Oh, I can remember it like it was just yesterday. It was a rainy day, temperate for the time of month, and I was filled with an odd joy from the moment I awoke. Not that I was an unhappy person normally — no, no, life had treated me just fine and my mood responded accordingly — but there was an unusual spring in my step the cause of which I couldn’t place. I just felt lighter. After breakfast I went to my balloon room, something I’m particularly proud of. Throughout my life I’ve gathered many different balloons from all over the world, and I keep all of them in my balloon room but I never show ANYONE my balloon room because my balloon room is PRIVATE. It is a private room that I like to enjoy privately and I intend to keep it that way. Have I forgone true, human love for my love of balloons, and the privacy that love demands? Some might say so. To those people I say, “Screw off. You have no idea.” Because they just don’t. No one has any damn idea. Anyway, so, I was in my balloon room having a pleasant time, as usual, and the thought struck me — Why haven’t I, the owner of this magnificent collection of balloons that no one will ever be allowed to enjoy because it is mine to enjoy privately, ever purchased a “climb-in” balloon? You’d think I’d have many climb-in balloons at this point! And that is how my journey began.

And this is how my journey ended. Rolling around, slapping the sides of the balloon, and finally popping the balloon. There have been many balloon aficionados featured on the Internet in the past, but none who has known the joy the Universe provided for me on this wonderful day. (Via UniqueDaily.)

Comments (12)
  1. Kudos to him on scoring the BalloonBuffoon.com domain.

  2. This guy must have had really protective parents, or he would have suffocated with his head inside a grocery bag by age 5.

  3. I am not sure whether I am intrigued or terrified by the balloon dresses.

  4. I can’t believe he went with that cube wipe when he could have gone with a star wipe.

  5. You know how Howie Mandel is super afraid of germs? Do you think that’s related to all the blowing up of balloons on his face with his nose in the 80s and then getting boogers on his face? I think about this sometimes.

  6. So this is how George Lucas is spending all that money.

  7. The furries never did come to fully accept or respect the invertibraties, despite their enduring gregariousness, and clear lust for the purest joys of life…

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