One thing I’d like to admit right off the bat is that, although I recapped the first two seasons of Downton Abbey here, I have not been watching the new season, which premiered on American televisions two weeks ago. I just don’t want to, so why don’t you go ahead and sue me about it? I’ll sue you right back, a countersue for being a jerk and not knowing how to MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS ABOUT WHAT I FEEL LIKE WATCHING ON TELEVISION! In any case, though, the fact that I haven’t seen any of the new season probably accounts for how I feel like I’m a little behind on what Stuart Varney talked about on Fox & Friends this morning. I do have a few questions about it — Has Daisy aged at all yet? Has Thomas calmed down and found any peace with himself? What’s up with Bates? Have you figured out yet that the show poses a threat to the left because it depicts wealthy people being nice, and once people start getting the idea that wealthy people can be nice, something something, liberals will finally be defeated? Ahhh, I’ve missed so much!

Legit props to Gretchen Carlson for pointing out that maybe people just like a show, and also for pretending like she thought it was “pronounced” Downtown Abbey for the sake of whatshisname, and then for “seeing” that it was “actually spelled” Downton. Well played, Gretch, you old pro. For the rest of us: NOOOOOO! OUR LIBERAL WEALTH-HATING IDEALS ARE NOT SAFE! ABORT! ABORT! ABORT! (Via Mediaite.)

Comments (24)
  1. Nope. Still part of the left-wing conspiracy. Downton Abbey shows that rich people WERE nice. Oh, kindly land barons, where have you gone?

  2. Downton Abbey: clearly going for the class warfare long-con from the beginning. By their logic, wouldn’t that mean that Breaking Bad exists in order to convince the liberals that Mexicans are actually bad and shouldn’t be allowed in the country?

    And to be fair to these idiots, I am pretty sure every single person on the planet has mistakenly thought it was “Downtown Abbey” the first time they read it.

  3. Yeah, this show’s definitely not about an entrenched privileged class coming to grips with their diminishing status in a rapidly modernizing world. That theme is not present, so don’t even try to look for it or to draw parallels with the increasingly desperate grasping of Fox News and the far political right in general. Don’t try, because you will fail.

  4. I’m still confused as to wethere or not we’re supposed to like or dislike Dan Stevens now? I can’t even comment on class warfare.

  5. That’s certainly one way to interpret the situation.

  6. I could only stand to listen to that guy for ten seconds, then I popped over to the White House website to start a petition to have him deported.

  7. Downton offers a stark contrast between the kindness and sense of responsibility in the upper classes then and the mean spirited selfishness exhibited by the far right now. The comparison is not flattering to the right wing-nuts. Dream on Fox British guy.

  8. Since now I’ve got a go-ahead to pronounce things independently from how they’re spelled, I’m going to start pronouncing Fox News as “Bullshit-sauce.”

  9. clearly they have not seen this entire season yet

  10. They kind of missed the point of the show, huh?

  11. I was always under the impression that American conservatives disliked unearned privilege, or at least didn’t outright worship it. Apparently I’m wrong.

  12. When did TV shows stop being just fun entertainment without any deep political messages? I don’t remember Herman Munster ever having anything profoundly meaningful to say.

  13. So, Gretchen Carlson (The Rhode’s Trust’s Greatest Shame®) deserves “legit props”? Because, on this one occasion, the Gretch was somewhat less moronic than her ever-doltish male cohosts? Well, okay.

  14. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • Hah, bro, it’s hilarious to imagine you sitting around reading a bunch of comments that you find juvenile. What a pathetic waste of time!

      It’s like I’m stealing your time from you, right now. And yet you keep on reading. You don’t respect me at all, but you want to know what I’m going to say next.

      And look here, there’s even more down here. You’ve just read the whole thing, suckerrr.

  15. When you’re alone and life is making you lonely you can always go…


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