This is a blog. Jason London purposefully pooped in a police car. The law is the law. Here are the details (from Reuters via HuffingtonPost):

  • London was at the Martini Ranch bar in the Phoenix suburb of Scottsdale on Sunday.
  • An unidentified person complained London had sneezed on him.
  • The person asked him to apologize.
  • Instead of apologizing, London punched the person.
  • He was escorted out by bouncers.
  • During that time he hit them.
  • The security guards “defend[ed] themselves” against London.
  • London was charged with assault with intent to injure and disorderly conduct.
  • Because of swelling and bruising around his right eye from the fracas, London was seen by paramedics but “became belligerent and started cursing” at them.
  • While seated in the back of the patrol car on the way to jail, one of the officers saw London “lean to the left and defecate in his pants” after the actor complained about the odor in the vehicle.

If it please the court, let it be shown that we performed our due diligence as a blog in reporting on this “important” “news” story. Let the record also reflect that it is our genuine hope that when the blog powers that be have carried out their legally mandated finger pointing and comment baiting that Jason London gets the help that he clearly needs. As to the posting of an archival photo of the defendant rather than the mug shot that is going around, we humbly submit ourselves to being held in contempt as it should be known that we ARE contemptuous about this. We only hope our children will live to see a blog justice system that actually works. Amen. God bless this mess.

Comments (16)
  1. I admire your restraint in not describing London’s state as “Dazed and/or confused”

  2. I see London, I see France. I see brown-stained underpants.

  3. Come on, London. Even Al Roker knew that you abandon the poop at the scene of the crime. Take off your pants and poop IN the car so someone else has to clean it up.

  4. “wtf, whyd u tag me in this” – Jeremy London

  5. That promotional photo Gabe selected makes me think that he and Shia LaBeouf should hang out and be greasy together. That’s not his mug shot or a candid. That’s a professional photo that was taken on purpose, chosen at will used to promote his celebrity, and he STILL looks like a gross weed dealer/yoga instructor/self-described Buddhist/7th year senior at a hippie college in the woods.

  6. the most roundabout sneeze shart to ever happen

  7. Is it sad that I didn’t know there were twin London actors?

    • I don’t think so. I can never seem to remember which one is which. Is that the one that’s in Mallrats or Dazed and Confused? Or, is that the same one? And then I think, it really doesn’t matter and I should spend time thinking about more important things.

  8. #NeverTrustAFart

  9. good for him

  10. Hey man, you got a wet nap? …It’d be a lot cooler if you did.

  11. I am beyond grateful for not only this important news story, but also, ALL the news that has been covered this week. Without Videogum I would have had NO knowledge of the Russel Brand yoga walkout, or the curious situation where Bradley Cooper was only recognized by his bare torso, NOT his face, and all the lives that were almost lost due to the beauty and majesty of this easily identifiable chest. I read no papers or books and only watch netflix. The ONLY other news I get besides videogum is from FilmDrunk and Morning Glow (the only three blogs that matter in America, if not the world), so I really count on Videogum to cover everything else of value that does not fit into those narrow (but wonderful) special interest blogs. I have really seen a bump up in your reporting lately, and for that I am so appreciative as i really want to be the kind of person that not only knows about the world but can also speak about it intelligently. I am so happy now be abreast, not just of all the news fit to write about, but also, about how Kelly and Gabe FEEL about the news, which is really the most critical thing. To think I might have missed the extrordinary news about diet coke and how it proves, beyond a shadow of all doubt, that the decline of western civilization is almost complete, and irreversible. Thank you for keeping me a cosmopolitan sophisticated, and CURRENT citizen of the world. I heart videogum. No sarcasmo

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