After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Benedict Cumberbatch As Julian Assange Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editors’ Choices.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 five flasks from feeling fine | Jan 24th Score:37

Celibate good times, come on! – Goop & the Gang

Posted in: Gwyneth Paltrow Forces Cameron Diaz To Give Up Sex (Normal Friend Stuff)
#4 truckasaurus | Jan 22nd Score:39

“I’m sorry, waiter, could I send this merlot back? I’m afraid I find it crude and distasteful like Ricky Gervais in everything.”

Posted in: This Is Just A Good Way To Describe Wine
#3 The Aura of the H-Man | Jan 22nd Score:40

I also love to show off my Star Trek lunchbox.

Posted in: Cumberbatch Continues Transparent Attack On Female Hearts
#2 huckabeast | Jan 24th Score:41

Trying to imagine a life where going without sex is an act of will instead of a daily reality.

Posted in: Gwyneth Paltrow Forces Cameron Diaz To Give Up Sex (Normal Friend Stuff)
#1 R2D2, Esq. | Jan 23rd Score:42

Check out Goldileaks over here.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It Contest: Benedict Cumberbatch As Julian Assange

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Ugh, all of these comments are honestly so good it's very hard to believe they all came from the comments section of a pop culture blog. You guys are the best. Congrats, have an extra one this weekend! An extra one of whatever you're having and want one more of!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

John Wright | Jan 21st Score:-6

Let me guess. You’re still on AOL and tweet LOL LMAO LOL LOL all day long to your little friends. Juvenile!

Posted in: Fox & Friends Exposes Truth Behind Love For Downton Abbey

[Assoc. Ed. Note: This person was mad because everybody was making fun of Fox News. The commented was not directed at me but I wish it had been because if it were the answer would be yes.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

  saturnian | Jan 23rd Score:47

“Don’t worry man, the ladies will forget about it in time”

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It Contest: Benedict Cumberbatch As Julian Assange

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, saturnian! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice (Mary)

  flanny | Jan 22nd Score:11

Since there was a mild mention of Mark Wahlberg here, I want to let everyone know that I did indeed go to Wahlburgers this weekend, and it was ever so delicious. Still highly recommended, even though we didn’t have any Wahlberg sightings.

Posted in: Here Are Some Morning Links!

[Assoc. Ed. Note: We had a big comments-section conversation about Wahlburgers last week, so over the weekend flanny actually WENT to Wahlburgers and then reported back. Monster dedication, you guys. FLANNY YOU DESERVE THIS WIN, CONGRATS TO YOU!!!]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice (Kelly)

  pickpocket | Jan 22nd Score:12

“This is our finest Rob Schneider.”

Posted in: This Is Just A Good Way To Describe Wine

[Assoc. Ed. Note: This made me laugh a lot because the other jokes like this in the comment section of this post actually described the imaginary wines and then said which actor those descriptive traits fit (see truckasaurus's wonderful top five comment), but this one just got right to it. “This is our finest Rob Schneider.” Hahahaha. I honestly cannot read it without laughing. “This is our finest Rob Schneider.”]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

  saturnian | Jan 24th Score:14

“Despite all my rage, I am still just a baby in a cage” – Billy Corgan

Posted in: The Baby Cage

[Ed. Note: Everyone who knows me knows I'm a lifelong sucker for "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" references.]

Comments (34)
  1. Back in the ball! Though I’m pretty sure my “tailored tinker” joke would have won if I’d thought of it in time. Happy weekend, everyone!

  2. And I thought getting snubbed by the Golden Globes hurt…

  3. My first caption contest AND my first editor’s choice? Is this really happening?

  4. my new schedule has put me at odds with actively checking in on videogum and as a result i don’t get to witness a lot of posts and comments as they happen in real time but even reading the monster’s ball entires just now made me smile quite a bit even while they were devoid of context i still got them and by golly i agree with kelly that they are good

  5. Congratulations everyone! Especially saturnian – you really cleaned up!

    Weekend weekend it’s the weekend hip hip hip hooray hoorah!

  6. Congratulations, you guys! This week was a lot of fun, as usual. Hope you all have a great weekend! I found out that I get to come into work an hour later than usual because of wintry weather we had earlier today. MORE SLEEP!

  7. Happy weekend everyWON! congrats to the BAllerZ!!!

  8. An illustration of my forthcoming weekend:

  9. Happy weekend guys!! I’m staying indoors, snuggling my cat, and drinking way too much! Woohoo!

  10. Has anyone looked into the possibility of printout certificates or ribbons for Monsters’ Ball winners? They could be real conversation starters at the bars!

  11. Thanks Mary! Getting a Ball shout-out made eating that delicious burger totally worth it. (I also tried to find a gif of a Walhberg dancing. No dice.)

    Also, I think the lowest rated comment was a response to me! My first troll! I feel totally honored.

    Have a great weekend, guys!!! I’m volunteering at 8am tomorrow and Sunday, so I’m already in my PJs and planning on going to bed early!! This gif is shockingly accurate.

  12. I like to sing, “despite advanced age I am still just a rat in a cage”

  13. Man Goes For Hysterectomy, God’s Unwanted Gift.
    http://bit.ly/N50fUq

  14. i made my first ball!

    but i missed it yesterday!

    because i had a date that started at lunch and didn’t end!

    Hope everyone is enjoying their weekends!

  15. You guys! I made the ball and also got a shout-out from Kelly?!?! I feel like the happiest truck on the planet!!!

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