Grab your tinfoil hats! Grab your iPhone 5 chargers because of course they had to change them so now whenever you go over a friend’s house and your phone dies you have to be like, “Does anyone have a charger” and then sheepishly add, “for an iPhone 5?” and then no one has one anyway! Grab your long underwear and a few pairs of your short underwear, because who knows what the temperature will be wherever we end up! Grab your favorite book and your favorite record and then throw that shit in the garbage, we don’t have room for it, and GTFO BECAUSE JELLY PODS HAVE BEEN DISCOVERED IN THE DESERT!!!!! From Yahoo News:

“We were taking photos around the area and we just…. I mean, how could you miss this?” said Geradine Vargas, who found the marble-like spheres while walking with her husband. “It was just like glittering in the sun. It’s just one of those things that you’ve never seen before.”

Could they be Orbeez, or perhaps those jelly Deco Beads you put in with your flowers? Possibly, but why would someone drive all the way out into the desert to dump them there? Apparently, it could be some kind of fungal growth, however that’s the weirdest fungus I’ve ever seen.

Possibly, but why check when Occam’s razor suggests that ALLLIEEEEEENNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

Will we ever find out what these mysterious pods are? Will we investigate any further than just taking the word of this lady’s friend and then a botanist who didn’t even see the pods himself? Will we ask someone at Lowes if he or she knows in what aisle we find the things we put in with the plants that water them while you’re on vacation, and see if this is them? Will we ask our child if maybe it is Orbeez? Hopefully the world will find out before it is too late. (Via UniqueDaily.)

Comments (24)
  1. I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly sphere.

  2. If it is some sort of alien life form, I bet it’ll respond real good to being poked with a stick.

  3. Where are the peanut butter spheres? Closer to the chocolate spheres?

  4. Definitely aliens. I remember when this happened in The War of the Worlds by H.G. Welch’s

  5. Don’t you hate the one guy on Top Chef Middle of Nowhere who ALWAYS resorts to molecular gastronomy?

  6. Worst case scenario: These are the eggs of a giant mutant frog or spider.

    Best case scenario: That’s pure, unadulterated Splenda.

  7. That was me. I dropped my grape chia seed kombucha.

    Sorry for confusing everyone!

  8. My best friend from college and I decided to spend a long weekend in Calico, California a few years back so that we could watch a Civil War reenactment in an old silver mining town because it was too weird to not do. If you don’t know, Calico is in the middle of nowhere, halfway between L.A. and Las Vegas. We stayed outside of Barstow one night and were having dinner at some odd little cafe. She asked the waitress if there were any good places to dump a body and the waitress said (with a totally straight face)… “eh, anywhere outside of city limits should work.”

    My guess is the people doing creepy genetic experiments at U of Arizona were given similar advice.

  9. In senior year of high school during our “short story” unit our teacher introduced us to the “list” as a literary device. I could not for the life of me figure out what the study of lists, or putting in a list could possibly add to a story. (I was bad at writing fiction) Kelly, I love your lists. Sure there have been some great lists in literature that have clued me in to some degree, but I love your lists. They are some some of the finest listcraft I’ve run across.

  10. I’m no expert, but that looks EXACTLY like the kind of biochemical residue that would be left as exhaust by a giant alien starcruiser fueled by Dr. Scholl’s inserts.

  11. ptil I saw the paycheck which was of $4317, I didnt believe …that…my mother in law was realie erning money part-time on-line.. there uncle started doing this for under 1 year and a short time ago cleared the dept on there house and bought a great new BMW. I went here, ,……….. BIT40.ℂOM

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