Of course I have to introduce this video of a spider dancing to the song “Cuban Pete” by saying that you should absolutely not, under any circumstances, watch this video. I’m sorry that I had to even describe it to you, as it is a complete nightmare. You can dress up a nightmare and set it to whatever song you want, and for a moment maybe you can fool someone into thinking the nightmare is nothing but a whimsical dream, but the hard truth is that underneath all of the sparkle and shine what you’re looking at is a legit nightmare, with a scary spider nightmare head, and a scary spider nightmare body, and a dance that is probably meant to lure humans into its nightmare web so the spider can slowly suck the life out of them and become part human itself. “Oh, what a charming spider,” the dumb-dumb human coos. “It reminds me of that charming dog — what was its name? Oh yes! Salsa Dog! Oh, what a charming dog that was, let me just get right…into…this web here…” And then it’s R.I.P. for that person. Now that we’re done with that warning, though, you may proceed to the video.

Pretty close to “Salsa Dog,” though, if we’re being honest. Stay out of the web FOR SURE, and let’s try to forget about this video as fast as we can, but it is pretty close to “Salsa Dog.” (Via Aborath.)

Comments (15)
  1. It’s kinda like Salsa Dog, only I don’t remember fainting from terror when I watched the Salsa Dog video.

  2. I’m not going to watch this right now – I’m at work and would have to watch with no sound, and that would mean I would just be watching a scary spider wiggle around, but not have fun music to try and balance out the nightmare.

  3. Oh, and the other day I saw a scary spider in my bathroom. When I went to smash it, I saw that there was a much smaller spider attacking the scary spider. The little spider wrapped a web around the big spider, and started to carry him to the back of the room.

    I was thankful that the little spider took out the scary spider, but now I was afraid of the little spider because holy shit, how did it just kill that big spider?!

    Now they both live in our vacuum bag because there was no way I was sticking my hand down there to squash them.

  4. Unsubscribe, cha-cha-cha.

  5. I had a nightmare last night that I was being eaten by a python, so in comparison this is actually kind of delightful. So long as it is in the internet. I may have an uneasy truce with the spiders but I make no promises of breaking the alliance in response to choreographed dance. That is unnerving.

  6. I put a house plant outside for the summer and since I brought it back in, I dust the spider webs off of it on a daily basis. I’m talkin’ webs that extend from the plant to the nearby chairs. I’m afraid of that plant.

  7. So despite all the warnings in this post AND the movie Arachnophobia, I watched this video anyway, without sound. But I don’t really see salsa dancing here. What I see is a drunk spider at a spider wedding dancing to “Shout” by himself.

  8. With great rhythm comes great responsibility.

  9. Can we talk about how The Mask is an insanely underrated movie? I love that movie SO MUCH. Jim Carrey is hilarious! Cameron Diaz’s first screen role! Euphemisms! 90s comic book movie! So good.

  10. I thought this spider was charming! Dance dance little spider!!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.