Kelly: Hey, Gabe
Kelly: Happy new year!
Gabe: Happy New Year, Kelly
Gabe: are you still drunk?
Gabe: from three weeks ago?
Kelly: Yes
Kelly: But I have been drinking since then?
Kelly: So it might not be, like, FROM that night.
Gabe: kelly, be careful
Gabe: have some black coffee
Gabe: in the movies, you have some black coffee
Gabe: and you are right as rain
Kelly: Hahah
Kelly: Thank you, Gabe, I’ll give it a shot
Gabe: sober up
Gabe: it’s time to be at work
Kelly: How have you been? If not drunk?
Gabe: i’ve been fine, thank you so much for asking
Kelly: You are so welcome!
Gabe: VERY glad we avoided the fiscal cliff
Gabe: but also sad people aren’t still talking about it
Kelly: OMG me 2.
Kelly: What is the best joke you heard about it
Gabe: they were all 100% perfect

Kelly: I guess that’s the only right answer
Kelly: It’s lucky that everyone had the fiscal cliff and Kim and Kanye West to tweet about during their holidays because otherwise I’m not sure what anyone would’ve done
Kelly: So weird how we haven’t chatted at all since 2012, v. glad we have this time to catch up
Gabe: well, you have been drunk the whole time
Gabe: i’m not saying that’s all of it
Gabe: but i def feel like that’s part of it
Kelly: Oh right
Kelly: My bad!
Gabe: i really need you to get your head in the game
Gabe: so that you can explain to me
Gabe: what the TCA’s are
Kelly: Ok, let me try
Kelly: I’ll start with what I know
Kelly: TCA stands for Television Critics Association
Kelly: And now I’ll move on to what I’m guessing
Kelly: It is an event that happens twice a year (?) summer and winter, and it takes place in one big room over the course of one week
Kelly: Every day the television critics take their seats and the casts of different shows come in to perform a skit for them
Kelly: And whoever has the best skit wins
Gabe: that’s pretty much what i thought
Gabe: here’s a question
Gabe: how many television critics are there? like, in the world? four?
Gabe: here’s something i’ve never heard in a single conversation ever
Gabe: “did you hear what that television critic said about that show?”
Kelly: hahahah
Gabe: “i don’t know whether to watch that show or not, it’s been getting a lot of mixed reviews from the many television critics who I read regularly”
Gabe: also, even if there was such a thing as a television critic
Gabe: wouldn’t it just, you know, criticize television?
Gabe: why does it need to ask the television questions first?

Kelly: Yeah, I don’t know
Kelly: And why do they need to ask the questions during this thing
Kelly: Can’t they ask questions anytime?
Kelly: And how do you get invited
Kelly: And also: I have only seen people talking about what other people have been saying about what’s going on inside this TCA.
Kelly: No first-hand critic accounts
Kelly: Where are all the critics?
Gabe: there aren’t any, i think is the problem
Gabe: the room is empty
Kelly: Oh my god.
Gabe: it’s just the cast of Grimm
Gabe: alone on a stage
Gabe: is the idea that a “television critic” whatever that is
Gabe: will give a show a better review
Gabe: depending on whether or not
Gabe: they like the answers the cast of Grimm gave
Gabe: to their questions?!
Kelly: ??!?!
Gabe: “The show is a little hit or miss at times, but trust me as a television critic when I tell you that you should watch because it was neat to me to get to ask people who are on TV questions in this conference room last winter.”
Kelly: Hahaha
Kelly: Yeah, it’s weird also because this is, or must be, I don’t know, an event set up by the TCA
Kelly: So they’re like
Kelly: “We need this” ?
Kelly: “Present yourselves to us, we are critics”
Gabe: the television critics created their own association, and the first order of business was how do we ask the television questions, because you can’t just review a thing
Kelly: “Come out of the TV box, I have a few things I’ve been wondering about, like whether or not you and Rashida are friends in real life.”
Gabe: “what does rashida smell like?”
Gabe: “i don’t know, I’m on Grimm?”
Kelly: hahahah
Kelly: “YOU LOSE”

Gabe: who pays for all of this?
Kelly: That is a good question
Gabe: does it cost money to go to the TCAs? do the cast of Grimm get paid? Other boring questions?
Gabe: follow the money, kelly
Kelly: It would probably cost a lot to pay everyone in television
Gabe: stop chatting and go follow the money
Kelly: Maybe the TCA has dues? And all their dues go to this TCA thing?
Kelly: Maybe the TCA is just a bunch of television celebrity fanatics who organize events to ask them questions and pay for it all themselves
Kelly: “I don’t care who it is, as long as they’re on TV and I can ask them about it”
Kelly: I’ll tell you one thing that I DO know, and that is that I would hate going to this thing if I were on TV.
Gabe: WHAT? WHY?
Kelly: And it would cost like
Kelly: A billion dollars to get me there
Gabe: also uh
Gabe: i would hate going to this thing full stop.
Gabe: i do not have to be on TV to hate going to this thing
Kelly: Well yeah
Kelly: But they’re not going to invite some nobody
Kelly: Or maybe they are?
Kelly: I don’t know
Gabe: right, i mean, that sounds right, but there is no way to know one way or the other
Gabe: since it is a complete mystery what this thing even is
Gabe: it might be nothing BUT nobodies
Gabe: it’s just a bunch of people pretending to be television critics, whatever those are
Gabe: shouting questions at a guy pretending to be Damon Lindelof
Gabe: about what kind of snacks they have on the set of Grimm
Gabe: and then Deadline posts an Instagram about it or something
Gabe: haha, i am looking at twitter right now
Gabe: and i am seeing cool tweets like this:
Gabe: “It is not Season 4″ – Jason Bateman on new Arrested Development episodes premiering on Netflix in May.
Gabe: i take back everything i said
Gabe: the TCAs are important and i love them
Gabe: HOW ELSE WOULD JASON BATEMAN BE ABLE TO TELL US THAT NEW EPISODES OF ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT ARE “NOT SEASON 4″ WHATEVER THAT EVEN MEANS
Kelly: You’re right
Kelly: It’s like TV Christmas up on the blogs this week.
Kelly: I also heard that Mindy Kaling thinks her show is going to be good even though there have been a lot of casting changes.
Kelly: If it weren’t for the TCA, I would have no idea WHAT she thought.
Gabe: MINDY KALING ADDRESSES CASTING CHANGES BETWEEN THE FIRST AND SECOND HALVES OF SEASON ONE OF HER SITCOM ON FOX AT THIS YEAR’S TCA’S!
Kelly: hahaha
Gabe: i was actually typing that
Gabe: before you said anything about mindy
Gabe: let the record show
Gabe: your honor
Kelly: Well that makes sense
Kelly: You cannot talk about the 2013 TCAs without bringing up what Mindy said about the casting changes.
Gabe: without the TCAs people would just have to watch
Gabe: The Mindy Project and decide for themselves
Gabe: whether they noticed and/or cared about casting changes
Kelly: Hahah right
Kelly: “Hmm, the role of Mindy’s best friend seems decreased since the first part of this season and I guess it’s ok? I just wish I knew how Mindy felt.”

Gabe: god
Gabe: LET ME IN THERE!
Gabe: i have so many questions for the TV
Gabe: WHAT IS GRIMM? DOES ANYONE WATCH GRIMM?
Gabe: IS GRIMM A CHARACTER? IS THERE ONE NAMED GRIMM?
Gabe: i’ll take my answers off the air
Kelly: Grimm is about a female aspiring rapper who just moved to a new high school I think
Kelly: Her last name is Grimm and it’s also her rap name.
Gabe: is Michael Scott coming back to Grimm?
Kelly: Looks like no, but could be yes!
Gabe: Jason Bateman, is this season 4 of Grimm?!
Kelly: Looks like no, but could be yes!
Gabe: another great TCAs see you at the next TCAs
Gabe: now get out there and enjoy television!
Kelly: We had a lot of fun but more importantly we learned a lot.
Gabe: that’s the TCA’s slogan
Kelly: hahah
Kelly: It only makes sense maybe twice a year
Kelly: But that’s at least more often than the TCA itself.

Comments (9)
  1. Is that why you stopped recapping? Because the TCA was trying to recruit? If that is the case I am totally over my slightly sour grapes. Good call.

  2. Well I learned a new thing today! There is something called the TCA, and they meet up to something something TV! Right?

  3. WHAT IS IN EVERYONE’S WATER BOTTLES?

  4. Ha, I actually do have a friend with whom I talk about the AV Club critics and their reviews. ( We both like Todd VanDerWerff!)

  5. Why did Madam Tussaud’s pose those wax figures so weirdly? And you’d think they’d know better than to make Blake and Adam at such different scales.

  6. Followup: When is Season 1 of Go On coming out on DVD?

  7. I watch and like Grimm!!!!

  8. Grimm is a man called Grimm in the show called Grimm who is the latest in a long line of Grimms whose job is to kill furries and scalies and such and to go to the tca’s and kill all the television critics.Sadly the current Grimm is a bit of a wuss and simply answers the questions of the furries and scalies.He still kills all the television critics though so its not all bad.Although we are all just waiting for The Monroe Show.

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