HELLO, WELCOME TO THE YEAR 2013. THIS YEAR WILL BE MUCH LIKE MANY OF THE OTHER YEARS. As you know, Videogum is a reputable news source written by professional journalists, so when an actor decides to pee in public WE HAVE GOT THE SCOOP. We’re basically like one of those news vans that zooms around the city getting all of the scoops. We don’t have one of those vans, but we are like one of those vans. If the way those vans works is they just had to wait and read about someone peeing on another website and then repurpose that information for our own website. WHAT?! Do you think the news van INVENTS news? That’s now–forget it, can we just–OK. So, Bronson Pelletier, who I guess was one of the base jumping puppies in Twilight, peed in public. Like, hard. Like, in public public. Like, on a rug in a baggage claim area at Los Angeles International Airport. He’s OUR generation’s Gerard Depardieu, who was HIS generation’s Hugh Jackman. Bronson Pelletier was very drunk. It is actually a little bit sad this story. But also when he was originally accused of peeing in public he denied it and said the actor in him didn’t take over. Which is why it is kind of funny that a cell phone video of him just straight peeing so hard right there in the middle of everything has surfaced because tell it to the judge, man. Anyway, sorry to all of the teenagers for whom this day is the hardest day in the whole history of human experience, I’m sure. Or maybe you guys like this kind of stuff? I don’t know anything about children anymore. Do you like the pocket-warmed Werther’s Originals with or without little bits of Kleenex stuck to them?
Honestly, I think the voice of the guy who is filming this stifling his bro-laugh while filming a drunk stranger peeing is way grosser than the actual peeing. (Via HyperVocal.)