OK, team, let’s bring it in. I know some of you have expressed concerns about this job, but let me answer all of your questions right now: if you don’t think you’re up for it, there’s the door. Above all, this business requires confidence, and the last thing we need is a sissy coward bringing down the rest of us hardened criminals. Take a second, decide what kind of man you are. OK, good, I never liked Mr. Blue anyway. Now here is the score: we are going to sag our pants, and we’re going to get away with it. Synchronise your watches. Perfect. Everyone knows the routines, you’ve memorized your back stories and your exit strategies. We’re working on a buddy system, guys. I know a lot of you work alone, and that’s fine, again, there is the door. If you’re on this crew, you have a friend and you hold his hand. Now, pull your pants down a little bit and cinch your belt tight so that your pants really hug your thighs. Phew, I am glad to see that everyone wore underwear today, this is going to be even easier than I had thought. OK, bring it in. On the count of three let’s all do a cheer. “Crime!” on three, you got it? Here we go, fellas. This is it! One last score and then we all go our separate ways and retire on the beach. One, two, three, CRIME!

Dear Snopes, can you really GO TO PRISON FOR THREE YEARS just for wearing your pants a little bit too low on your bottom? Thank you, as always, for telling us the truth, Snopes. (Via HyperVocal.)

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Comments (28)
  1. This is BS – you don’t even go to jail for three years for having sex in public parks (a friend told me).

  2. I really wish the groups that exist to deal with mental health took on much more pressing issues than saggy pants. I really do.

    THANKS A LOT, ERIC CANTOR AND PAUL RYAN AND THE REST OF YOU STUPID FUCKS THAT RUINED OBAMACARE.

  3. Yet it’s still legal to wear “humorous” t-shirts. Go figure.

  4. The only thing that stops a bad guy who sags is a good guy who sags.

  5. Pants on the ground, pants on the ground. Gonna go to jail with your pants on the ground.

  6. Is no one murdering in Massachusetts? Are there no meth labs? Is there no rape in Massachusetts? Maybe sagging pants is the ONLY crime in Massachusetts and the police just need something to do.

    • Hey bucko, sagging pants are a major affront to society. Avoid jail, wise up!

      Failure to admit that I am right about this (and, in general, everything else) is a violation!

      NEW YORK STATE LAW

      S 240.26 Harassment in the second degree.

      A person is guilty of harassment in the second degree when, with
      intent to harass, annoy or alarm another person:

      3. He or she engages in a course of conduct or repeatedly commits acts
      which alarm or seriously annoy such other person and which serve no
      legitimate purpose.

      I REST MY CASE

      (In other words, this is just some stupid interest group’s bad interpretation of the law.)

    • As someone currently in Massachusetts, I can tell you this. Right now it is so cold outside, anyone who is walking around with only thin undies between their skin and the air shouldn’t just be arrested, they should be thrown in an insane asylum, because they must be crazy. #winter

      • I can’t read your comment clearly because it’s so cold up here in Vermont that my eyelids are frozen almost completely shut, but it looks like you were complaining about it being cold in MA.

      • I saw an idiot run past the MFA this morning in a sweatshirt and shorts. It’s cold! Bundle up!

        • When I see people dressed like that I want to yell, “You’re not impressing anyone!!!”

        • artdork, don’t you know that Northeastern students live around there? And weren’t you, like all of us, carefree and gutsy during your college years? C’mon!

          (That being said, are they nuts?!)

      • I live in Boston (and will be visiting Vermont this weekend) and I think only in the winter do I really want the bus to be jam-packed on my way to work so that I can bask in the body warmth of others.

        Creepy? Maybe. Warm? Yes, it’s so warm and wonderful!

  7. Ugh, Massachusetts, why you doing this? You are a better state than this.

  8. As someone who just got a $256 ticket for not going instantly when the light turned green, I’d say 3 years for saggy pants seems about right. Also, on this scale? For murder, they put you and everyone you ever met on an island made of spiders and force you to kill each other with spoons while the island is hurled deeper and deeper into the frigid void of space. #Constitutional

  9. Whenever I go to Walmart, I ALWAYS see women who are wearing low-cut blouses with their girls hanging down past their belly bottons because they’re not wearing a bra. I’m way more offended at this sight than I am at seeing the top of guys’ underwear.

  10. Sure, this sounds like a good plan, until the pipes back up and the toilets break because you put all the plumbers in jail.

  11. I laughed and laughed until I realized this was in Mass. Oh lordy loo.

  12. Everytime I try to write something pithy or snide about this I just can’t because my angry black man sensors kick into overdirve. Good job Mass. Good job BLACK MENTAL HEALTH ALLIANCE!?!? Congrats at becoming the shit talking old black uncle we never knew we needed. I think some suburban IL town is trying this too….ugh.

    PS – I think Kanye West has shown that “hip-hop style” is not so much sagging jeans. He’s also shown that only the top two tax brackets can now afford “hip-hop style”. Juggalo style perhaps??

  13. a) What’s the cop so worried about? Have you ever seen anyone with their pants in this state of affairs trying to run from the police? 1) comical 2) difficult

    b) Who’s letting the Black Mental Health Alliance group-of people-who-don’t-actually-exist-thingy 1) interpret laws 2) waste grant money on commercials?

    Hey, if you all ain’t got nothin better to do than interpret laws and make commercials, and are all out of crazy black folk in Mass., some other areas of the country got some crazy people from a range of races and ethnicities that you might be able to work on.

  14. Isn’t the GOP full of old white guys with their pants up way too high? In 2 years we’re going to retire “What side of the aisle are you on?” and replace it with “What side of the buckle are you on?”

  15. Eldave, you read my mind on this one (that is a crime btw, space jail for you).

    Lets do one of those equality logic string things…if we can assume from this video that sagging your pants is a crime, then all pants saggers are criminals, okay sure fine. However, if at least some of the point of the police is to catch criminals, I see stopping pants sagging as a little counterintuitive. Let’s encourage XTREME pants sagging! Hey you just stole a purse, or maybe you even shot someone, okay here come the police, now escape! Oh wait, you were XTREME pants sagging with your size 48 pants on your size 29 frame and a belt strapping them to your ankles and your undies in the breeze. You try to run but of course you can barely even shuffle so bam, you fall down, criminal caught!

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