1. A human witch. You’d be scared at first but then she would say, “I’m here to grant you one wish.” And you’d say, “Oh, that is great! I thought you were going to do something scary!” And she would wait for your wish, and once you wished it she would grant it but it wouldn’t turn out exactly the way you intended it to and after you threw her in the garbage you’d think, “I guess she was kind of a bad witch after all.”
2. Jesse from Breaking Bad, and he’d be so handsome even though he was covered in egg goo.
3. The chicken who LAID THE EGG. How’d she do it?!
4. A frying pan. For a second you’d think, “Wait, did this come out of the egg, or did I just have it under the egg because I intended to fry the egg.” And you never really figure it out, but you’re thinking that you probably just had it there the whole time.
5. A bunch of new clothes and they all fit perfectly and are much nicer than clothes you would’ve picked out for yourself.
To be fair, though, another whole egg is fairly surprising as well. This guy is seems very surprised even though he shot the whole thing on video anyway, and why did he shoot a video if he didn’t know that what came out of the egg was going to be surprising? Does he film a video every time he opens an egg in case a surprise comes out? Is his wife’s phone full of egg videos? “Ugh, JUST A YOLK. AGAIN.” “Oh, Steve.” IS THIS VIDEO REAL OR FAKEGG? JK WHO CARES #IWANTTOBELIEVE (Via BuzzFeed.)