It seems like just yesterday when we all gathered together to talk about the dangers of wintertime in 2011/2012, but it was not yesterday. It was an entire year ago. An entire year of our lives has passed us by, and yet I don’t believe that we, as humans, have come any closer to understanding the danger that winter weather imposes on our lives. Do we still see ice and have the idea that running and sliding on it will be fun? Do we still go skiing, or snowboarding? Do we still go outside without our coats on because we’re just running to the store on the corner, but then it’s a lot colder than we anticipated but we’re already out the door so we might as well just keep going at this point? Do we still go on our roofs to shovel off the snow — which, in theory, is a GOOD idea for winter safety, as snow is heavy and could bring down any roof at any time — but then not think about how the snow is going to react? Apparently we do. And, you guys, it is NOT SAFE!

Please be careful out there in your winter wonderlands. I know this particular instance of winter danger looked fun because the man was laughing at the end and not crying, but remember: You would’ve been crying. You cry about everything, and this looked pretty scary! BE SAFE. THINK TWICE. DON’T BE DUMB ABOUT GETTING THE SNOW OFF OF YOUR ROOF. STAY OFF THE ICE.

Comments (12)
  1. Ice landing. I bet he didn’t feel very cool.

  2. As a Minnesotan, I am required by law (enacted by Jesse Ventura, obviously, right before he proposed legislation to conscript all adult Minnesotans to the Midwestern 125th Regiment against the Illuminati) to go frolicking outside at least once a winter. It sounds so fun, guys. Every year. Sledding! Skiiing! Tubing! Finding other ways to throw onesself down a snow covered hill! But omg IT IS TERRIBLE THERE IS NO WAY TO AVOID GETTING SNOW IN YOUR BOOTS AND THEN YOU HAVE COLD DAMP SWAMPFOOT AND DID YOU KNOW WINTER GETS COLD? Guys, guys, guys there is a coffee place two blocks away. I am going to waddle there in my eighty layers and have cocoa and pretend we never did this.

  3. One thing you can say about winter is that there aren’t any forest fires, so you won’t choke to death on smoke. Full disclosure, I live in the driest part of Canada, so this may not apply globally.

  4. There is predicted snow/sleet in the mountains I need to traverse to get to my parents’ house FOR THE NEXT WEEK. Literally every day for the next week. I’m so pissed.

    I’m not driving alone on mountain roads in sleet. Nope. So it is an actual possibility that Christmas will be cancelled for me. Or postponed.

    • You’ll be fine! I drove from Vermont to Colorado, and it snowed in every state on the way out. I only spun out of control once. (Actual ending of phone conversation with a friend: “Hey, guy, I gotta go, I’m spinning in a circle and going off the road.) Then, on the way back, it blizzarded over the mountains heading into Arizona, then except for Arizona and Texas, rained all the way back. It both rained and snowed in New Mexico. I didn’t drive off the road again until Ohio, when I drove into a ditch at 3 in the morning and tried to convince a cop to help me push it out instead of reporting it.

      So, really, drive into snow and sleet, always.

      • You are brave! I have such a fear of driving in the snow. It would stink to miss Christmas though. Maybe make a different plan just in case badideajeans? With other similarly situated snowed in Christmas orphans? And then go to the family after the roads are plowed.

        • I am not brave enough to do that. Yikes. The drive is daunting, even in perfect conditions. 10-12 hours of dramatic vistas and switchbacks is not my idea of fun.. at least not in winter and not after not driving much anymore. I get anxious in cars as it is.

          Kate, I have plans with friends that stay in town and hold a big brunch, but Christmas day is looking like the only day in the next week or so that isn’t predicted to have snow and sleet and might be my best hope. But (obviously) safety is way more important than an arbitrary day. And I think my parents just want to see their grandpuppy. They have already requested that he take a train down alone and that I just pin a little note on his collar.

          But the 5 is pretty famous for being terrifying in winter. I need to make friends with someone who has a private plane, probably John Travolta.

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