It’s here, it’s here, it’s here! Sometimes when something I’ve been waiting for (the Golden Globes telecast) for such a long time (since the 2012 Golden Globes telecast) is just about to happen, I wish I could slow time down a little bit just so I can keep the Golden Globes in my future rather than hurry it into my past. I’m sure you can all relate. But of course we cannot slow time down, just as we cannot pause time right when the Golden Globes begin in order to live in that moment forever, right before we get into the “third-rate awards ceremony in an over-crowded field of awards ceremonies, doled out by the ever-mysterious and seemingly-illegitimate foreign press association, convened in a sad-looking hotel ballroom where even the nominees are force-fed liquor in order to endure the whole thing” (you think I’m going to try to re-write the same sentiment when it has already been written perfectly?) (NOT ON GOLDEN GLOBES NIGHT!) so we have to press on. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are hosting! It’s incredible how much better that is than Ricky Gervais! Just look at how much real fun they’re having in this completely natural press photo. Ha-ha-ha, oh how they are friends! (But really, I am looking forward to their hosting more than I thought I could ever look forward to anyone’s hosting of an awards ceremony.) (Should be good!) So please hang out with us here and chat, chat, chat the night away about all the beautiful winners and garbage-y losers, and also please hang out with us on Twitter. Let’s do this dumb thing!

Comments (400)
  1. OMG IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  2. The most wonderful night of the year is THIS NIGHT.

    • I really like this comment because we all know Gabe’s being sarcastic, but Amy and Tina were *so* great that it’s not actually incorrect.

      Is Gabe a soothsayer?? My runes say yes.

  3. Is this a mission critical tinychat situation?

  4. I heard the Hollywood Foreign Press is giving $100,000 for the best “I’d like to see her Golden Globes” joke on twitter.

  5. How can Al Roker face the red carpet after his horrible admission?

  6. I’ve got $4 on the line in my “Predict the Winners” pool, so I’m really banking on the obligatory Matt LeBlanc win.

  7. Amy Poehler showing off the twins. As well she should

  8. Ricky Gervais is getting BUUUURNED.

  9. Best dress so far: Halle Berry. Worst: Adele (but I love you Adele).

  10. You know, aren’t we all winners tonight without Ricky Gervais in the building?

  11. TAKE THAT, James Cameron

  12. Okay, that’s a pretty good burn, Poehler.

  13. DANIEL DAY-LEWIS LOOKS HANDSOME

  14. Wow, is that what Daniel Day Lewis actually looks like?

  15. Veronica Mars is sitting right behind Hawkeye!

  16. Did she say the reluctant fundamentalist? is that sort of like the time travelers’ optometrist?

  17. Oh Leo, always a bridesmaid.

  18. Uh, did Dennis Quaid just walk off the set of Inner Space?

  19. More like “Maggie Smith could not be bothered to attend.”

  20. The year in which the Foreign Press finally says: no more awards for you, ungrateful Americans.

  21. Is anyone actually eating pizza? Be honest.

  22. Is it a requirement for them to play musical chairs during the commercial break?

  23. Pipe down, everyone!

  24. House of pies!

  25. BREAKING: Eva Longoria Still Alive!

  26. oh heyyy little Michael j fox!! (don’t arrest me)

  27. Forget Hollywood, Sheep-People! 60 Minutes is doing an expose on Robots and how they are going to take our jobs!

  28. Doyle sighting! #GilmoreGirls

  29. What’s that chic from American Horror Story: Asylum doing on a real show? And that short guy was on Buffy, right?

  30. Jessica Lange was ROBBED!

  31. NOYOUDONOTPLAYJULIANNEMOOREOFFTHESTAGE!!!

  32. #DOYOUHEARTHEPEOPLESINGTHO

  33. I am in love with li’l Michael J. Fox!!!!!

  34. Did she walk out on stage with her twink?

  35. I don’t like this dress rosario

  36. awkwardville.tumblr.blogspot.geocities.org

  37. Dick Winters Forever!!!!!!!!

  38. NOOOOOO! BUT! BRYAN!

  39. Damian Lewis’s real accent makes us understand why he always looks so stressed on Homeland.

  40. Downton Abbey lady is in Best Exotic Marigold Hotel!

  41. I’m starting to get nervous, guys.

  42. Damian Lewis is so classy he broke the Golden Globes.

  43. Downton Abbey was ROBBED!!! J/K? LOLOLOLOLOLOL. I guess I have to watch Homeland now.

  44. mike from homeland looks so nice in that tux

  45. I really like the idea of saying goodbye/sorry to the dead characters.

  46. Target has some really weird commercials tonight, you guys.

  47. Aaaah I just woke up from a nap did I miss any jokes? I bet I missed all the jokes. No more jokes from here on.

  48. BREAKING: HEROIC CIA OPERATIVE DOESN”T UNDERSTAND MODERN MICROPHONE TECHNOLOGY.

  49. Tony Mendes, can save Americans in Iran, can’t realize the microphone is slightly to his left.

  50. Way to wash the canadians out of the Iran hostage rescue, Golden Globes. Is the movie like that too?

  51. OOOOOHHHH J LO I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THAT DRESS. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE VERY DELICATE MOLD

  52. Oh, hey, at least we all know how to say Tom Tykwer now.

  53. So Jennifer Lopez really hates Jason Statham, agreed? Like, will shiv him backstage?

  54. All these people make beautiful music, everyone should win!

  55. Golden Globes lady is directing traffic off stage like a Chi-Town cop.

  56. Jennifer Lopez looks a bit…shiny

  57. Oh no look out. Here comes Adele’s dress.

  58. Everyone come tinychat with ash and I! I have scotch and I’m doing crafts! tinychat.com/videogum

  59. If Taylor Swift wins and then acts all shocked and bashful, I am going to be pissed.

  60. They made original songs for a movie made from a musical? Isn’t that sort of missing the point?

  61. The song the dwarves sang in The Hobbit should have been nominated.

  62. Taylor Swift doesn’t give good loser face.

  63. What a sweet and refreshing speech from Adele.

  64. Taylor Swift, throwing major shade at Adele

  65. Yay Adele! I am not sure if I loved loved that song, but I thougt it was the best Bond theme in a long time!

  66. I’m digging Tina Fey’s Lana Del Rey do. Lana Del Fey. Tina Del Rey. Tina Del Fey. Cool, joke’s done, everyone go home.

  67. Taylor Swift’s Hate Eye Daggers.

  68. Guys, if Seth MacFarlane is as funny during the Oscars as he is during the Oscar commercials, its going to be great!!!

    - Nobody

  69. the “golden globe nominated” SMASH tells us everything we need to know about the caliber of these awards.

  70. CUMBERBATCH!

  71. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH!!!

  72. GUYS WHAT IF BENNY DOESN’T WIN?!!?

  73. Hahahahaha Tina, you are a delight

  74. Wow, Costner looks overwhelmed with joy!

  75. BENEDICT! NO!

  76. Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where my Cumberbitches at!?!?!

  77. Yes, it was Kevin Costner’s dream to film a Miniseries in Romania for the History Channel.

  78. Serious question: is Kevin Costner A-list? Cuz I think he thinks he is. And I think maybe old man Hollywood thinks he is. But I’m not so sure.

  79. Maybe the Golden Globes did us all a favour. If Benedict Cumberbatch had gotten up, looking so good, and being so handsome, we would all have died.

  80. There are currently snipers with guns pointed at the three people kevin costner loves most.

  81. Standing O for Bill!

  82. That was just the best 30 seconds of television ever. “Bill Rodham Clinton.” Loved it.

  83. I really really want to drink wine with Amy and Tina. I am hoping if I pretend to be on a fist name basis with them it will happen.

  84. Guyyyyyyys, Ferrell and Wiig KILLED it. Absolutely killed it.

  85. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  86. Okey dokey guys, that’s enough now. Gotta go to work in the morning…

  87. hahahahaha I am finding this delightful

  88. Tommy Lee Jones is NOT impressed.

  89. I don’t think Tommy Lee Jones gets the joke.

  90. Just tuned in.

    Oh my god Amy Poehler’s dress…

  91. KATNISS WON THE HUNGER GAME.

  92. I WAS MAKING A ‘SHE BEAT MERYL JOKE’. Dammit Lawrence. We’re still cool but hands off my fresh jokes.

  93. Are you guys seeing this robot commercial??? They’re coming for us!

  94. I am catching up with the red carpet now and oh Rachel Weisz. She tried something different but oooohhhhhh Rachel Weisz

  95. Is Kristen bell with child?

  96. AWKWARD SMALL TALK TIME

  97. Ugh, Quentin Tarantino seems like such a douchebag.

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