If you’ve been following the Gerard Depardieu news, read a book. Guys! You don’t have to follow everything. Life is about making choices. Anyway, after the election of France’s new president, Francois Hollande, the socialist government (actually socialist, not, like, FOX News socialist) raised tax rates on everybody including particularly heavy burdens on the country’s rich. So Gerard Depardieu said he was moving to Belgium. Haha. Uh, OK? Why are we even talking about this? I do not remember the last time anyone was too worried about where Gerard Depardieu put his couch full of farts. (You KNOW this guy’s couch is just lousy with captured farts.) But then Vladimir Putin extended an offer to Gerard Depardieu to come live in Russia. WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON HERE? Shouldn’t Vladimir Putin be controlling and manipulating his puppet government rather than dealing with the taxation/citizenship issues of Whoopi Goldberg’s co-star in Bogus? Or at least be out hunting black bears with no shirt on? And then Gerard Depardieu accepted this offer, and now he has a Russian passport, and here he is posing with it in one of his normal shirts. This whole thing makes sense. I’m mostly just glad to know that we’ve cured all of the diseases and ended all the wars. This seriously feels like Putin’s attempt to get something going on Tumblr. Look at Gerard Depardieu’s face! He’s loving this whole thing, he does not look like a man who has been told that his head will be cut off if he does not hug his binky tight and do what he is told. Everyone’s doing great. 2013: best year yet?! (Via Animal.)

Comments (44)
  1. He’s also Mr. Cool Shirt

  2. That picture is huge and he is also huge but I feel like he should be in my shirt pocket as my little gnome.

  3. So he’s one of King Arthur’s Knights now?

  4. OK, so he doesn’t want to pay socialist taxes, so he moves to Belgium? Fine, but he only moved a mile in. That’s kind of a wussy way to do it isn’t it? I mean go out and go big. Also, Russia no one wants a passport to live in your country. Everyone is still trying to get out (even the billionaires) and just 20 years ago you would have taxed Gerard at 100%.

  5. Speaking of books: anyone reading any good books?!

    I just read The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer (kind of good and kind of the worst but definitely creepy!) and now I’m reading Silence of the Lambs (WAY better than I thought it would be).

    Anyone? Books? So we don’t have to talk about Mr. Cool Passport? (Unless you want to talk about Mr. Cool Passport because whatever do you what you want I guess.)

    • I bought a book called An Atlas of Impossible Longing because I liked the title and the cover art was cool and it is SO BORING. Please don’t read this book. I’m giving it a really sturdy try, because I don’t like to admit defeat and because I need to feel justified in judging books by their covers just because it so defiitely something you should NOT do, but ho boy! Is it ever not interesting!

      • I almost bought a book by a psychoanalyst/poet called Dark at the End of the Tunnel cause I really liked the title but maybe I won’t do that now because apparently buying books based on the title is a bad idea.

    • I am still reading The Terror and it is still very good! I am also reading Pillars of the Earth and that is also very good but I feel awkward carrying in my purse as it is giganormous and it’s ok to leave things at home sometimes, when you need to bring a lunch as well.

    • A few months ago I read The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon. That is one of the greatest books I have ever read, and I would highly recommend it. Really engrossing from start to finish. Its like 650 pages long and I still wish there was more.

      After that I read the Hunger Games and then watched the movie and man, the movie really cleans it up to the point where the gravity of the book is kind of lost. The movie Hunger Games look like fun compared to the book Hunger Games.

      • I got a free copy of Kavalier & Clay from work but haven’t started it yet cause it’s real big.

        I never read/watched Hunger Games because my love for Battle Royale (book + movies) is too big to cheat on it with another kids-killing-each-other-dystopian-nightmare novel.

        • I bought Kavalier and Clay on a whim and almost didn’t because of the length, but trust me, as a guy who put off watching The Godfather for years solely because it was 3+ hours long (and I still havent seen 2001 because of this very reason), this is worth getting through and doesn’t drag on.

        • Kavalier and Clay is great! But I think Yiddish Policemen’s Union is better? I really like the hard-boiled detective thing mixed in with (really) alternate history, and I think the structure/flow of it is tighter — the Antarctica section + big time jump in Kavalier and Clay didn’t work for me, even though the rest of it is great no duh.

        • Kavalier & Clay is excellent, you’ll feel like you’re only reading a book that’s kind of big instead of super big.

      • Before Bookgum moved to its final resting place on, the last book we did on the old site was Kavalier & Clay; if you like checking things out, check it out:

    • I always want to talk about books! I’m reading Wolf Hall, and it’s pretty good so far. Slow sometimes but only because it’s super ambitious/expansive. I know there is at least one other monster who is reading it right now, and I’ll bet there are others who have read/are planning to read, since Hilary Mantel is just sweeping all the awards of late.

      I’m also watching Twin Peaks for the first time, but a couple years ago, I got curious and read the whole Wikipedia for the show and I remember who kills Laura Palmer :( . Why am I so dumb/why couldn’t I have been at least dumb enough to forget that spoiler-infested article I read on Wikipedia.

    • I’m reading I Curse the River of Time, by Per Petterson, a bleak, dismal Norwegian drama about a cold distant mother and his loser son. Set in 1989.
      So good.

      • Oh man. Adding that to my Goodreads. I really liked Out Stealing Horses.

        • That was a great book even though for like the next month all I wanted to do was stare out my window at the bleak snowy landscape.

          • Since you asked:
            Currently wrapped up in The Last Good Kiss by James Crumley. Its a pretty, prettaaayyyyy pretteeee good Raymond Chandler type jammer.
            Also working my way through The Fatal Shore by Robert Hughes. I’m a couple hundred pages in so maybe I’m 1/3 or 1/4 through with it? Its heavy, but very very well written. Glad I’m reading it. But I needed a break from it because it is some bleak ass shit, ya heard?
            I’ve kind of given up on the auto-bio of mark twain, but I’m 300 or so pages in so it seems like I should try to find the time to finish it so that my effort was not wasted. Also I’m a couple hundred pages in to “death on the installment plan” by louis-ferdinand celine but I dont much care for it.

    • I’m reading John Dies at the End which I just found out was already made into a movie this past year. It’s pretty good so far.

      • I just finished the sequel (one upper?). I did not like is as much as John Dies at the End. They are both stupid and fun but the first one had a few good twists and a better pace. Still, I recommend the sequel when you finish. It was fun.

    • @ “eric shorey”
      I read the laura palmer book in high school and hated it. isnt that written by david lynch’s daughter? its pretty bad. she calls the jizz “the sticky” right?
      I remember loving the silence of the lamb book. That plus the red dragon book and the one about the blimp and the terrorists are all really good pulpy trashy fun books. I hated the hannibal book though and returned it for a refund, only time I’ve ever done that with a book I purchased

      • Yeah, the Laura Palmer book is pretty gross (and I could never tell if it was intentionally badly written because Laura is kinda dumb and 16 years old or if it just wasn’t very good) but I’m into how strange it is that Lynch’s daughter wrote that book considering, well, you know.

        I kind of want to read Red Dragon next! But maybe I’ll read something real.

        I did just buy Monstrous Feminine by Barbara Creed which is feminist and psychoanalytic interpretations of horror movies. So that might come before more adventures of Dr. Lecter.

        • I’m just re-watching twin peaks again now that it’s on Netflix. I’m living for the Donna-Madeline-James love triangle and Leland singing Marzidoats and fainting all the time.

    • I have been reading lots of picture books (for work mostly, but also because I love them) and the book for my kid’s book group at work, and they have all been good. I am glad that I get to choose what we read so I am not stuck reading things I hate. As far as adult books, I am reading This is How You Lose Her by Junot Diaz, and I like it so far. I just got Jasper Fforde’s The Last Dragonslayer, and I can’t wait to read it!

    • I made a New Year’s Resolution to thoughtfully read more, at least 25 pages/1chapter a day. Yesterday I finished Howards End (speaking of socialism), which I’ve read before but WOWEE is it good! Tonight I start On Beauty, which is evidently inspired by Howards End. I’ve had some trouble finishing Zaide Smith in the past, so I’m apprehensive.
      Also, Kavalier & Clay is the second most wonderful book of all time! Why hasn’t everyone read it already?

    • I just finished Narcopolis last week-ish and I really, truly loved it. It’s a novel about the life of a hijra woman in Bombay in the 70s-90s (hijra are India’s 3rd sex, something I didn’t know about before I read this book), and it follows her as Bombay experiences the end of opium and the entrance of heroin as the drug of choice for its addicts. It’s heavy! But just really gripping and human but also sort of dreamy? I am bad at describing things!

    • I’m reading Shantaram for the second time (humble brag). It’s been out for a bit, and everyone loves it, but seriously, if you haven’t read that thing yet, cancel everything until you do.

    • I’m reading The Friday Night Knitting Club because a couple of my friends talked me into it. I can hardly get through it, it’s so sappy.

  6. Is he also a russian nesting doll now?

  7. I think we’re missing the main point, which is that you can get a Russian passport in like 5 minutes, apparently?? They’re a step away from giving them out as prizes in cereal boxes.

  8. More like pissport, right guys?

  9. He eats feminist punk rockers for lunch.

  10. Apparently Brigitte Bardot was thinking of moving to Russia if two elephants with tubercliosis are euthanized; she used Gerard Depardieu’s change of citizenship to make the statement. I’m sure it’s got nothing to do with low taxes and the fact that every so often, the Russian Army likes to blow up Muslims (it’s funny because she’s a colossal racist).

  11. The wackiest thing is that (apparently) Gerard got offered to be Siberia’s Minister of Culture.

  12. That’s the face he made when Putin told him they’d be having ice cream after.

  13. Isn’t this the guy who peed on a plane?

  14. You know that blanket’s riddled with smallpox.

  15. Maybe they’re filming the russian version of the hobbit?

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