Sure, it is easy to laugh at a man who has a life-sized replica of a train in his basement because he has “always wanted to have a train in the basement.” We’ll roll our eyes and say, “Okay, train guy. I’m sure it’s very important that you got the real VIA garbage can from the broken-down VIA train that you and your friends found for sale, and I’m sure you never use the sound system you installed in the train because you’d rather just listen to the train noises. That sounds exactly like you, and it sounds great.” Or we’ll do a blog post about him and say something like, “That’s Your Boyfriend: Train Guy,” and paint him to be someone who you’d never want to date because of his odd obsession with not only trains but the idea of having his own non-functioning train that he can look at and sit in and use his imagination with, or whatever. But that is because we are all miserable!!! And will probably never know the joy of building for ourselves the one crazy possession that we’ve always wanted. (Closet from Clueless, in my case.) Something we can come home from the job we presumably have and look at and remember that there is something enjoyable in this world for us after all. There is a reason for all of it, for all of our hard work and all of the pain that life can sometimes bring. And the reason is, in this particular case, a big train in the basement.

Good job! I hope you get everything you want out of this video you made about your train, and I hope that you, unlike one math teacher I had in college, retain your somewhat pejorative, self-given nickname. (The math teacher I had in college asked us to call him “old dude.”) (No one ever did.) (Via TheDailyWhat.)

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Comments (15)
  1. Is he single though?

  2. “train in his basement” sounds like a supergross euphemism.

  3. I love him.

  4. I took a VIA train to go visit my family for Christmas. We went through the Rockies in the sunshine and had roomy seats and plent of room to move around and got to stop for snacks in Jasper and arrived early at our destination! I feel you, guy!

    (There were also lots of downsides: disorganized crowded train station; dining car shut down with no notice; I was kicked out of my awesome seat with a view to make room for a family that had to sit together, even though I was there first; ugly people).

  5. Dude should just play Densha De Go:

    I am terrible at it.

  6. I bet you could have a great party in that train. Also I have a friend who, back in high school, had a dentist’s chair in his attic.

  7. As long as his train obsession doesn’t extend to the band Train, he’s ok by me.

  8. This sounds like a fetish. I think he probably gets busy with the train at some point.

  9. Kelly, when you say you want the closet from Clueless, are you saying you want that closet technology applied to your current wardrobe, the actual clothes from the movie or some hybrid of the two?

    Only asking because I want to avoid the same mistakes we encountered when you contracted me to make the remote from Click.

  10. Who am I to judge? I just tried to search for that Merry Polka song on Spotify.

  11. He had me at Doctor Who toys. #nosarcasmo

  12. What he failed to show us is the bodies he’s got hidden under those seats.

  13. Wait a minute. This guy has OFFSPRING?

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