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Let me be the first and also the last to apologize for all of the technical difficulties you may have encountered on the site over the past couple of weeks. I mean, who else is going to apologize for that? Bill Gates? I’m the only one who understands or cares what you are going through. Does anyone on the whole planet have lives harder than our lives? Doubtful. We wanted to write/read a mildly humorous pop culture blog about Anderson Cooper Banana Police and the servers were being problematic! WHY DON’T WE ALL JUST JUMP INTO THE OCEAN AND DROWNED TO DEATH WE CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE. Hopefully your weekend will be free of any technical difficulties. Hopefully your weekend will operate at 100% full capacity. Enj0y 1t!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Ryan Gosling With Ryan Gosling Painting Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editors’ Choices.


This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5  Kate | Jan 8th Score:35

People also ask Kelly what grade she’s in. Come on people, she’s in grown-up grade.

Posted in: Today We Are All Emma Watson At The Airport
#4  imsteph | Jan 10th Score:36

Yea because when a newly divorced male movie star goes on fucky vacation, he’s always called out for not talking to the 50+ women.

Posted in: Sounds Like Topper Had A Fun New Year’s
#3  Funtastik | Jan 8th Score:38

HERE ARE ALL MY ARGUMENTS IN A ROW DON’T SPEAK HERE’S A TANGENT TO MY TANGENT BECAUSE YOU’RE WRONG AND NOW I’M SPEAKING IN AN ACCENT.

Posted in: That’s Your Boyfriend: Alex Jones
#2  newbie | Jan 8th Score:38

Everyone knows that the louder you yell, the more compelling your argument.

Posted in: That’s Your Boyfriend: Alex Jones
#1  Frank Lloyd Wrong | Jan 7th Score:47

“Did you hear that a terrorist successfully deployed a dirty bomb at the White House? Apparently, he was a member of Al Roker.” — Ghost of Johnny Carson

Posted in: BREAKING: AL ROKER POOPED HIS PANTS AT THE WHITE HOUSE

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Frank Lloyd Wrong has the honor of having both the highest and lowest rated comments this week! And he deserves both of them! Congrats, FLW. You really did it. Also congrats to everyone else, this is a great group of comments! Very glad you said that, imsteph; I was thinking the same thing. Thx mom for saying what you said. HAVE GREAT WEEKENDS!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

Frank Lloyd Wrong | Jan 9th Score:-6

http://i.imgur.com/AMZxg.png

Posted in: Obama Invites Cast/Crew Of 1600 Penn To The White House

[Assoc. Ed. Note: As I said, you deserve it.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, hotspur! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice (Mary)

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Oh man, the entire thread of comments on the Roker post is so great! You are all winners! (Go back and read this thread, everyone. It will make you laugh.) Jokes that tie in other jokes we like to make are usually worth at least twice the laugh value, though, don't you agree? Congrats, Superglue! #NeverTrustAFart.]

  Superglue | Jan 7th Score:27

This is what happens when you let the journalist in you take over.

Posted in: BREAKING: AL ROKER POOPED HIS PANTS AT THE WHITE HOUSE

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice (Kelly)

  flanny | Jan 7th Score:7

I feel for the poor janitor who had to empty out that bathroom trash can.

Posted in: BREAKING: AL ROKER POOPED HIS PANTS AT THE WHITE HOUSE

[Assoc. Ed. Note: YES.]
This Week’s Editor’s Choice

  catweazle | Jan 9th Score:24

An exclusive excerpt from Garrett’s 70 pages in Brazil:

Posted in: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Garrett Hedlund Is Not A Writer

[Ed. Note: You want to earn that Editor's Choice this year? You want to join the big leagues? THEN YOU GOT 2 PUT IN THE WORK.]

Comments (25)
  1. Have a great weekend, everyone!

  2. Congrats to everyone who made this year’s first Monsters’ Ball!

    This being the first one as a result of the above-mentioned technical difficulties which may have deprived some of us, it could be any of us, from the honor of having been part of the first Ball of the year.

    But I keeeeeeeed! Happy weekend, everyone.

  3. Finally, my creative writing degree pays off.

  4. It’s Friday–this calls for a victory dance!

  5. First time in the top 5 AND Kelly talked to me! This is the best day ever! Also, not to brag TOO much, but I googled “fucky vacation” and it looks like I coined that, so I am just so pleased with myself right now I could fall over.

    And hotspur and catweazle, I showed my fiance both of your masterpieces the other day and he laughed out loud with me. Bravissimo, guys, really.

  6. Thanks, Kelly!! And I’d also like to thank all the bathroom trashcans I emptied during my years in the food service industry. Gone, but not forgotten. Just like Al Roker’s poop.

    Have a wonderful weekend, all!

  7. Happy weekend, you guys! I really enjoyed reading everyone’s stories about being mistaken for a much younger age. It is super annoying when it happens, but it makes for a good story later!
    I got the complete Flight of the Conchords today, which I don’t know why I didn’t already own it, but I am very much looking forward to rewatching all of it. After that, I might do some angry dancing.

  8. Great week cograts ballers!!

  9. I am so super excited, you guys! My first experience at the Ball! I’m going to be strutting for the next week!

  10. Editor’s Choice!!! Thanks, Al Roker, for practically dumping this in my lap!

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