusted & have zero lingering regrets about the way I spent my own teenage years and now I turn on my laptop and now here’s an article about Jordan GD Catalano on my screen apparently wanting me to make my entire life about him. I half-expected this from Leto, Kelly, but I never expected it from you.

  9. I wonder if that albino from “Foul Play” is still alive. Or if he was really an albino. That movie was my introduction to albinos. Also my introduction to: Barry Malinlow, catholicsim, opera of any sort and kinky sex. It also may be the reason I became a librarian.

  10. Don’t worry, Jared is totally doing fine.

  11. He’s not just looking for albinos! Also “raver kids with lights tricks or who can dance.” Good music video or greatest music video?
    I enjoyed Joe Mande’s follow-up casting tweets …

  12. The White Witch is not a true albino, if I understand the term, but she is very pale and this opportunity could provide her with a more rewarding outlet for her energies than the domination of worlds.

    Hashtag whitewitchslam. Hashtag getbackinthekitchenalbino.

    I fear I am not doing this right….

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