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It was pretty hard when the original Pussy Posse (gross, sorry) broke up (Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire, Q-Tip, Harmony Korine, and David Blaine, according to this source. Ladies, please verify). But when God closes a Pussy Posse (gross, sorry) he opens a Pussy Posse (gross, sorry) with Jonah Hill now. It is being reported that Leonardo DiCaprio is getting the boys back together (cc @DougEllin) and they hit up Miami this weekend for some staring at babes from balconies and also for some clubbin’! From PageSix:
Jonah Hill and Gerard Butler made it rain, literally, at Miami club Story on Friday. The pair — along with Leonardo DiCaprio, Mel Gibson and Bradley Cooper — rolled in with three guards, spies said, and then grabbed a 4-foot water gun in the DJ booth to “take turns shooting water over the dance floor” as Erick Morillo spun. The gang of five stars has been spotted together hitting venues in Miami, including Villa Azur, co-owned by Halle Berry’s fiancé, Olivier Martinez. On Saturday, Berry and Martinez even joined Hill and Butler’s dude posse, and they all hit LIV at Fontainebleau, where a spy says Berry tried to convince Martinez to join her on the dance floor, and finally gave up.
What a night to remember that must have been! Gerard Butler AND Jonah Hill “making it rain” in a night club with Mel Gibson also hanging out and Halle Berry’s boyfriend ignoring her and also GUARDS. So fun. Everyone got it so wet, sorry, guys, I don’t know how to talk about this story without feeling the need to constantly apologize but also WE CAN’T NOT TALK ABOUT THIS STORY. The boys are back!!!!! (Speaking of boys, have you been reading the Entourage Movie Tumblr? Do.) Leo’s motto is: “If me and my friends don’t get fucked soon, I’m going to complain.” Who can’t relate to friendship and finding true love? Life is magic. Enjoy it. (R.I.P. David Blaine–Pusse Posse 2000.)
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So did you all know that vaginas are self sealing? I just found that out reading this story. I’d contact a medical professional, but you know, it’s probably better this way.
Yup. Shut down til further notice…
Mine grew teeth.
mine formed its own chastity belt.
Mine is using my stomach as a shield.
So we’re just letting Harmony be a boy’s name now? Really?
Including Harmony Korine in this “posse” is an enigma. Is he there to paste bacon to a wall or is he ironically there?
We’ve never needed this photo more:
Whaddya know! Completely cured!
It’s the Fanny Friends!
(gross, sorry)- Gabe when he has to report on this.
“Has to”
Why does it look like Cumberbatch doesn’t have any teeth? Is it the angle? I’m worried about his dental care now.
I want to read about the female equivalent of this. What would they be called? The Pee-Pee Posse? (Nah, that would just be girls who run around looking for Hugh Jackman.) (Don’t want to think about what “they made it rain, literally” would mean for this group.) (This comment is so gross but still not as gross as the Pussy Posse.)
The weiner wranglers?
I’ve got it! The Wang Gang!
The Cock Coven?
Ooo. Mysterious!
The Bone Collectors.
The Dick Chicks?
The Dong Dudettes?
That sounds like it has something to do with Dick Cheney.
lol
COCK ARMY
THE PENIS PATROL, OKAY I’M DONE
Cock Squad
Cockster Squad
The Peen Queens
Dicksie Chicks
The Dick Clique
THIS.
The Plas-Dicks. Get it? Like the Plastics from Mean Girls?
If we’re not being hetero-normative, it’s PUSSY POSSE.
The Peen Berets
The Schlong Throng
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So is your friend gonna make it rain or what?
An Extremely Short Open Letter to Jonah Hill
You do know that Mel Gibson, among his other “eccentricties”, is an anti-Semite?
Sincerely
noclevername
“A spy tells us, ‘It was all fun and games until Bradley got Mel’s copy of Protocols of Zion wet.’”
The best part of this story is the age appropriateness of the described behavior.
I feel so embarrassed, like they’re all my dads. Like as a society we should not be letting a bunch of dads behave this way.
I’d like to think that spies have better things to do than follow Jonah Hill around. But maybe they know something I do not…
Also how sad would it be to graduate from spy school and get the Jonah Hill sleeper cell detail when your friend LBT gets the Swinton detail? I mean just because she spent 1/4 of her life tracking down Tilda doesn’t mean that NOT TRACKING DOWN Tilda automatically puts you with Hill. Ugh. I’d ask for a new assignment, especially because Alcide seems pretty suspicious… We really should be keeping an eye on him, if only for national security.
I’ll devote my spy time to Benedict Cumberbatch. He’s obviously working on a plot to kill all the women….I’ll even take one for the team, if needs be. That’s how much I love my country.
*Ahem* I believe I have proven that I have that assignment covered. You may have Matthew Broderick or something, I don’t care.
To try to one up me AND then offer Matthew Broderick?!? Tsk tsk, Gobblegirl. I thought Canadians were supposed to be friendly.
That’s what you get for not respecting the pecking order of the Agency, rookie. Stay off my beat.
Damn. You monsters are a strict bunch.
Keep complaining and you get Bill Pullman.
I’ll be good.
PUSSY POSSE
“He’s the Sultan of Twat! The King of Smash! The Colossus of Clit! The Great Clambino!”
You linked me to an article, I read that article, and it contained that sentence. You have to live with that now.