There is a Justin Bieber sitcom in development at ABC because apparently someone over there realized they wanted a whole bunch of money. “Man, a whole lot of money would be awesome, but I wish I didn’t have to think too hard to come up with an idea about how to get it,” they said. “Well, we can do a Justin Bieber thing? That would make money,” said someone else. “THAT’S PERFECT!” And then America’s new favorite sitcom was born. From TVGuide:

Never say never: ABC is once again developing a sitcom that would be based on pop superstar Justin Bieber’s life. The single-camera comedy was first set up at the network last year, but it’s been revived and is still under consideration for next season.

Bieber would executive produce the show with his manager, Scooter Braun. Also on board are executive producers Matt Wolpert and Ben Nedivi, who are writing the script. The untitled family show would center on Bieber’s background before he got famous. The comedy is about a future pop star’s awkward teenage years and his unorthodox family.

Wait, what? So it’s just a sitcom about a normal kid and his weird family? Holy moly, this idea is even more genius than I originally imagined! But: WHO IS GOING TO PLAY PRE-FAME JUSTIN BIEBER?! (The obvious choice for the role is Justin Bieber himself, and that might also be a key piece to the money puzzle, but let’s move forward assuming that Justin Bieber is not going to put on a wig and play a younger version of himself.) (Though it would be very easy.) (And he should.) Maybe VINCENT GALLO? Hahaha. Just kidding. We’ve found the one role Vincent Gallo could not pull off: young Justin Bieber. But if not Vincent, then who?! Tilda Swinton, I guess? The boy from Modern Family? Chandler Bing? I DON’T KNOW, TELL ME!

Comments (32)
  1. I think Ellen Page is about set to ride her career into the television sunset.

  2. ABC is once again developing a sitcom that would be based on pop superstar Justin Bieber’s life?

  3. Helen Mirren. Definitely Helen Mirren.

  4. Creepy Glenn from Mad Men.

  5. I just want to see a sitcom where, in the closing credits, the name Scooter Braun appears as Executive Producer.

  6. The Olsen twins. When one of them gets tired from doing too many takes, they can just tag the other one in.

  7. Crystal the Monkey?

  8. Tig Notaro would be great.

  9. The job should justly go to a Canadian.

  10. Tig Notaro!

  11. let’s see if i can do this image thing on my first try….

  12. The kid who plays Joffrey in Game of Thrones. He’s good at playing characters many people find annoying/openly hate.

  13. Scott Baiober

  14. #birdieforbieber

  15. Don’t know why anything remotely biographical just doesn’t just adopt the I’m Not There business model, that ended up pleasing everyone right?

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