pistachios

I can’t believe it’s been almost 24 hours since the Purple Birds beat the Red Numbers in the big game and we haven’t even talked about THE ADS yet!!! THE ADS!!! Was it just me, or was this year the most snooziest of all the years? When that one ad came on for farms with some old man showing his iPhoto slideshow I said “Well, the weird thing is THIS is the best ad of the night,” because it was. Everything was so boring and/or racist. Apparently all of the beer in the world is black now? Sure. (Speaking of: what was that one black beer ad with a cartoon frog singing Cee-Lo songs or something? Because he was going to have sex with the bottle? Do we all live in Germany now?) The real takeaway from last night was that you should never raise an animal and love it like a true friend, because eventually you will just have to sell it to Budweiser. YIKES. Oh wait, what am I even talking about, last night was the premiere of the new Go Daddy ad where the ugly nerd kissed the hot babe with tongue! WHAT A NIGHT TO REMEMBER I AM JUST KIDDING IT WAS THE WORST. But, so, OK, fine, what was your favorite company? As required by law, everyone had to make at least one Super Bowl influenced purchase today, so what was it? A truck? A bag of pistachios (aka outdated pop referenceios)? Axe body spray? (Fictionalization.) THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT AMERICAN PEOPLE CONTINUE TO FEEL CONFIDENT IN BUYING THINGS OTHERWISE OUR EXPLOITATIVE CAPITALIST SYSTEM OF FREE MARKET SUBJUGATION OF THE THIRD WORLD ALL GOES BYE BYE! So, like, Doritos? Coke? Tell me what you buy!!!! (May sell personal information to third party advertisers.)

Comments (64)
  1. I just bought an entire pallet of Budweiser’s new Eyes Wide Shut beer.

    • I’m kind of wondering who they’re trying to market that to. It can’t be the craft beer community. I spend some time with people in the craft beer community and they do NOT look like the people in that commercial. And if it’s to people who want to get drunk faster (ooh, it’s 6% ABV!), umm, that’s what shots are for. Also drugs.

      • I was impressed with the Synergy on display between Budweiser and Taco Bell/Burger King #Clydesdales

      • It hit that sweet spot of marketing fail, where every target group is thinking “this can’t be about us!?”. Craft beer folks were hashtagging “hipster beer” after each one of these commercials, and I was in a room with my hipster and non-hipster friends and they were laughing and making Stanley Kubrick jokes.

        …and we all know Beck’s nailed the black demo with their Blackstreet singing koi fish, soooo….what’s up Budweiser?

  2. Always nice to be reminded that the face of intelligence is male.

  3. I liked the Oreo’s (library whispering) ad, however, I don’t see how anyone could think the cookie is the best part of an Oreo. There’s a reason why they came out with double-stuf cream Oreos and not double-stuf cookie Oreos. CREAMS 4EVA.

  4. I have no opinion because instead of watching the Super Bowl I watched four episodes of Dr. Who. Do I get deported now?

  5. I asked a question on twitter last night but did not get a confirmation from anyone, but at one point last night I walked by the tv at the tail end of what I SWEAR was a commercial for Scientology.

    Did ANYONE see this?

  6. I still think Scientology is a weird flavor for Doritos, but what do I know.

  7. I didn’t pay too close attention to that whole affair, but I did see the Dodge truck farmer ad and I hated it. I called it “dull, nationalistic baloney” for no better reason than to annoy the other people who seemed so enamored by it, but I think I agree with myself. I love farmers and all, but I don’t believe they are like that ad depicted them. And, besides, they’re not going to be the majority of the customers for those shiny pickups. Suburban jerks who like to pretend they’re salt of the earth, and kids of Mosanto execs are.

  8. The kissing noises from the Go Daddy ad made me feel a little queasy, so anything else is my favourite.

  9. In all seriousness, Doritos. It was silly enough (screaming addict goats!!) that I laughed out loud and then could move on with my life, instead of thinking about if my chips were cool or American enough.

    In not so seriousness, GoDaddy…because they must have spent millions on mic’ing that room. So loud!

  10. Hey, guys, I’m selling commemorative plates for a limited time. Let me know if I can put you down for one ($79.99 each).

  11. The extended look at Iron Man 3 that was just RDJ taking his glasses off and taking an extended look into the camera was, uh, interesting. Interesting marketing choice, Disney/Marvel Studios.

    I think all trailers from now should be swedes made by the cast and crew of whatever big budget film they’re releasing.

  12. as aforementioned, my favorite ad was for the city of new orleans and our horrific decaying infrastructure.

  13. I’m Canadian, so I basically watched the same six normal ads over and over again. We did see the pistachio one, and one with Paul Rudd in it that was really terrible and lazy except that it had Paul Rudd (meta ads are boring and dumb!!).

  14. I didn’t watch so I have to ask; was there a Taylor Swift/Diet Coke ad?

  15. til I looked at the paycheck that said $4328, I did not believe …that…my neighbour realie receiving money parttime on-line.. there neighbor started doing this 4 less than and recently paid for the loans on their villa and bourt themselves a Nissan GT-R:. we looked here………. BIT40.ℂOM

  16. The first ad of the Puppy Bowl had puppies buying cars and driving off. I liked that one, but I won’t buy a Subaru because their gas mileage is terrible.

  17. A tribute to Videogum’s Nose for News(TM): The guy from that GoDaddy.com ad has been featured on Videogum before:

    http://videogum.com/286762/extra-extra/news/

  18. I have no need for corporate products now that I’ve joined the Illuminati after getting the secret signals from Beyonce during the halftime show.

  19. The only commercial I noticed was the Star Trek trailer and that sweet sweet Cumberbatch.

  20. The slurping noises in that godaddy ad just about made me hurl.

  21. My favorite company is the company of my friends and family!

    #nerd

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