HELLO, WELCOME TO THE YEAR 2013. THIS YEAR WILL BE MUCH LIKE MANY OF THE OTHER YEARS. As you know, Videogum is a reputable news source written by professional journalists, so when an actor decides to pee in public WE HAVE GOT THE SCOOP. We’re basically like one of those news vans that zooms around the city getting all of the scoops. We don’t have one of those vans, but we are like one of those vans. If the way those vans works is they just had to wait and read about someone peeing on another website and then repurpose that information for our own website. WHAT?! Do you think the news van INVENTS news? That’s now–forget it, can we just–OK. So, Bronson Pelletier, who I guess was one of the base jumping puppies in Twilight, peed in public. Like, hard. Like, in public public. Like, on a rug in a baggage claim area at Los Angeles International Airport. He’s OUR generation’s Gerard Depardieu, who was HIS generation’s Hugh Jackman. Bronson Pelletier was very drunk. It is actually a little bit sad this story. But also when he was originally accused of peeing in public he denied it and said the actor in him didn’t take over. Which is why it is kind of funny that a cell phone video of him just straight peeing so hard right there in the middle of everything has surfaced because tell it to the judge, man. Anyway, sorry to all of the teenagers for whom this day is the hardest day in the whole history of human experience, I’m sure. Or maybe you guys like this kind of stuff? I don’t know anything about children anymore. Do you like the pocket-warmed Werther’s Originals with or without little bits of Kleenex stuck to them?

Honestly, I think the voice of the guy who is filming this stifling his bro-laugh while filming a drunk stranger peeing is way grosser than the actual peeing. (Via HyperVocal.)

Comments (23)
  1. Related: I let the cookie monster in me take over sometimes…

  2. Take that, Bronson Pinchot.

  3. hey there, king of MS Paint, checking in.

  4. I’ve never seen somebody act so blase about getting flecks of pee all over their new Timbs.

  5. The weird thing about this is that I know a fair amount of people that pee where-ever, whenever they have to. Once a guy walked by and said “Hey, are you peein’?… that’s cool.”

    So I dunno, maybe it is a thing that people do and we should all be totally okay with it.

    • Basically what we need is some kind of medical exemption for people with prostate problems and such. They could carry a pee-in-public license. Then, later, society would be ready to admit that enough people just really want to pee in public and it doesn’t really hurt anybody and, state by state, we could just relax and let it go.

    • Who do you know that pees on carpets? Public carpets?
      You should probably stop knowing these people.

      • Seriously. I am pro-peeing-outside. Totally for it. On New Years, this discussion came up as there were lines for the bathroom and I have a decent back yard. I was happiest when a bunch of us were heading out for an adventure when I headed to hte bathroom, stopped myself, meant to muttter, but exclaimed, “No, I want to pee outside.” It was met with cheers.

        But inside? Really?

      • wellll… the outdoor peeing is what usually happens. But much like this guy, indoor peeing only seems to happen when they’re drunk.

        but thankfully I don’t hang out with these people.

  6. If this were a fetish airport, someone would have run under the stream really fast!

  7. More Like Burineson PeeLetMePeeEr Downer Jr

  8. Celebrities! They’re just like us!

  9. “Now boarding all passengers in zone NUMBER ONE.”

  10. Gabe, I bet a lot more children would take your pocket-warmed Werthers if you DID drive around town in a van.

  11. I’m so glad I’m not this guy’s mom.

  12. I think I got a hangover just watching this guy. I want to give him some saltines and Gatoraide.

  13. LAEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXCUUUUUUSEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

  14. I feel bad for this kid, where are his friends?

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.