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It’s here, it’s here, it’s here! Sometimes when something I’ve been waiting for (the Golden Globes telecast) for such a long time (since the 2012 Golden Globes telecast) is just about to happen, I wish I could slow time down a little bit just so I can keep the Golden Globes in my future rather than hurry it into my past. I’m sure you can all relate. But of course we cannot slow time down, just as we cannot pause time right when the Golden Globes begin in order to live in that moment forever, right before we get into the “third-rate awards ceremony in an over-crowded field of awards ceremonies, doled out by the ever-mysterious and seemingly-illegitimate foreign press association, convened in a sad-looking hotel ballroom where even the nominees are force-fed liquor in order to endure the whole thing” (you think I’m going to try to re-write the same sentiment when it has already been written perfectly?) (NOT ON GOLDEN GLOBES NIGHT!) so we have to press on. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are hosting! It’s incredible how much better that is than Ricky Gervais! Just look at how much real fun they’re having in this completely natural press photo. Ha-ha-ha, oh how they are friends! (But really, I am looking forward to their hosting more than I thought I could ever look forward to anyone’s hosting of an awards ceremony.) (Should be good!) So please hang out with us here and chat, chat, chat the night away about all the beautiful winners and garbage-y losers, and also please hang out with us on Twitter. Let’s do this dumb thing!
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OMG IT’S ALL HAPPENING!
The most wonderful night of the year is THIS NIGHT.
I really like this comment because we all know Gabe’s being sarcastic, but Amy and Tina were *so* great that it’s not actually incorrect.
Is Gabe a soothsayer?? My runes say yes.
Is this a mission critical tinychat situation?
I heard the Hollywood Foreign Press is giving $100,000 for the best “I’d like to see her Golden Globes” joke on twitter.
How can Al Roker face the red carpet after his horrible admission?
I kept waiting for someone to ask him about his…issues…
I’ve got $4 on the line in my “Predict the Winners” pool, so I’m really banking on the obligatory Matt LeBlanc win.
Amy Poehler showing off the twins. As well she should
She has been all night! And Tina Fey looks so hot! And i love everything!
Ricky Gervais is getting BUUUURNED.
Best dress so far: Halle Berry. Worst: Adele (but I love you Adele).
You know, aren’t we all winners tonight without Ricky Gervais in the building?
TAKE THAT, James Cameron
Jessica Chastain’s reaction needs to be a GIF.
God bless you.
Okay, that’s a pretty good burn, Poehler.
DANIEL DAY-LEWIS LOOKS HANDSOME
Quite the silver fox!
Wow, is that what Daniel Day Lewis actually looks like?
Veronica Mars is sitting right behind Hawkeye!
Did she say the reluctant fundamentalist? is that sort of like the time travelers’ optometrist?
Oh Leo, always a bridesmaid.
Is he about to cry? His eyes are VERY shiny.
or just VERY drunk?
He’ll get his lifetime Oscar one day.
Uh, did Dennis Quaid just walk off the set of Inner Space?
He’s been inside Martin Short this entire time! Wait, that sounds bad.
More like “Maggie Smith could not be bothered to attend.”
“Maggie Smith has no use for these sham awards.”
The year in which the Foreign Press finally says: no more awards for you, ungrateful Americans.
Is anyone actually eating pizza? Be honest.
:-/
Ugh now I feel bad! Let’s order a pizza!
I had a sandwich. Lame. But I am drinking a skinnygirl margarita!
Wine for me.
I’m about to make a Petrova Doppelganger (Vampire Diaries inspired drink). That’s cran-raspberry juice, vodka, and Sprite. TRY IT!
OMG I want one just based on the name.
I am!
i had pizza early today at work. that counts, right?
Totes!
Is it a requirement for them to play musical chairs during the commercial break?
Pipe down, everyone!
House of pies!
Pie Town!
BREAKING: Eva Longoria Still Alive!
oh heyyy little Michael j fox!! (don’t arrest me)
but taller?
Forget Hollywood, Sheep-People! 60 Minutes is doing an expose on Robots and how they are going to take our jobs!
Doyle sighting! #GilmoreGirls
What’s that chic from American Horror Story: Asylum doing on a real show? And that short guy was on Buffy, right?
Jonathan! JONATHAN! Jonathanjonathanjonathan!
“Jonathan” wrote Game Change (and Recount)!
short guy (joanthon) from buffy wrote game change or wrote the screenplay
Are you talking about Sara Paulson? She was on Deadwood.
http://tinychat.com/videogum
Jessica Lange was ROBBED!
I was p. sure she’d win again. She’s been killing it in the last few episodes. Also I unapologetically love that show, whoops.
No apologies necessary! We love what we love. And I love that hot mess of a show.
NOYOUDONOTPLAYJULIANNEMOOREOFFTHESTAGE!!!
#DOYOUHEARTHEPEOPLESINGTHO
That was awkward.
I love CZJ, so I was smiling really big when she came out, and then immediately frowned when she started singing. I’m scared.
UM, it was beautiful and everyone totally seemed to understand why it was happening and enjoy it.
I am in love with li’l Michael J. Fox!!!!!
Did she walk out on stage with her twink?
I don’t like this dress rosario
Yeah. She’s better than that.
awkwardville.tumblr.blogspot.geocities.org
Dick Winters Forever!!!!!!!!
At least until January 2, 2011
Shhhhhhhh. Forever.
NOOOOOO! BUT! BRYAN!
Damian Lewis’s real accent makes us understand why he always looks so stressed on Homeland.
Downton Abbey lady is in Best Exotic Marigold Hotel!
It’s a fantastic movie!
Speaking of old British people, may I suggest “Quartet”. It has Billy Connolly, Maggie Smith, Verdi and was directed by Dustin Hoffman
now that’s a good cast.
I’m starting to get nervous, guys.
DON’T BE NERVOUS YOU BEAUTIFUL MAN YOU
I’ll comfort you….
Damian Lewis is so classy he broke the Golden Globes.
Downton Abbey was ROBBED!!! J/K? LOLOLOLOLOLOL. I guess I have to watch Homeland now.
You should! This season wasn’t as good as the last, but it was still very, very good.
I know! I just now jumped on the Breaking Bad wagon and It’s so overwhelming. I’ll get caught up on Homeland ASAP.
mike from homeland looks so nice in that tux
magic mike.
I really like the idea of saying goodbye/sorry to the dead characters.
But spoiler.
Target has some really weird commercials tonight, you guys.
Aaaah I just woke up from a nap did I miss any jokes? I bet I missed all the jokes. No more jokes from here on.
the mic! talk into the mic!
sorry! not a reply! you don’t need a mic.
If you can find the monologue do it. It’s really funny.
BREAKING: HEROIC CIA OPERATIVE DOESN”T UNDERSTAND MODERN MICROPHONE TECHNOLOGY.
Tony Mendes, can save Americans in Iran, can’t realize the microphone is slightly to his left.
Way to wash the canadians out of the Iran hostage rescue, Golden Globes. Is the movie like that too?
OOOOOHHHH J LO I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THAT DRESS. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE VERY DELICATE MOLD
Seriously, JLo. Stop. We’ve seen it.
It reminds me of wallpaper that was in my grandpa’s house.
I don’t fully understand the fake nude dresses.
i’ll allow it.
Oh, hey, at least we all know how to say Tom Tykwer now.
So Jennifer Lopez really hates Jason Statham, agreed? Like, will shiv him backstage?
All these people make beautiful music, everyone should win!
Golden Globes lady is directing traffic off stage like a Chi-Town cop.
Jennifer Lopez looks a bit…shiny
Oh no look out. Here comes Adele’s dress.
Everyone come tinychat with ash and I! I have scotch and I’m doing crafts! tinychat.com/videogum
If Taylor Swift wins and then acts all shocked and bashful, I am going to be pissed.
She lost. #smallvictories
They made original songs for a movie made from a musical? Isn’t that sort of missing the point?
I was confused. So they wrote a new song just for the movie? Oh well, it didn’t win anyway. Nice try guys!
Supposedly they added the new song because they thought the narrative needed it. Aka “we want to be nominated for an Oscar but songs we wrote decades ago are ineligible.”
The song the dwarves sang in The Hobbit should have been nominated.
Far over…the misty mountains cold…
Great song.
Taylor Swift doesn’t give good loser face.
What a sweet and refreshing speech from Adele.
She could have stood there mute and sneering and I would still say best winner so far, because she high-fived Daniel Craig.
Taylor Swift, throwing major shade at Adele
Yay Adele! I am not sure if I loved loved that song, but I thougt it was the best Bond theme in a long time!
Better than A View to a Kill?!?!?!
Are you saying, Nobody Does It Better?
Nothing is better than A View To a Kill.
I’m digging Tina Fey’s Lana Del Rey do. Lana Del Fey. Tina Del Rey. Tina Del Fey. Cool, joke’s done, everyone go home.
Taylor Swift’s Hate Eye Daggers.
Guys, if Seth MacFarlane is as funny during the Oscars as he is during the Oscar commercials, its going to be great!!!
- Nobody
the “golden globe nominated” SMASH tells us everything we need to know about the caliber of these awards.
CUMBERBATCH!
BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH!!!
GUYS WHAT IF BENNY DOESN’T WIN?!!?
He will burn them. He will burn them all.
Burn the heart out of them.
This thread is like why I love Videogum in a single thread.
Hahahahaha Tina, you are a delight
WHAT.
It’s okay Benedict. I have beer we can share, and pretty good sandwiches too. We can have beer and sandwiches and bitch about Kevin Costner and play Mortal Kombat.
You were ROBBED!!!
I know. Kevin Costner. Ugh. And that movie was terrible. Plus, it’s going to be a series.
Wow, Costner looks overwhelmed with joy!
BENEDICT! NO!
Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where my Cumberbitches at!?!?!
Yes, it was Kevin Costner’s dream to film a Miniseries in Romania for the History Channel.
Serious question: is Kevin Costner A-list? Cuz I think he thinks he is. And I think maybe old man Hollywood thinks he is. But I’m not so sure.
I think he’s sorta perma-A list. And that was such a great speech!
Maybe the Golden Globes did us all a favour. If Benedict Cumberbatch had gotten up, looking so good, and being so handsome, we would all have died.
I know I would have died. Right here. With all of you. Not so bad, really.
True. I am glad to still be living so that I can see him on the big screen.
I’m coming for you in 2014, Cumberwomyn.
Oh. My. God. Please do.
I really on board with this new poster, by the way….
So on board that I can’t type properly, apparently.
i”m going to need to excuse myself for a minute. I’m a bit flustered.
There are currently snipers with guns pointed at the three people kevin costner loves most.
Standing O for Bill!
That was just the best 30 seconds of television ever. “Bill Rodham Clinton.” Loved it.
I really really want to drink wine with Amy and Tina. I am hoping if I pretend to be on a fist name basis with them it will happen.
Guyyyyyyys, Ferrell and Wiig KILLED it. Absolutely killed it.
f’real? that was hard to watch.
Who are you, Tommy Lee Jones?
Some people have told me that there’s a resemblance.
Yeah, in the words of my mom, “This is typical SNL stuff. They don’t know when to end a joke.”
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Okey dokey guys, that’s enough now. Gotta go to work in the morning…
Seriously. For real. This is still happening. ENOUGH.
I think it’s just you and me on this one.
hahahahaha I am finding this delightful
I’m worried. I’m laughing really hard at a Golden Globes skit. Am I old?!??!
Tommy Lee Jones is NOT impressed.
I don’t think Tommy Lee Jones gets the joke.
BUT HE SEEMS SO FUN!
Just tuned in.
Oh my god Amy Poehler’s dress…
KATNISS WON THE HUNGER GAME.
I WAS MAKING A ‘SHE BEAT MERYL JOKE’. Dammit Lawrence. We’re still cool but hands off my fresh jokes.
OR: You control Jennifer Lawrence’s brain. Make her skip!
Are you guys seeing this robot commercial??? They’re coming for us!
I like to think that they are about to exterminate erm battle the Charlie Sheen army from the anger management commercial.
I liked that Data cameo, though.
But no Bender? I mean, if there’s a robot apocalypse, Bender’s gonna be there.
I am catching up with the red carpet now and oh Rachel Weisz. She tried something different but oooohhhhhh Rachel Weisz
I liked it until I saw the bottom.
If I had a dime for every time I said that.
TWSS
Is Kristen bell with child?
Yup.
AWKWARD SMALL TALK TIME
Ugh, Quentin Tarantino seems like such a douchebag.
YES. I can’t even stand to look at his face.
I know he’s insufferable, but damn if I don’t go see his movies.