Yesterday we reported (JOURNALISM BY JOURNALISTS) that Leonardo DiCaprio has reconvened the Pussy Posse (gross, sorry) but now with a whole new cast of characters. Goodbye David Blaine. Hello Bradley Cooper! Gerard Butler! Jonah Hill! Mel Gibson!? The boys are currently in Miami doing what they do best: pussy. (Sorry. Just the facts, ma’am!) Most recently, some members of the Pussy Posse (gross, sorry) were spotted swimming in the ocean with a topless woman while they themselves were wearing t-shirts and then they gave each other a cool high-five. VERY COOL PAIR OF BOYS RIGHT HERE. The ladies are so moist now with sex excitement. Swimming in the ocean with your t-shirt on is Seduction 101. It’s mystique. Now the ladies are dying to see what you got under there. SHOW ME SHOW ME PLEASE I’M DYING TO SEE! (That is a lady saying that.) And when the two boys high five all the ladies are like, holy crap, I’ve always wanted to date a Fonzie type and this is my real chance. (All women secretly harbor a Fonzie fantasy, or a Fontazie if you will. FUN FACT: Fonzie always swam in the ocean wearing his leather jacket.) Jonah was probably just thanking Leo for inviting him to be a fledgling member of the new Pussy Posse (gross, sorry) and Leo was like no problem my dude and Jonah was like up top and Leo was like that’s OK and Jonah was like don’t leave me hanging and Leo was like ugh fine and Jonah was like we are bout to get so much puss-ay because that’s how he says that.

Comments (29)
  1. “Cutting Edge Journalism means never having to apologize for saying ‘Pussy Posse.’” -Fox News

  2. This one ALMOST made me forget about the Gary Busey Hobbit video.

  3. The Wang Gang would NEVER allow their targets to wear t-shirts in the ocean. Or at all. Shirts, no service.

  4. They’re wearing shirts in the water like overweight pre-teen boys and young girls who are not comfortable with their bodies!

  5. They’re wearing shirts in the water like overweight pre-teen boys and young girls who are not comfortable with their bodies!

  6. (Not pictured: Pussy)

  7. “If you want to swim in the ocean with your Pussy Posse bro, while at the same time attracting babes to your Pussy Posse, you must wear deep-V tees.” – The Pick-up Artist

  8. I refuse to believe that Leonardo DiCaprio swims with a shirt on. He is a grown man and an international sex symbol. This has to be some kind of ill-conceived prank. Speaking of which, have we accounted for Clooney’s whereabouts the last couple of days?

    • Mama goose is just trying to make Jonah feel comfortable. Pussy Posse look after their own.

    • Sunburn is no joke.

    • A lot of Leo’s “sex symbol” status has to be trading on goodwill from his mid-twenties physique though, right? I mean, look at how fat his face is now; that’s liquor bloat, and liquor bloat = gut. Maybe he’s trying to keep his enormous gut a secret until he finally wins an Oscar, at which point he will run onstage and rip off his man girdle while he cackles maniacally.

  9. In the next frame, Jonah Hill says, “I’ll never let go,” and Leo drowns him in the ocean.

  10. Oh sure, you apologize for the gratuitous use of pussy possee (sorry, gross) but not for using the word, “moist?” Messed up.

  11. Kelly, Gabe has set you a nearly impossible task for the Animal Videos post today – somehow, you need to compile a collection so cute that it is able to erase this from our minds.
    Are you up to it? Are the cute animals?

  12. This is grosser than an infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of typewriters typing ‘moist’ for infinity (and that is gross, just trust me)

  13. T-shirts? Gentlemen, don’t be ashamed. You gotta be comfortable with whatever you have.

  14. If I knew how to do gifs like all you younguns on here, I’d do one with a big crazy cartoony shark in the background of this picture.

  15. Is Mel Gibson our generation’s Harmony Korine in this case?

  16. Laugh all you want, they’re just being mindful of their delicate complexions and family history of melanoma.

  17. Really disappointed with the lack of Pussy Posse cat pics and gifs in here.

  18. “Jonah, get out here! Underwater mermaid BJ’s!”

    PUSSY POSSE GO!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.