It must be nice to be Zooey Deschanel, walking around with a Salinger title character’s name, goin’ out with the lead singer of everyone’s favorite band in college, acting in The Happening without any loss of credibility, starting an actually good band that everyone likes, being a famous person without seeming like a narcissist, and just generally running around completing a bucket list of everyone else’s idle fantasies, just for fun. And now, as if to gently remind us that no normal “rules” apply to her, Zooey has written and recorded a song about cotton for a cotton commercial, and for American audiences — not one of those “secret” commercials celebrities do in other countries that they think we don’t know about. Why not?:

Excuse me, but I’m going to go buy something made out of cotton now. The song is available for free download on the cotton site, though downloading a song about cotton might be pushing it JUST a tad when it comes to Zooey fandom. But just a tad. She’s Zooey Deschanel, bitch, darling. She can do anything.

Comments (31)
  1. Damn you Ben Gibbard!

  2. The cotton industry needs Zooey to write a song for them? Really? Because hemp baja gear sales are up or something?

  3. twilly  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 +3

    I have held secret hopes her and sister Emily will start a singing group.

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    • how DARE you dislike patented INDIE-VOICE!
      what do you listen to? smooth jazz or some shit?

      I’ll get off your lawn now.

  5. J  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 -1

    Sounds like a weird white girl Louis Armstrong impression or something. Stop doing that, Zooey Deschanel.

  6. There are commercials for cotton now?!

  7. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 +10

    The blandness of our lives.

  8. there’s really no need for Katy Perry.

  9. I smell a hit single for the next She & Him record.

  10. She & Him is like the new Barry Manilow. What will be next? Bandaids, Kleenex, Durex? The options are endless.

  11. I want to hate her so much, but alas, I cannot, she’s just too cute and adorable.

  12. Max  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 0

    Can I assassinate Ben yet? Can I?

  13. the cotton industry could save itself a lot of money by cutting its advertising department. same for milk and eggs.

    never in the history of ever has this conversation taken place:

    1: you heard of this ‘cotton’?
    2: yea, saw a commercial for it. can’t get the song out of my head.
    1: me too. thinkin’ of trying it out.
    2: let’s google it. how do you spell it?

    never happened. the shit’s everywhere.

  14. Marf  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 0

    I can’t help but approve of everything she does.

    Zooey Deschanel could do crack and I would applaud her.

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  16. I just came! Whoo! Ashley Schaeffer BMWs!

  17. Zooey Deschanel could totally succeed in turning my full-on lesbian.
    I am not sure if it’s because she’s outrageously adorable or because she is named after Zooey Glass and that’s the coolest thing you can have happen.

  18. ad  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 +1

    I thought this would be for menstrual pads or something.

  19. i think everyone can agree that zooey is unreal! here’s another article about her & the cotton campaign: http://www.stylecaster.com/news/1936/zooey-deschanel-the-touch-the-feel-of-cotton/DWRcMFdj

  20. There’s another one with some country singer.
    Why Zooey, why?

  21. Miranda Lambert did one of these too. I feel so much better about cotton now.

  22. Cindy Allison  |   Posted on Apr 20th, 2009 0

    Yeah, but the clothes are awesome. I hear they are by Dear Creatures of Los Angeles.
    Very Chic.

  23. DINOsaura  |   Posted on Jun 18th, 2009 0

    I was actually looking for the singer…so who’s singing? They obviously don’t want the attention.

  24. I have to say that her singing is as monotone and wooden as her acting. I am not a fan, but no one can be liked by everyone!

    Watching her act is like watching Henry Fonda pick blueberries….lol

  25. RocknRhonda  |   Posted on Sep 29th, 2009 0

    Where can one get the shoes Zooey is wesring in the magazine cotton ad?

  26. Same vocal sound as Helen Reddy, who sang through her nose while declaring she is “Woman”

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