It’s Fabio as a pirate! “No one wishes to ravish you!”

“What is that stench?” Long lingering shots of the wench devouring a piece of chicken get The Dread Pirate Fabio hot, apparently. Who knew the pirate theme song was the generic wedding classic Pachelbel’s Canon? (Via Everything Is Terrible.)

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Comments (8)
  1. i can’t believe its not chicken!


  2. My new favourite pick up line: “Do you play chess?”. How did I not think of that? Gets ‘em every time!

  3. I’m so glad someone dug this up. Some friends in high school used to have a VHS copy of this movie and we used to get drunk and watch it and crack up, I wish I could find it again, it’s mysteriously absent from his IMDB profile. It’s a possibley made for TV movie that is a series of vignettes created by a romance writer who appears in interstitial segments between the “steamy” romance stories. She also looks like she smells like morning breath. She’s trying to write he next great romance novel and Fabio stars in all of them. There’s 3 different stories if I remember right.

    There’s a scene in the second austin powers that directly references this pirate vignette where he and a lovely lady who washes ashore play chess. I’m pretty sure only myself and 45 year old cat ladies who read romance novels got the reference.

  4. “No one wishes to ravish you!” Because we only have sex with men?

    • The guy who picked her up off the beach really did seem like he wanted to ravish her. Fabio, do you even screen these sailors before you let them on your crew?

  5. That is NOT Pachelbel’s Canon.

  6. will  |   Posted on Apr 23rd, 2009 +3

    Oh hell yes, she plays chess. This is some ‘The Room’ caliber shit.

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