ohmygod

Oh my god, I don’t know. Uhhh. Christmas? Christmas trees. Tree trunks. Legs. THE ROCK’S LEGS! AHHHHHH! Ok, ummmm, holiday parties! Holiday parties are fun. You get to wear a nice dress, your friends all look prettier than they normally do, someone else buys snacks and you get to eat them, maybe a friend makes you a cocktail or hands you a glass of legnog– NOOOOOOOO! Ahhh, ok, what else…SNOW! Snow won’t make us think of any completely horrifying muscles that you can’t even understand at all, even though you’ve been staring at a picture (that was tweeted with the hashtags #5KneeSurgeries #RupturedDiscs #StillFindAWay) (which is #soperfect #jesuschrist) of them for what seems like days, on anyone’s legs. Snow snow snow. Is there a better form of precipitation than snow? If there is, I don’t know it! I wish it were snowing right now. We could stare at it from our windows, or go outside and catch some on our tongues, or take a walk around a snowy park using our bulging, veiny nightmare legsAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! This is a nightmare!!! Froggy Fresh! Uhh, ice cream! Ice cream thief! Jesus tortilla! Videogum! Videogum posts! This Videogum post about a picture The Rock tweeted of his leg–NOOOOOOOO! I CAN’T DO IT! ALL I CAN LEG OF IS LEGS! LEG YOURSELF AND LEG AWAY FROM THIS LEG! LEGS! LEGS! AHHHH! (Via BuzzFeed.) (Full-size leg photo after the leg I MEAN JUMP.)

Comments (24)
  1. Those are some straight-up Street Fighter muscles.

  2. man, y’all. i work out. like, 4 a week, usually. and i cannot get this type of definition. i still have tiny baby love handles. and i see stuff like this, and am just FLOORED by the amount of time and work that it takes to make your body do that. also roids. and muscle milk. neither of which i ingest.

  3. You know how people get belly button lint? Do you think that he gets leg lint?

  4. That’s what I assume every Videogum Monster’s legs look like.

  5. His feet seem disproportionately long for how short his legs are.

  6. Pretty sure only The Rock and The Hulk workout with a monster truck tire.

    • No, this is the definition you get from moving the giant bronze Africa from stump to stump.*

      *A joke that works with my insane story below and should ring a bell with anyone who enjoys a good strongman competition on ESPN, especially in the late 1990s.

  7. It’s been really nice having The Rock as my new best friend. No longer do I laugh alone with salad but, instead, with my new best friend, The Rock. He’s also just fantastic about lifting things for me. And I think it’s pretty obvious that he’s really benefited from my instructions to “lift with your legs, The Rock!” whenever he helps me move stuff around the house. It’s a creepy price to pay for cool new living room rearrangements, but it’s kind of worth it.

    • I was wondering what you’d decided to do with the wall-size mirror and tire! I think the last time we talked you were still thinking of putting the tire in the opposite corner from the kettlebells, with the rope on top of it. But it works! And again, love the astroturf carpet. Super glad you took my advice on that one.

  8. It could be worse. He could have eight of those legs.

  9. This photo is less gross than the Courtney Stodden one.

  10. Michael K from dlisted called them Ropa Vieja legs. I couldn’t have said it better.

  11. My comment is awaiting moderation! I barely mentioned hot’single’mingle’dates.com at all, I don’t understand.
    This is what purgatory feels like. I finally understand why the Catholics finally decided it wasn’t fair to babies.

  12. Your gift for segues is a blessing AND a curse

  13. Where are his knees? I honestly can’t find them!

  14. I love the rock

  15. I love everything about this leg-, er post! POST.

  16. I know I’ve seen those legs before:

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