I’m a huge Mark Wahlberg fan. That is well documented. I just think he’s a very charming and compelling actor who is just as good when he’s being casual and funny in a comedy as he is when he’s being uncasual and tough in an action movie. What? There is nothing gay about a guy appreciating another guy’s body of work and giving him thoughtful and sincere compliments. Grow up. But man oh man, sometimes when Mark Wahlberg talks in interviews it is like, AHHHHHHH! Mark! Shouldn’t you be on set reading the lines someone else wrote for you? Stop ad-libbing! For example, here he is talking about the upcoming Transformers reboot. From PerezHilton:

“I’m really excited about Transformers. Michael Bay and I just did Pain and Gain, and we had such a good time making it. He came to me and said, ‘I’m kind of doing a whole different reboot on Transformers. Are you interested?’ I said, ‘Yeah, I’ll do it!’ I loved the idea, and I think we can make something really cool and kick-ass. This is not something where it’s already established and I’m just in there to get a paycheck. I’m thinking this is the most important role of my career and I can do something really special. It’s the only time my kids have ever been interested in a movie I’m making.”

This is not something where it’s already established, it’s just a billion-dollar franchise based on a decades old property being directed by the same guy who directed all the other ones. It’s practically the first movie ever made in terms of innovation and creativity. Also who on Earth does a Transformers movie for something other than the paycheck? The TRANSFORMERS are doing it for a paycheck and they are MAKE BELIEVE TRUCK-ALIEN-TOASTER-OVEN-CARTOONS! Come on, man. PAH! I guess this IS the most important role of Mark Wahlberg’s career, though, since he was unable to stop 9/11 single-handedly and therefore life is meaningless. Role of a lifetime on that plane. “OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.” “The only lifetime achievement award I need was given to me by keeping America safe.” Woulda coulda shoulda. So this makes it: 1. Transformers. 2. Entourage cameo. 3. 100 way tie of everything else.

Comments (20)
  1. Dear Michael Bay:

    Recasting a new actor in the main role and keeping everything else the same does not make it a reboot. Fuck you.

  2. Marky Mark and the Funkybots

  3. WAIT WAIT WAIT. Slow down a minute. Transformers is getting a reboot????? Oh my god, I can’t wait! I loved that cartoon when I was a kid! And Michael Bay really knows action movies, oh man does he know action! I really can’t believe nobody, especially Michael Bay, hadn’t thought of doing a Transformers reboot earlier! You’d think there would have been at least 3 Transformers movies by now!

    I don’t know, you guys, I’m just really excited about this.

    • I really hope they make it edgy and make like half of the Transformers super racist! Like Ted but with robots!!!!!!!!

      • Or make it “dark” like the chris nolan bat-man franchise. “We’re all conflicted and shit in some morbid toned dreary talky bits because we’re deep.” Then the transformer-bots fight in a blurry jpeg sequence.

      • They could do without as much of a plot though. Too often Michael Bay’s movies get caught up in the multiple layers of the plot and I just get confused because it all moves too fast. The guy’s movies are just too complex and deep for most people.

  4. “This is not something where it’s already established and I’m just in there to get a paycheck.”

    He sounds like one of those dumb cartoon villains who accidentally explains their plan to the hero.

  5. I will go see this if Mark Wahlberg and John C. Reilly agree to reprise their roles in Boogie Nights and “You’ve Got The Touch” is the movie’s main theme.

    Actually, I’m going to go write a sketch based on that premise right now.

  6. Well he said this was the first time his kids are taking interest in one of his movies, so at least he’s a good father who doesn’t show his kids Entourage episodes or The Departed?

    • OR it means he has shown them Entourage episodes and The Departed and they didn’t take an interest, which means he is a bad father and his kids have bad taste in movies (but good taste in TV shows).

  7. Heard the new title is Transformers: I [Heart] Bumblebee

  8. I kind of agree. It is a step up from Antiques Roadshow.

  9. DO these casual “conversations” really happen in Hollywood? Hey wanna do a movie? Yeah I’m dying to work with you! DONE! Bye! See ya!

  10. I really would be happy if, for no good reason, Michael Bay just put in the Transformers reboot the same scene featuring Will Smith and Martin Lawrence from Bad Boys, and Lawrence stares in to the camera, clasps his cell phone shut, and says: SHIT JUST GOT REAL.


  11. Is he trolling us?

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