#2013 (Via LaughingSquid.)
Great, just wait for babies to start falling off those things then everyone is going to have to have their Roomba recalled.
What happens when the Roomba breaks? Will everyone’s babies be recalled?
that baby is like “fun, but it’d be better on shrooms”
Baby on a Roomba. I know, I know. It’s serious
Parents will go to great lengths to brainwash their children into thinking that cleaning is fun.
Is it wrong that I want to father children specifically to do this? (I think I know the answer, but I don’t care)
The Roomba is like the gateway drug. Before long we’ll see that kid on a trampoline.
I cannot put my finger on it, but this video made me feel very uncomfortable. Maybe because the baby is so bald, despite its size? Maybe because I watched it without the sound on? It is the baby’s disturbing lack of affect? Is it because the whole time, I was thinking that I wished the baby were a cat?
I will say the baby’s head is a bit…strangely shaped. And this video would have been more awesome with a cat on a roomba.
I tried so hard to get my cats to ride on my Roomba. They declined. And the Roomba’s dirt detect light kept going on and it tried to spot-clean them. It was a strained relationship all around.
This looks like fun but what is the deal with babies? I was at a New Year’s Eve party where a couple of people who were there are pregnant and the whole night people were trying to talk me into having a baby (so our babies could be friends, obv) but I was (of course) drinking the whole time and my one friend was like, “are you gonna be able to stop drinking while you’re pregnant?” and I’m like “you can have a half glass of wine a day, right?” which I think is code for “I’m not ready yet to have a kid, quit bugging me about it!” Anyway, I guess it just seems like people who have babies just want other people to have babies too and I’m not sure why.
Why, in descending order of likelihood:
1) Because they want to be reassured they made the right choice
2) They want their entire social circle to be at the same stages of life as they are at exactly the same time so that they aren’t stuck at home while their friends go out and do baby-free things like concerts and bars
3) Because they can’t wrap their heads around the fact that what made them happy might not make others happy, and that we all make our own choices and they are equally valid
4) Because they are uncomplicatedly joyful and genuinely think you want their opinion on what you do with your ovaries because they clearly haven’t thought it through.
I cannot upvote this enough.
Two Christmases ago, my sister was 8+ months pregnant, and the first night I saw her she had some alcoholic egg nog. Her reasoning was, “The kid is already done in there.” The next morning she had coffee. I love my family so much.
Since I’ve made this comment, the advertizing gods have gifted me with a sidebar ad for maternity clothes. My sister was the pregnant one, advertizing gods, not me! And my nephew is now almost two years old (his bday is Friday!!)! No one in the flanny family needs your goods! Get a life!
This reminds me of the scene from Sex and the City when Samantha throws herself a shower…
“I don’t have a baby, everybody drink!”
I seriously cannot stand people pushing parenthood* on others. Being a parent is NOT for everyone, whether that is because they just don’t want kids or because they would be horrible parents.
Also, I don’t think people stop to consider that maybe a couple has been trying to have kids, but haven’t been able to, and maybe it’s a painful topic to discuss over cocktails at some party.
I’m on the fence about having kids, but infants terrify me, so I’m hoping we can adopt a toddler if we decide that we want kids.
*Don’t worry Kelly, you can continue to push Parenthood on us. Especially now that all old seasons are on Netflix.
I totally agree with this whole thread, but what’s so crazy is that I think they all know that I want to have kids eventually, but that if I wanted them now, we’d either be trying (and not fucking telling them about it) or not able to conceive (and then very seriously not fucking telling them about it) not to mention that we got married two months ago and who wants to have kids that quickly? One of the couples who wasn’t at the party is getting married in June and the woman is very vocal about how she wants to get pregnant on the honeymoon (she’s at an age where the sooner the better just to be safe) but I’m not in any way like that. Also the couple that was the most vocal about “you should have a baby” isn’t even married yet and the woman is 23 and they’re claiming it was on purpose (which I’m not officially questioning, but come on)(the guy is 32ish) and so probably they just don’t like the idea that we’ll still get to go out drinking to clubs and bars and concerts and they’ll be taking care of their kid. Whatever the reason, it was just super weird and I just kept going back downstairs to play flip cup.
At our wedding shower, one of our parents kept trying to get us to hold some lady’s baby. We are at our wedding shower. The last thing I want to do is hold a distant aunt or cousin’s baby. Can we please get married, and just be married for a while, and then you start talking to us about kids? Or don’t. That would be fine too.
We have a dog, and I constantly remind our parents that that is as close to a grandchild as they are going to have for a while.
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