I hate to open this week’s Petting Zoo on a bad note. As you know, the reason we come to Petting Zoo every week is to escape life’s bad notes, and I apologize for taking that away from us for now, but you have to understand that sometimes life gets in the way. Today the person who has stepped in the way of our Petting Zoo happiness is a puppy burgalor who has stolen a few puppies from a Las Vegas kennel of some sort, I don’t know what it is, it’s named Prince and Princess Puppies & Boutique so your guess is as good as mine, including THE PUPPY OF CRISS ANGEL. Noooo! MINDSAD! MINDSAD! (Rather than Mindfreak.) If you have any information about the puppy burglary, that must be because you are the burgalor or an accomplice and you should take yourself to jail immediately. Everyone else: Please just hope that Criss Angel’s puppy is returned, and that the puppy is not too traumatized by being stolen OR by being the puppy of Criss Angel. Poor little sweeties! Poor little sweetie Criss Angel! Anyway, not that that little bit of sad news we HAD to cover is out of the way, let’s get to these VIDEEEOOOOOOOOS!

10. Lizard On Lizard

9. Cat Knocks Down Water Bottles

8. Sweet Baby Rhino

7. “Beatboxing Goat”

6. Disciplined Pugs

5. Kitten Meets Hedgehog

4. Scottie Pinwheel

3. Rescued Fox Becomes Friends With Dogs At Animal Shelter

2. Sweet Little Train Passenger

1. Arctic Monkey

Man, this was a tough week! Normally figuring out where videos go on the list is fairly easy, but today I don’t know! I feel like this list could have been arranged in a completely different way and still have made sense! CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF OUR WINNERS! (Not to take away from our number one. You are still number one in my heart, for now.) Thank you for bringing joy into our lives, and thank you for being such dumb-dumbs.

[EDIT: IN A LAST MINUTE UPSET, THE MONKEY HAS TAKEN FIRST PLACE! YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN IN #THEZOO!]

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Comments (32)
  1. “Sweet Baby Rhino!” is going to be my new phrase to express surprise.

  2. The kitten and hedgehog were ROBBED!

  3. That Russian monkey was robbed of his rightful number one ranking!!! However, I will concede there was a tight competition this week, as evidenced by the kitten and the hedgehog being as low as number 5.

  4. How about some love for those disciplined pugs?

    I guess I can provide some on my own. I LOVE THE DISCIPLINED PUGS!

  5. In The Dark Knight when Alfred gives his “some men just want to watch the world burn” speech, he was clearly referring to PUPPY BURGLARS. Because what even.

  6. What makes the Sweet Little Train Passenger even sweeter is that he appears to be French or French Canadian! It’s as precious as Amelie! Mon dieu!

    • Please explain to me what is sweet about French Canadians? Even my French Canadian friend hates them.

      • I just didn’t want to make assumptions about what kind of French it was.

        • If it had time to talk, you’d know if it was French Canadian by the way it sounded awful and gutteral.

          • I speak German and think it’s pretty, so probably I’m the last person to judge a language as sounding awful and gutteral. Das stimmt!

          • But German is meant to be gutteral, so it is great. I have no objection to German. Besides, I might start learning it…

            Quebecois though… I have a friend who while visiting France, saw a French person stop a Quebecois mid-sentence, and ask them to speak English instead of their version of French.

          • I would say Quebecois is just fine with me. It’s more approachable and working class. This is a very sensitive topic, my friend.

          • Approachable and working class does not in any way describe the Quebecois who terrorize waitstaff here.

            I will continue to enjoy doing things like sitting, eating lunch with my Quebecois friend, watching a Quebecois struggle to park properly, give up, stare at their car taking up two spaces in a packed parking lot, and walk away.

          • Booo pt! I expected better of you :(

          • People really should keep their expectations of me low. But really, Quebecois in Burlington are like every terrible example of awful American tourists in other countries. Except instead of being fat and wearing cargo shorts, they are not skinny, yet wearing absurdly tight, absurdly expensive t-shirts.

    • It’s a lesser-known Gondry film, but just as charming.

  7. The owners of the arctic monkey had the forethought and consideration to make him a tail cozy er…butt scarf… er tail mitten.

  8. First person to post a picture of the horrified looking monkey who Iran launched into space wins all the downvotes! Or something.

  9. I just met a rescued beagle puppy. He was very calm and I kind of want to steal him from his hipster owner, if only because the guy gave the pup a super annoying, probably ironic name. Also, my dog hasn’t stopped whining and sighing heavily since we met this little dude, so I’m pretty sure he wants me to steal him too. Also, can you imagine the life that poor little Yorkie would have? Having to wear all those awful Criss Angel accessories? Hanging out with doves and weirdos at the Luxor? Let’s hope he’s in a better place, like on a Segway with GOB.

    Also, Criss Angel is a dick for buying a dog.

  10. The fox and dog video reminds me of The Fox and The Hound, which makes me cry.

    You can never be together! You’re just too different!

  11. It’s impossible for me to tell you how much I need this right at this moment. Scottie pinwheel is the only thing that is getting me thru this day without crying.

  12. No. Number 10, just no. Animals licking is never cute.

    I watched Beatboxing Goat more than once so he is number one in my heart, always. Although, “kitten and hedgehog” is melting this grinch heart of mine.

  13. the fox video was a little too CHAOS REIGNS for me

  14. I cannot believe that Cat Knocking Down Water Bottles only made it to #9! That cat got robbed! Are you kidding me? That cat is the best!

    I expected more out of the kitten and hedgehog video. I question their “friendship.”

    #9?! Ugh. I’m outta here.

  15. I wish that guinea pig train video was longer. Just delightful.

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