“You’ll never amount to anything,” they said. “You don’t have any obvious skills. You’re mediocre at sports and I don’t even think you like them very much anyway,” they said. “It’s hard to say whether or not you’d be good in school if you would just try for two seconds — take advantage of your teachers’ willingness to stay after class to help you, or, for goodness sake, just do the homework they assign and pay attention to the lesson they’re already teaching you in class — because as far as we can tell you have never tried for two seconds,” they said. “All you do is goof around with your friends. Everyone wants the best for you. You know, it’s like Tyra Banks said on that episode of America’s Next Top Model — we wouldn’t be yelling at you if we didn’t love you, and we wouldn’t be telling you you’ll never amount to anything if we didn’t think that it is only because of your own inaction. What are you doing with your life? Do you have a plan? Are you even paying attention to what I’m saying now?” they said.


Comments (10)
  1. I love how camera guy is basically saying, “This cannot wait! My education in this class can be put on hold for all I care! James,* show the public what they need to see!”

    *creative licensing used

  2. When I was a kid, bored in class, I would see how long I could hold my breath. I topped out at 2 min 30 seconds in biology. It was very exciting, and if video recording equipment or the internet existed in those days I am sure it would be on the internet. Thankfully it is not, and I still have some dignity.

    Also, I never did pay attention in science class and got an English B.A. which pretty much made me the least employable college graduate of ’04. Pay attention, kids!

  3. “I don’t mean to brag, but I have no gag reflex”

  4. Fake and Hydgaytion

  5. Does he empty his bladder the same way? Asking for a Courtney Cox

  6. This must be our generation’s crushing beer cans on your forehead.

  7. And now we know why Big Kev was the most popular guy on the football team.

  8. The related videos at the end of this are very upsetting.

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