Of course, OF COURSE, some police in Canada are seeking a man for stealing a single mouthful of ice cream. Like no duh that is one of the main issues going on in that country right now. I’m not making fun. Props to Canada. You guys are living teh dream. But also hahaha. Canadian criminals, step your game up. From the CBC:

Windsor Police are looking for a break-in suspect with a sweet tooth.

Police say a man broke into a Twistee Treat soft-serve ice cream kiosk in Windsor, Ont., earlier this month but left empty handed. No cash was stolen but security footage shows a man turning on the ice cream machine and dispensing soft ice cream directly into his mouth.

It is worth pointing out that Windsor is home to many of Canada’s largest casinos. So this is literally the Canadian version of Ocean’s 11. Which also means they will never catch this guy. He’s a ghost. He’s not just one step ahead, he’s three steps ahead, and two steps back. He is the cat, and he is here to steal. Check out the riveting security camera footage after the jump:

:The perfect crime for real. Canada, meet Kaizer Soze. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was filling his mouth with just a little bit of ice cream. And like that, poof. He’s gone.

Comments (23)
  1. Looks like somebody is going to be doing hard time for some soft-serve.

  2. What an Ice story

  3. Straight out of a Trailer Park Boys episode.

  4. Between this and the bbq chip thefts, I think something is seriously wrong in Canada.

  5. Eh, he was probably from Detroit.

  6. Our little Ice Cream Baby is all grown up!

  7. The most confusing part to me is why he would skip the opportunity to grab a sugar cone while he’s at it. Those things are a treasure.

  8. The Canadian police have a lactose intolerance to this type of behavior…

  9. He should be whipped for this crime. I’d say about five licks would do it.

  10. Hopefully some jail time will get him onto the long rocky road to recovery.

  11. More ice cream puns.

  12. Police are on the lookout for a man who *cannot* scream for ice cream.

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