On last night’s excellent 30 Rock, Jack learned that Elisa, Salma Hayek’s character and “The One,” had a dark secret: she killed her husband and earned the nickname “La Viuda Negra,” or The Black Widow. Also, everyone wore a Slanket, which internet nerds will remember was the original, but totally forgotten first version of the Snuggie. The Slanket people, forgotten by history and people’s money until now, will no doubt take great comfort in their 30 Rock (non) product placement, even if it was implied that the Slanket is filled with farts. Anyway, NBC made a real website for La Viuda Negra, and I translated it with babelfish, and it’s funny!

(Update: there’s a (quite obvious!) English translation button on the site that I missed because of…the site’s poor design, but does it say “tuna”? No, it says “pretty.” So babelfish is weirder and therefore better.):

The Black Widow is Elisa Padriera and she is met by to have killed her husband. She is a very jealous woman. It does not cross. She does not make his anger. She does not watch another woman. You do not speak about another woman. Cradled in the presence of the Black Widow he is better to pretend do not exist in another woman Earth. The Black Widow is very tuna and that is what his makes that so dangerous. When one is the Black Widow is better smile, the smile, but not too much or too much little. She does not touch unless it gives permission him. She does not take anything from her without his permission. Your heart does not forget its love yet all along or but.

Blue on green! (Via The Daily What.)

This episode was full of inside jokes, like: Kenneth says his real name is “Dick Whitman,” which is a name any Mad Men fan will immediately recognize, and we saw how the show used Tracy Morgan’s actual crazy-shirtless-appearance footage as his Tracy Morgan crazy-shirtless-appearance footage. So meta! You can watch the whole thing on Hulu, as always. Salma Hayek is gone for now, but upcoming guests this season include Alan Alda and Mary J. Blige!

Comments (24)
  1. Whit  |   Posted on Apr 24th, 2009 +10

    ? Lemon, isn?t there a slanket somewhere you should be filling with your farts?”

    Salma Hayek gets one funny line on her last 30 rock.
    good riddance

  2. Clear Spot or "Laughing Stock"  |   Posted on Apr 24th, 2009 0

    “All good writing is swimming underwater and holding your breath.” Somebody really good said that…

  3. TC  |   Posted on Apr 24th, 2009 +3

    …or you could just click on the “English” link at the top of the page if you want that page translated.

  4. It was a great episode, and I really don’t think Salma Hayek is that bad.
    Why is Alec Baldwin so oddly sexy to me?

  5. “Elissa has a secret and my current theory is that she’s the mother of those Michael Jackson kids!”

  6. What was and where is the Sheinhardt Wig website where people only posted penises?

    And “How are you so quiet when your parades are so loud?!!”
    I love you 30 Rock.

  7. “when i eat strawberries my throat shuts up faster than a girl in math class”

    oh kenneth

  8. zik  |   Posted on Apr 24th, 2009 -5

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  9. “What’s up Ms. Liz Lemon Cool J”

  10. Liz Lemon Cool J.

  11. The Battlestar Galactica reference and the fact that Salma Hayek was wearing a shirt that said “What the Frak!?” is what made the episode so awesome.

  12. Erin  |   Posted on Apr 24th, 2009 0

    I actually clapped my hands and shrieked at the Mad Men reference. It was so perfect and unexpected.

    • I loved that reference too! Sadly, I was the only member at the 30 Rock view party who got it. In summer, watch Mad Men people. What else to do when Lost is gone?

  13. I loved the fact that this episode felt so ensemble. Some this season have been a little too Liz-heavy or Jack-heavy. Nothing wrong with it, I guess, but I enjoy the episodes where everyone gets a few laughs better. On a related note: where’s Josh?

    • Kiki  |   Posted on Apr 25th, 2009 +1

      I, too, want to know where Josh is ? I love that his character is basically Tina Fey telling the world ‘This is what Jimmy Fallon was like on SNL.’

      Slankets rock. And they’re filled with lost Cheerios and puppy farts.

  14. A Battlestar and Mad Men reference in one episode? A show after my heart.

  15. Zachra  |   Posted on Apr 25th, 2009 +4

    I did love Frank’s “FEDORA” hat.

  16. If you think the website has terrible English, you should read it in Spanish. Aye aye aye.

  17. Michael   |   Posted on Apr 26th, 2009 -1

    Real not weird fucked-up Babelfish translation:
    The Black Widow is Elisa Padriera and she’s known for having killed her husband. She’s a very jealous woman. Don’t cross her. Don’t make her mad. Don’t look at other women. Don’t talk about other women. When in the presence of the Black Widow, it’s better to pretend that no other women exist on Earth. The Black Widow is very pretty and that’s what makes her so dangerous. When dealing with the Black Widow, it’s best to smile, but not too much, and not too little. Don’t touch her unless she gives you permission. Don’t drink anything without her permission. Don’t forget about her love in your heart ever, or else.
    And whoever wrote that page had to have been using Babelfish to translate it to Spanish.

  18. Chris  |   Posted on Apr 26th, 2009 0

    ‘Bonito’ when used as a noun is ‘tuna’ – though it’s still being used as an adjective here. Either way, when describing the feminine, it should be ‘bonita’.

    I wonder, does Babelfish think that men can never be ‘pretty’ and always translates ‘bonito’ to Tuna?

  19. Knox  |   Posted on Apr 26th, 2009 +3


    That’s all I have to say.

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