lilybarneyjoke.jpg

Last night’s HIMYM began with a scene in which Barney, Marshall and Ted are telling a dirty joke when Lily walks up. After the other guys refuse to tell her the joke, claiming it’s “boy-funny,” Barney whispers it to Lily, and it’s so dirty that she walks off and “didn’t speak to us for four weeks.” It was just the next stunt in a series of gags in which the show jokes about, rather than hides, the pregnancies of their two female leads. (Lily was presumably not in the rest of the episode due to maternity leave.) ANYway, the setup for the joke was “What’s the difference between peanut butter and jam?” and Ted won’t say the punchline, but I found out what it was because I have access to a search engine!

Here’s the scene:

And here’s the punchline:

A: I can’t peanut butter my dick up your ass.

Oh come on, “To this day it’s still the dirtiest joke I’ve ever heard.”? Really? I heard a dirtier joke in the third grade. That joke is practically straight out of Highlights For Children, and makes me wonder whether CBS imposes censorship restrictions on content that must be Googled by the user to be comprehended. That would be so like a TV network, and so lame. Dear CBS interactive synergy department or whatever: please don’t make us Google in vain.

Comments (31)
  1. i don get it. i gots a joke. conans hair. who has hair liek that???/ it s stuped!!1

    • Damion  |   Posted on Apr 22nd, 2009 -2

      Wow, maybe you should learn to speak and write proper English before you go insulting anyone or anything, you ignoramus. It’s no surprise you didn’t understand the joke…I am surprised you know how to turn on a television…

    • How’s it a joke? It’s just a question. His hair is like that because he is going bald and is trying to cover it up. He is a public figure on TV 4 nights a week, vanity is important for the “face” of a company.

  2. Dave  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 +2

    Generally you also add “Three year old’s” in the place of “Your” – the punchline is “I can’t peanut butter my dick up a three year old’s ass.”

  3. haha this is brilliant because when jason segel was doing the “i love you man” panel, he said he tried to stick this joke in everywhere during that movie but they kept editing it out. I guess you finally got your day in the sun, segel.

  4. I don’t think it’s censorship. It’s just a tool writers use to make a joke seem extreme without having to come up with an extreme joke. Most times a show comes up with the dirtiest this or the funniest that or sweetest blahblah it’s never fully exposed.

    It’s all fish sticks.

  5. WHO  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 -1

    It must be admitted, however, that this was a fairly clever way to hide Hannigan’s pregnancy. Sort of. I guess. Actually, now that I think about it, it was pretty stupid.

  6. Have you heard the “What’s the difference between jam and jelly” joke? Same concept but has an easier punchline to deliver.

  7. that joke is so square that neither goofus nor gallant would take offense. and gallant is a grade A wet blanket.

  8. I dunno, I wouldn’t tell that joke to my mom, and I’m pretty sure that’s the standard to which CBS holds all of its sitcom jokes.

  9. matt  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 +1

    whatever the joke and punchline may be……do we all still laugh at the show? I think the answer is yes. if not why the hell ya still watching the show?

  10. me  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 0

    Did anyone else notice (or maybe i am a little late to this) that Robin appears to also be pregnant in real life?? last night all her shirts were “billowy” then the final shirt, the white looking one, she was totally sporting a baby bump!!! even had to rewind it and pause. anyone else notice this? are there any blogs reporting it?

  11. curtis  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 +1

    You’re right “me” Robin is pregnant…very pregnant. They didn’t do a great job hiding her baby belly, but at least they didn’t try to hide her behind furniture, boxes, or big plants.

  12. The correct punchline is “The Aristocrats.”

  13. Maybe Future Ted cleaned up the joke for his long, long story.

  14. Henssey  |   Posted on Apr 22nd, 2009 -1

    I must say, I speak spanish but that’s the heaviest joke that i’ve ever heard.
    It is rough for telling to a women, and obviously, is boys funny.
    And hell, I liked it…. I can’t peanut butter my….jaajajaja… is freaking good

  15. Victor  |   Posted on May 5th, 2009 -5

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  16. Dave  |   Posted on May 15th, 2009 -3

    I agree with above. To have bleeped out the whole joke, and given the punchline of “we call ourselves the Aristocrats!” would have been much better, considering that IS considered the dirtiest joke of all time, and Bob Saget’s rendition in the movie/documentary was the dirtiest of them all. I do think it was a clever way to write Lily out; I had a couple friends in college do a very similar thing because we were all too raunchy.

  17. Anonymous  |   Posted on Aug 31st, 2009 +1

    But Marlon Brando could…. so obviously the joke should be jelly not peanut butter.

  18. jamjellyjoke  |   Posted on Oct 6th, 2009 -3

    whats the difference between jam and jelly….

    you cant jelly your dick down a girls throat

  19. jamjellyjoke  |   Posted on Oct 6th, 2009 -3

    whats the difference between jam and jelly….

    you cant jelly your dick down a girls throat

  20. jamjellyjoke  |   Posted on Oct 6th, 2009 -3

    whats the difference between jam and jelly….

    you cant jelly your dick down a girls throat

  21. jamjellyjoke  |   Posted on Oct 6th, 2009 -3

    whats the difference between jam and jelly….

    you cant jelly your dick down a girls throat

  22. jamjellyjoke  |   Posted on Oct 6th, 2009 -3

    whats the difference between jam and jelly….

    you cant jelly your dick down a girls throat

  23. guys seriously i knoe its a hilarious joke but i dont get it y’all laughin coz y’all knoe its funny i really dont get it plz som1 explain

  24. Haha. I think it’s pretty funny. Especially coming from a comedy show like HIMYM. haha.
    Peter, http://koowie.com

  25. Well I don’t think you really needed to google to get the punchline. Seriously, it’s Barney telling the joke so you know he’s referencing his penis in some way. Combine that fact with the word jam and it’s just like putting two and two together! It’s a funny joke. Not the dirtiest. Also not very difficult to figure out on your own. You were very helpful concerning the info I was actually looking for though. I was interested in finding out if both girls were actually pregnant at the same time through production. I must say, as cool as that is the producers must have had a hell of a time pulling that off. My hats off to them. : )

  26. Honestly, it should be “I can’t pee nut-butter, but I can jam a dick up your ass”

  27. I’m a girl,but still,a good one

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