Photos
Merry Christmas from the Kardashians! It is, of course (OF COURSE) an annual tradition for the entire Kardashian family to gather on some soundstage somewhere and have their portrait taken like they’re in an advertisement for some black market perfume or maybe a new line of Target underwear. You know, LIKE HOW FAMILIES DO THINGS. I tried really hard to find a bigger version of this image so that you could click on it and enlarge it and then I was like, Oh my God, what am I doing with my life?! This is a great photo, though. You’ve got the girls, of course, and Scott Disick right up front, but don’t forget Rob, the socktrepreneur, and a cat…in…a…box? Yes, right, no, I know, Christmas, got it. My favorite thing about this card is that four of the family members were Photoshopped in after the fact due to scheduling conflicts. HAHAHAHHA TIS THE REASON 4 THA SEASON! What a bunch of fucking monsters. I know that God don’t make no junk, but sometimes it kind of seems like he made at least a little bit of junk. Merry Christmas, every-one.
Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. What a good present! (Image via KimKardashian.com.)
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Bruce Jenner looks like Glenn Close playing Albert Nobbs.
There has never been a more true statement than this.
…playing Benjamin Button.
making love to his OBGYN Rod Stewart
That’s hot!
They look like they’re all celebrating Madame Tussaud’s unveiling of the Scott Disick wax figure.
Kristmas is Kancelled.
Do you remember in Galaxy Quest the device called the Omega 13? If you used it, you could go back in time 13 seconds and undo a mistake? Sometimes I wish I could do that with my spider boners, because yours is better.
Activate the Omega Darko…
Never give up, never surrender!
Wait, that’s what christmas is??!? Forget it, I’m out.
Seriously though, it’s very disquieting that this photo is probably genuinely uplifting to a certain sect of ‘Merica.
I hope the card reads Merry Kristmas!
That baby is making the perfect face for this situation.
So how pissed is Rob that not even one of them is wearing socks?
Even he’s not wearing socks! What a missed opportunity to plug such a great product.
I don’t think you can see Rob’s feet. And that’s it. I have nothing funny to add. Boo this man (me).
I thought the sock designer was the guy sitting up front. Whoops! I don’t know which Kardashian is which.*
*I now realize that I have seen the guy up front before on some other show where someone who hates a certain celebrity go on a play date with said celebrity, so that the celebrity can try to show the person that they aren’t so bad. And that reminds me that he’s married to one of the Kardashians, so I guess – Whoops! I know too much about the Kardashians
But he is, curiously, holding headphones.
Well those balloons were a waste of money.
You know, it’s a sign of how bad their photoshop job is that the balloons are the most fake looking thing in that photo.
That baby and that cat have the same look of terror in their eyes.
(not-so-)fun fact: that cat actually died about a week ago. it was kim’s cat, Mercy, who i can only assumed was named after kanye’s recent song. but anyway. dead cat. merry christmas.
I like the cat, but it needs more pineapple hat.
that baby is even airbrushed.
Merry Photoshop from the Photoshops!
“One can even set up quite ridiculous cases. A cat is penned up in a chamber, surrounded by a bunch of assholes. Blah, blah blah, quantum mechanics.”
—Erwin Schrödinger
This is worse than the time I watched A Christmas Puppy and THERE WAS NEVER NOT A SINGLE PUPPY IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE.
STUPID DOUBLE NEGATIVES.
This is my family’s photo http://bln.gs/b/267tux
merry christmas pictures
i give up
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/131375337-Merry
THANK YOU!! THAT’S MY FAMILY
The world is ending on Friday and you’ll never have to see any of us ever again! CELEBRATE!
The cat was busy being a productive member of society, so she never crossed paths with the rest of the Kardashians. The champagne glasses were also digitally added later to create the illusion of consistency, fortunately Kris Jenner always holds her arm out like that
They did a great job on that hologram Mercy kitten! (R.I.P.)
Yeah, I know it’s a New Year’s themed photo, whatever. We went with that after that whole nativity photoshoot fell through. We were told it would have been blasphemous.
No, no, that kid made for a great baby Jesus. Because, you know, it’s a baby. That was easy. But having any of them pose as a virgin? Or as wise men? Forget it.
God made dirt, and dirt’ll bust your ass.–ODB
More like merry barfmas
What does it take to live the American Dream?
OJ Simpson’s Blood Money.
Blowing the Costar of UPN’s Primetime Smash hit Moesha.
Get these two things and a scarf from the Kardashian Kollection only at Sears and you’ll be kelebrating the perfect Amerikan Kristmas.
Kardashian through the snow…
nope!