How is everyone’s day going today? Getting back into the full swing of your normal day-to-day life after the rush and tumble of the holidays? It is about time. That was over 100 years ago. Come on, guys. Be reasonable. I know it’s hard, though. Remember how great it was sitting on your couch watching the Queen of Versailles on Netflix Instant with a glass of wine in the middle of the day? What time is it? What day is it? WHO CARES, THESE QUESTIONS DON’T MATTER! Oh well. I guess you need the normal days to make the holidays feel special in the first place. Besides, even if it’s taking you too long to accept that this is your lot in life and that you are back in it, your day is probably going better than Ben Affleck’s. Did you hear? He was SNUBBED in the Best Director category at the Oscars for his movie The Argos. Oh no! Ben Affleck really wanted that nod! Everyone was so sure and they told him so. “There are but three constants in life, death, taxes, and Ben Affleck’s Best Director Oscar nod for The Argos.” Poor guy. Is life even worth living anymore? All he has is a celebrated and enduring career with no end in sight, handsome children, and millions of dollars. BUT FOR WHAT? HE WAS TOLD THIS WAS HIS YEAR FOR THE NOD! What a heartbreaker. You just work so medium-hard at something for so long, earning millions of dollars and fans in the process, only to not get this one thing that is bordering on meaningless but that you really fixated on, at least according to the celebrity press, which, OK, maybe the guy doesn’t even care, it’s hard to say at this point, but what is important is that Oscars and also nods and also Bennifer and mansions.

How was your day? Mine was fine, thank you!

Comments (144)
  1. My train line has been messed up all week so I kept not having time to stop for coffee on my way into work which was a disaster, but the cycle of misery finally ended today. I had to sit through a long team meeting which was boring, but now I get to leave early to go to a bar with my coworkers so it all balances out. Booze fixes EVERYTHING.

  2. I am drinking a beer, which is fabulous. It balances out the fact that I have a mounting pile of work to do and will have to take work home tonight. I just signed up for a scotch-tasting class, so that should be fun. I prefer bourbon, but who would pass up an opportunity to keep saying “I like scotch, scotchy scotchy scotch” all night?

    I turn 25 on Saturday. I don’t feel old or anything, per se, I am just not very excited. I couldn’t muster the effort to round up friends to celebrate. The roomie will be at a work event. I think I’ll go to a bar and drink alone for a bit. I just dread when anyone asks me “so what did you do for your birthday?” with their big smile that assumes I did something amazing. Ugh to enthusiasm.

    • HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY!!!! Just tell everyone you had a crazy “Hangover 2″ style night of debauchery and you don’t remember what happened. And IF they push, give them obscure clues and let them try to piece the night together for you. You can get weeks of entertainment out of this.

    • Happy birthday! My birthday was last Saturday, and I had the exact same issue of having no one around and no plans. I ate cupcakes for dinner and watched Albert Nobbs. Feel free to steal that idea.

    • HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU neverabadidea. Enjoy your scotch!

    • Speaking of birthdays… DAVID BOWIE just turned 66, and RELEASED THE FIRST NEW ALBUM in 10 YEARS!

      [insert happy dancing gif]

    • Happy birthday! I would buy you a drink, if I were there. And it would be a scotch, which is my favorite. Although that might ruin your “drinking alone” vibe… so I’d do it real quiet-like, from the shadows, not saying a word.

    • Happy Birthday, neverabadidea! 25 is a good age. I love Old Man Fatima’s approach to those pesky questions from people about how you celebrated. Mysterious, disconnected clues are the way to go. And who knows? Sometimes when you don’t plan things, those are the nights that turn out to be really fun.

  3. Today has been really very good. It’s one of my days off so all I really have to worry about is getting the kids to school and washing my face.

    But I’ve been doing laundry and watching Freaks and Geeks (which I am JUST NOW discovering and it is so good that it makes me sad), made a sweet potato pie and an excellent dinner which we ate at 4:30 like old people but that means I got an early buzz with the wine from dinner and have the whole night ahead of me to ignore the dishes!

  4. Went to Duane Reade to get a flu shot and a guy cut in front of me in the line. There was an issue with his insurance, so in the time it took him to sort it all out, I was processed and, as it turns out, got the last bottle of vaccine in the store. Dwell on that, Mr. Rude, when you’re all laid up in bed watching the Price is Right and I’m at work for eight hours, healthy as a horse.

    Ah, crap.

  5. This morning my kitchen faucet broke and started spewing water everywhere and the faucet itself wouldn’t turn off so I had to shut off my water. The plumber can’t come until tomorrow evening, so no showers or washing dishes or pooping for fatima until the weekend, basically.

    BUT THEN, I had invited my crush for drinks this weekend, and he called to say he will be out of town so will have to raincheck, and we got to chatting and he asked about my holidays. I mentioned being super broke because I was burgled and have no insurance, and he said that when we go for drinks when he gets back it will be his treat and if I need to borrow some money or anything to let him know. Of course I will not, but what a sweetie!! I’m definitely having his gigantic babies.

    AND THEN, I got to work and was told that the project that took over my beautiful office will be done this week so as of Monday I can leave the gross dank noisy basement call centre they put me in and return to my beautiful airy peaceful office with a window and chandelier and fake fireplace!

    So to recap, my day started out sucky and then got better and better, so not having running water for a day or two is kind of a wash I’d say. Today has been pretty good.

  6. KCC gave us a shout out the other day.

  7. My WiFi signal decided to disappear in the middle of writing a post so I had to run as fast as I could to Starbucks, which was not a fun situation AT ALL; but I am going to make ratatouille later and a new Netflix just came in the mail, so things might be looking up! LIFE, YOU FICKLE MISTRESS. #YOLO #NeverTrustAFart

  8. I have the flu so my day kind of sucks. Although my fever broke (I think), and I’m finally starting to feel better.

    I also watched Queen of Versailles, and it was great!

    • I think I feel the flu coming on too. I had a five-day break from work, today was my first day back, and three hours in? I’m feeling urpy. Not thrilled about this development, I am.

  9. Today’s been okay. I’m on a remote temp job right now, which means my commute is the distance between my bed and my couch. I haven’t left the house except to let out the dog, and I’m overdue for a shower even by my standards, but I have a fun weekend ahead of me. It’s my birthday Monday, and my high school girlfriends are taking me out to dinner tonight, and tomorrow my fiance and I are having a house party – our first since moving into our place in March. I’m turning 27, which is the age my mom was when she had me, and that her mom was when she had her. When I was younger, I thought that I would try and have a daughter when I was 27, but that ship is quickly sailing and I’m glad to see it go.

    • HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Holy cow, everyone’s birthdays!! You and neverabadidea should get together and party hardy!

    • My parents had me when they were 27, and I remember when I was visiting them after I turned 27, and we were walking on the beach. My sister and mom were chatting about things, and then my dad was asks– apropos of nothing, btw– “So what’s it like being a 27 year old single guy with no kids? I have no idea what that’s like. You’ve moved into alien territory for me.”

      And I replied, “UHHHHHHHH, I don’t know, Dad. It sucks? How are 27 year-olds supposed to feel about stuff in general? Marriage and kids haven’t really come up as of yet in my day-to-day.”

      It was the weirdest bonding moment I’d had with him, only trumped a few scant months later once I got cancer and he basically expressed that I was the manliest dude he’s ever known for handling my life so smoothly, all things considered.

      Dads and kids, amirite?

    • yay for capricorns!

      • You capricorns are alright, I suppose (my mom’s a capricorn and today is her birthday. Hi mom!) but I tend to get along better with pisces and leo’s….

    • Yeah, my parents also had me when they were 27 (something in the water back then I guess) and not long ago I was thinking “It would have been cool to know them when they were the age I am now,” and then suddenly I realized, I did know him. I was 10. I REMEMBER MY PARENTS FROM WHEN THEY WERE LIKE 34 ON. So weird.

  10. I went to get my dog spayed and some lady buying tons of dog food wanted to pet her. She said, “bring her up, daddy, i need to see her.” Then she looked at her face for a few seconds and went, “She is so pretty.” Paused for a few seconds and followed that by “she has a face only a father could love.” And just as I was walking away she looked at me and told me ” She’s a baby in a dog costume. Soon she will be a young lady in a dog costume, then she will be a lady in a dog costume, then she will be an old lady in a dog costume.” Then she walked away. So, yes, good day.

  11. It’s week two of my Bob Ross 6:30am Challenge, and today he painted a happy little stream flowing through some trees on a black canvas. Only he did that thing where he puts tapes around the edge of the canvas, and then at the end he ripped off the tape so there was a frame of black around the painting. And then he painted the river flowing out onto this frame. It was lovely.

    • You’ve gotta mask the edges of your painting! I guess not always, especially when working on a stretched canvas– if that’s the case people usually paint right over the edge– but when i paint or draw I always rule out/mask the edges, because corners are meant to get bent and accidents happen, and you don’t want your work bashed up, plus you get a nice little fram and people can hold your work without getting their greasy fingers all over your work!

      Then you are also afforded the opportunity to break out into the frame like it’s a 4th wall or to create added depth, like Bob Ross did this morning!

      • I meant to add that when I paint or draw it’s usually on bristol or illustration board, I avoid canvases as much as I can, hence the necessity of masking/ruling out the edges.

      • what kind of stuff do you paint? I haven’t painted in forever, but I used to quite enjoy it. I need to get back to my artsy side.

        • Oh no, I think I’ve deceived you all! I don’t actually paint at all. On Thursdays I get up early and watch Bob Ross at 6:30 because it’s the only time I know for sure that he’s on. I’m sorry to disappoint, but thankful for KX&C’s inside scoop on the use of masks.

          But have tasked myself with writing during the hour between when Bob Ross ends and when I have to leave for work. See, I write! I’m creative, I swear! Please don’t hate me.

  12. Happy Bday, Steph and Neverabadidea

  13. “Remember how great it was sitting on your couch watching the Queen of Versailles on Netflix Instant with a glass of wine in the middle of the day? What time is it? What day is it? WHO CARES, THESE QUESTIONS DON’T MATTER! Oh well.”

    I did exactly that! But with Amazon, not Netflix! And eggnog, not wine! And it was the middle of the night, not day!

    My day has been weird because I work at a movie studio and I’ve seen less than half of the movies nominated so I have to pretend I’m knowledgeable about the stuff everyone has opinions about.

    • What do you do at the movie studio? I assume any job related to the movies must be fun and exciting. I know that isn’t true, but I’m still sort of fascinated by the industry, and would love to work in that field in some capacity someday. Even if it’s just being an extra in a movie or something.

      I designed posters for a couple of short films, and flipped my lid when one of them was posted on IMDB.

      • I have the type of job where my first thought after reading the Oscar nominees was “ugh, I have to start making personal shopping appointments at Prada for my boss.” It’s all very glamorous and exhausting.

  14. Congratulations to the Monster College Bowl pick them winners.

    1 Formerragequitter
    2 GuidedByVodka,
    3 *
    4 thekelburrows
    4T the_galaxy

    *I forget who won 3rd place, could have been anyone, I guess.

  15. I have had some kind of terrible stomach flu for three days, which has been awful, but the fever + half a sleeping pill I took last night made for some pretty amazing dreams early this morning. In one, David Tennant and I were walking around in Edinburgh and it was obvious that he was crushing on me pretty hard. In another, I was on an airplane with David Tennant and Danica Patrick, and we were talking about Plato. And in a third, I was watching a big night parade led by Barack and Michelle Obama. So yeah, I’d say that was worth the puking and the chills, and the eating nothing but plain Rice Chex and applesauce since Tuesday.

  16. My day was pretty good. I heard back about the museum internship I applied for in November and have an interview next week! My friends are finally back in town as school starts up again next week, so we’re going for pizza and beer tomorrow! And, I’ve finally started watching Doctor Who. I get the references now!!! Yay!!

    • how far are you on Who? Isn’t it lovely!

      • I’ve seen all the episodes, like, 7 times each but I just started watching them all this week from Season 1 (Christopher Eccleston Season 1, I mean) because it’s the 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF DOCTOR WHO THIS YEAR! You guys, this only happens once in our lifetime. The Royal Mail is even doing a special set of stamps to commemorate the occasion:

      • I started with the Christopher Eccleston season one and just finished season two tonight. Would have started before winter break, but there was the pressing matter of getting caught up on Sherlock. I had watched Torchwood in bits and pieces and really liked it, so I knew it was just a matter of time before I got into the Doctor. Now I’m hooked!

        • Torchwood is child’s play compared to Doctor Who. It’s just good fun! Lemme know when you get to Smith. He’s my doctor, I’ll be sad when he goes.

          • I have a feeling I’m going to enjoy Smith. Looking forward to it!

          • Smith is my favorite. He’s the funniest and the most accessible, though I think Rory and Amy had a lot to do with this. I’m very concerned about the new companion, especially as I initially thought she was a regeneration or offspring of Jenny… but now may be into him??? I like BFF companions so much more than fake love interest companions.

            This being said, Eccleston and Tennant are just marvelous actors.

            I Netflixed Tennant’s Hamlet last year and then caught him in the Fright Night remake later that week and to see him do three totally different roles impressed me forever. This being said, if you have not yet done so, look up his miniseries about Casanova on Netflix. The costumes are awesome and Peter O’Toole!!

            p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY

          • badideajeans have you seen Blackpool? It’s another awesome Tennant role. Murder mystery sort-of musical! And by music, I mean Tennant sings “The boy with the thorn in his side” and it is great.

        • David Tennant as the Doctor is my dream husband, astronaut Mike Dexter.
          He’s in Spies of Warsaw and Broadchurch (like a UK Twin Peaks). I will watch anything with him in it.

          Did you know he was a huge fan of the series and even married a former Doctor’s daughter. He dreamed big and won.

    • dr. who is some bullshit

    • I too put off watching Doctor Who for a long time, but now I own a TARDIS cookie jar.

  17. Today I’m bummed that upon reflection the movie Looper wasn’t really all that. I finally watched it last night and enjoyed it quite a bit – at the time of said viewing – but now with a day between us I realize it doesnt sit well, so that’s disappointing. Wish I could go back in time and tell myself to take it easy, yes its a fine movie, very well made, but its not THAT good so chillax, bro.

    • “upon reflection the movie Looper really wasn’t all that” is just a really well-crafted phrase.

    • I haven’t seen Looper yet so it is weird to realize that possibly Steve Winwood is Future Me, who has seen it and has now traveled back in time to warn me to take it easy with the expectations.

      That is probably not the case, though.

  18. I think I hate winter.

  19. i’ve been sick LITERALLY all year. well, i was only really sick for a few days, now i just have a leftover cough that’s not likely to go away anytime soon.

    i was waitlisted for a class i need for my major that’s only offered once a year that a bunch of people are trying to add because it was cancelled the previous year, and i didn’t get in. so, that sucks.

    buuut, my dumb band picked up our dumb cds from the printer’s the other day, and they look so good, like we’re a real band or something. i’m so excited! i can’t even.

    i also may have gotten some design work doing album art for some other bands that we’re friends with, including one fairly high profile one (although maybe not to people outside of the bay area? i’m bad at gauging that sort of thing) (that one might not even work out anyway, since they have a history of being pretty flaky with us), so i’m pretty excited about that. but also, terrified, because i sort of have no idea what i’m doing, and fear i may have bitten off more than i can chew.

    i spent all day at work today hiding out in the back of the store taking pictures of pages from a book on watercolor painting on my phone so that i wouldn’t have to buy it, because i am grossly overconfident about what an unfireable asset i am. also, because i’ve been thinking of taking up watercolors again.

  20. Guys, tomorrow I am going to see Dirty Projectors! Kelly got me the tickets for Christmas. So today I am just looking forward to it.

  21. Today I realized, again, I’m not that different from everyone else after all.

  22. Last week I was LITERALLY sitting on my couch watching the Queen of Versailles on Netflix Instant with a glass of wine in the middle of the day.


  23. This week has been pretty crappy, except for today! Today was great! This week started with my hand randomly twitching and pain in my elbow, arguments with family, having to deal with condescending people, and feeling insecure. Today, the pain and twitching are gone, arguments are resolved, I only dealt with nice people today, and I was productive at work and felt much more confident about life . Froggy Fresh dropping a new track made it even better. But the best thing about this week happened on Monday when the reading therapy dog came. She fell asleep and started snoring when I was rubbing her belly. Move over, Cesar Millan. There’s a new dog whisperer in town.

  24. Today was okay! I got to use my brain a little bit and it seemed to work out even though I only slept for two hours (replacing sleep with Harry Potter kindlebooks = 100% okay!) My only new year’s resolution was to act less weird and creepy around my classmates and I totally/mostly succeeded. People tried to hug me and stuff. Human!

    I am very into exclamation marks, I guess is what happened today.

    • IMPORTANT UPDATE: More research is needed before Harry Potter books can be recommended as a safe and healthy alternative to sleep for all populations. (I just washed my face with anti-dandruff shampoo.)

  25. Today on lunch I went to the CHP so that they could certify my headlights work. I had a fix-it ticket. I also have a ticket for “impeding traffic,” which is what you get when the light turns green and you don’t go because you are reading a text and the car behind you is a cop car.

    “Impeding” turns out to be a $265 fine, plus a “point” on my license (it is the opposite of sports, you guys — a point is bad). But today I did some research and now am wondering what happens if I go to courts and say “I want to plead guilty to a lesser offense instead — the use of a cell phone to text. That is my REAL offense.” Officer Lawman [not his real name] didn’t actually ticket me for that, he just wrote down I was “warned.” And the ticket for that is $20 and no points. Should I try this? Pleading guilty to a lesser, causal offense? Once I pleaded guilty to going 59 in a 45 instead of 61 in a 45 and they went “We’ll agree, rest your case, go home, drive safe.” Basically I am asking monsters for legal advice! Good idea I bet.

    This is my first ticket since I was in my 20s, more than 6,000 years ago as the Earth cooled.

    • You should definitely try it. What’s the worst that can happen? This is actually not a legal question, but a philosophical one. There’s no potential loss, but there is potential gain. And you might get some amazing people-watching in. I drive by my county courthouse every day on my way to work, and hoo boy, there are some fascinating-looking folks going in there.

      • Well, actually, if I try it and fail, I will have to pay court costs ($35? $65) plus my insurance will go up (I estimate $10-30/month for 2-3 years for a total cost of $220-$1980, depending how brutal my insurance company gets–I should probably call and ask ‘em). The alternative is to pay $265 for Impeding plus $265 for traffic school, which erases the points and caps my cost at $530 and done. So this is a very legal situation, lots of codicils, tons of riders.

      • In college, my friend and I went to watch county court for fun on a regular basis. We got to know the security guards and had favorite judges and everything.
        There was not a lot to do in Annapolis.

    • You should interpret every upvote as approval for the idea!

    • Are you sure that’s a lesser offense? You should plead no contest and say you were looking at a map or texted directions if it isn’t already on record that you were not, in fact, looking at a map.

  26. Today I got to work at 9am (2 hours later than usual), and just as I was walking out the door at 5 I got a page telling me I had a potential patient in the TRU. Fast forward an hour later and they became my patient…so now I get to be at the hospital for the next…(drum roll please)…72 hours! Yaaaaaaaaaaaay for 72 hours shifts!

    I think my favorite part of being on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (literally) and being glued to the patients bedside for their first 72 hours post-surgery is when my HR supervisor lectures me about how there’s no point in reporting all the hours worked in my timesheet, because I’m salaried and only get paid for 40 hours regardless. (Seriously tho, of course I’m reporting that shit! What else will I have to hold over their heads when I demand a raise!)

    Also, my socks were stolen out of my OR shoes so I was forced to use OR booties as socks, which are somewhat waterproof…so now my feet are sloshing in sweat with each step. I expect trench-foot to set in at any moment.

    On the upside, one of my surgeon’s has a lazy-boy couch in their office. On the double upside, I now have plenty of time to peruse videogum! On the TRIPLE upside, I might actually have a chance in the next 72 hours to find a good poopin’ bathroom in the hospital!!!! You know the type…tucked away, little hallway foot traffic, usually clean, quality phone reception…. :-D

    • Gods speed, my friend. You find that bathroom! Reach for the stars!

      • updates: haven’t found the bathroom yet. DID steal some patient socks, but the rubberized footies make them impossible to wear inside sneakers. changed my OR booties instead. also, we got a new round of residents at the hospital and the one on call for tonight has next to no idea what he’s doing. i also don’t remember the on-call fellow’s name making it difficult to page him, and since I’ve known him for 6 months it would be innappropriate to ask.

        in final news, every single new member of my patients care team that I encounter keeps reminding me that the patient is “VIP.” Yes, I am aware. I have been told 200 times. The situation has been noted.

  27. They found asbestos in my construction project, after the landlord said there was none. I feel super bad for all those workers who were happily sawcutting slabs, unknowingly inhaling the pulverized carcinogens.

    On the upside, I had a really good chocolate chip cookie today.

  28. I had an extremely productive day today where I got all my annoying errands done super early (special lightbulbs that can only be obtained at the hardware store! picking up my prescription! paying excise tax from 2009 on a car I no longer own in order to renew my driver’s license!) then went to a job interview for a job I don’t think I want, but discovered that’s a pretty good way to workshop your interview answers (I think I finally solved how to answer that “what’s your greatest weakness?” question we all hate, you guys!)

    Then I wandered around Target like a zombie buying toiletries until it was time to meet my husband and go grocery shopping and now I’m commenting on Videogum!

  29. I had a really good day. My boss let me work from home, which is always a plus. So I got to sleep in, work in sweatpants all day, and even the sarcastic e-mail I got from a bitchy co-worker didn’t seem so bad. I just finished a grant-writing class, and I’m working on my second grant application for the non-profit I work for. The first one I did was approved ($1000–yay!), so I’m hoping this one will work out too. Then my son and I went to see Parental Guidance tonight. Not a great movie, but terrible either. All in all, I’m happy.

  30. Today it was insanely cold and I had nothing to do all morning, so I talked to my best friend about this not-really-new-but-evolving totally-perfect-for-me-in-a-perfectly-weird-way relationship, and then my mom called, and while talking to them on the phone I DUSTED A SHELF which I have literally never done in the 2.5 years I’ve lived here and I also rehung a picture and organized some stuff and put away about a third of the things that still need to be put away from my two-week holiday vacation.

    I know my life must sound elegantly languorous, but really it’s just that I work part-time at a school and so I am very poor.

    I ate some cookies for breakfast and then had a mini session of singing along to Adele and Hedwig and The Angry Inch while faffing about my room in underwear and fancy high heels and getting ready for work (for which the high heels were removed). Work was good even though it was balls-out cold, only one kid got hit in the face with a ball during PE, and then I drank miso soup and played Banagrams during homework time. Got home and started talking to my relationshipy person and told me he wants to talk to me IN DEPTH about writing (I write…lots of things) (like Garrett Hedlund) (except the opposite) because apparently he’s THAT extraordinary. Then when we made plans to talk more later after he’s done studying, he sends me a link to “(Don’t You) Forget About Me” and I think I fell in love with him a little bit while the song was playing because FUCK ME I love The Breakfast Club and I really just can’t even comprehend how awesome he is. And did I mention he looks like Jon Snow? Just…brutally hot.

    And then I had french toast for dinner so today was pretty fucking great, thanks for asking!

  31. My yesterday was very good! Work was worky. There is a new guy who is shadowing a bunch of different people in the office so he was shadowing me yesterday for a couple hours, but it ended up just being us talking to some other coworkers for about an hour, which was good because I ended up learning a whole lot about organ transplants that I didn’t already know! It’s kind of awesome when that happens.

    And as a surprise gift from two friends, my husband and I both got free tickets to the UNC/Miami basketball game last night to go with two other friends. So those two came over to our (embarrassingly filthy) house before the game to drink bourbon, Tuaca and tequila, then we caught the shuttle and went to the game. UNC lost and we were in the very back row, but it was very, very fun. Roy Williams wore a very funny suit, apparently, but I couldn’t really see it from where we were sitting. I have a feeling this is going to be a season on par with 2010 for UNC sucking a whole lot. #sportsgum

    Then we came home, watched a couple episodes of Kids In The Hall and I went to bed. Yes!

    • I will always upvote Kids in the Hall.

    • I am pretty bummed about UNC’s season outlook…but we have been able to turn it around in the past. Nothing for me will ever be able to top being on campus when we won a national championship. I thought I might die because of the crowd, but it was still pretty awesome. I saw people wrestling while standing on a street sign.

  32. I’m always late to these! Okay, everyone! Happy Birthday! What’s up with all the birthday monsters? It’s cool because my post was gonna be birthday-related! I’m turning 30 in about a month and this week my husband sent out an evite for my party and, seriously you guys, no one can make it! This is after I had this whole thing with him where I was like, my birthday parties are always horrible because no one can ever make it for some reason so let’s just not have a party and he’s like, no you should, people will come! The worst was four years ago there was this other party that was happening on the same night (that I wasn’t invited to) and my friend told me i should move my party because (seriously she said this) “no one’s going to come to your party” so I moved it ahead a day and then there was a freak snow storm and EVERYONE canceled at the last minute…it was just me and two people at the bar and the two people who did come offered to go pick up my friend (the one who told me to move the party) and she was like “I’m already in a bubble bath”. so you can imagine how drunk I got that night.

    Anyway, all I’m saying is that it looks like no one is coming to my birthday party which would be fine if it wasn’t my 30th birthday, but seriously this is the last time I’m having a birthday party ever.

    Other than that, my day/week has been pretty good except I’m sick.

    • I have had similar luck with birthday parties in my life. I hope for your sake that your party either turns out to be surprisingly great, or that your husband has pulled a switcheroo and is making it seem like nobody can come to your party so he can take you out for a surprise laser tag party with balloons and a cupcake cake.

      • I hope so too! Two years ago I was on these antibiotics where I couldn’t drink and I was thinking it would be horrible to have a birthday without alcohol but it was surprisingly fun. Also I thought about the possibility of the switcheroo but I’m trying not to get my hopes up.

    • My 30th birthday was not what I expected. I invited a bunch of people but it ended up being just me, my fiance at the time (we got married this summer!), my friend and her boyfriend.

      Even though I was disappointed no one else came, I was grateful to spend it with people I care so much about. Hope you have a good birthday!!

  33. Yesterday:
    I was bored and had to deal with a smelly customer that I am pretty sure is a paranoid schizophrenic. I almost tossed my cookies at one point. I had copious amounts of vegetarian chili and tortilla chips that I feel like I weigh a thousand pounds but it was so delicious and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

    Today: It’s cold out and I wanna go back to bed because there are absolutely no customers and my typing is the loudest thing on this floor. It’s so dead this week, I actually brought in nail polish so I could do my own nails and have my apartment not smell like chemicals. On the plus side I am going out with my friends for dinner after this. How is Thai food? I hope I like it. Also there will be booze and for a antisocial, social-drinker, I can’t wait to have some wine in me.

  34. Thai food is so good. Insert whatever James Franco gif feels appropriate here, ’cause that shit is the best.

    I’m sorry that other people have the same shitty birthday party luck that I do, but I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t somewhat reassured by the fact that I’m not the only person who can’t seem to draw a flipping crowd for a birthday shindig.

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