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A brief note on what happened today: there is no note on what happened today. There’s absolutely nothing to be said about it, especially not here. It’s unimaginable, and devastating, and it is the worst, and words have no power against it. Well, no, there is one thing to say: no more guns, thanks. That sounds like a facile argument, and that’s because it is. Facile means simple, and this is simple. No more. And that was just as true yesterday as it was today. That was true before Columbine, which was almost 15 years ago, and there was a whole movie about it and everything. And here is another thing (I guess there is something to say about all of this after all): everyone has work to do and a life they have no choice but to keep living. Does it feel stupid and obnoxious to post movie trailers in the midst of this kind of tragedy? Yes it does. But the worst part is that posting movie trailers or not posting movie trailers is the same thing, it just doesn’t matter either way. There is nothing that we can say or post that will ever help, and there are far smarter and more influential people to report and comment and legislate on this type of thing. The world continues to spin, and rent continues to be due on the first of the month. So I guess there were a couple of things to say in the end. On days like this it is always weird to run a pop culture website about trampoline farts and Courtney Stodden ATM receipts, but I will not use the word “hard” because we are constantly being reminded in the worst way possible what the word “hard” actually means. And I’m not going to say that our thoughts and prayers are with anyone because when we do that on this site it is always a joke about people doing that, and in this case there are no jokes. But obviously everyone is overwhelmed and saddened. It is too much. It really feels most of the time like it is too much.

After the jump, a blog post about Internet comments. Sometimes you just have to keep busy.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5  Jeb | Dec 10th Score:48

Jerry’s dentist starts manufacturing meth.

Posted in: Best New Party Game: @SeinfeldToday
#4  truckasaurus | Dec 12th Score:52

I don’t know, this incident on the Today show kinda proves that she’s smart and quick-thinking and not just some stupid fame whore.

Posted in: What The Fuck, Matt Lauer?
#3  KW | Dec 12th Score:57

I would be so creeped/grossed out if a guy tried to make a joke about how he’s seen my vagina. “haha! I saw your vagina! Even though you didn’t want me to! Hilarious!”

Posted in: What The Fuck, Matt Lauer?
#1  Jeb | Dec 12th Score:76

“So, Mrs. Lincoln, seen any good plays lately?” -Matt Fucking Lauer

Posted in: What The Fuck, Matt Lauer?

[Assoc. Ed. Note: please see above.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1  timmybear | Dec 12th Score:-21

I dunno about all this. Matt Lauer is the worst and all but Anne Hathaway is kind of full of so much shit. First of all, I saw the debate about whether or not it matters whether her defense was her own idea or her publicist’s. Honestly, it doesn’t matter except for the fact that people were lauding her for coming up with a response on the spot. So it doesn’t matter if it was her, her publicist, or a room full of monkeys smashing on typewriters. That was clearly planned and rehearsed long before Matt Lauer decided to open his mouth.

Second, it really annoys me when people who have done nude scenes (I’m pretty sure she has done at least 2) speak out against “commodifying” sex. You can call it art all you want (like the comedy/drama/romance Love and Other Drugs) but at the end of the day you are selling a movie with your boobies. Not to mention the fact that she was wearing an outfit in which “showing your vagina” is a major risk.

Third, comparing a famous and wealthy movie star (yourself) showing her vagina (your vagina), accidental or not, to a bunch of cameras with a character that is forced into prostitution by a combination of crippling poverty and a desire to provide her child with a better life is completely asinine.

Yeah it’s gross that people are waiting and hoping for a slip up like this so they can sell a picture of a famous woman’s privates. Bu everyone knows that is what’s happening. It’s not a secret that hasn’t been on the front of magazines over and over again. If Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Gwyneth Paltrow (I’m kind of just listing people who I think this has happened to but some of them may be incorrect) are idiots for doing this, Anne Hathaway does not get a pass because she made and eloquent, bullshit speech to a douchebag. She and Matt deserve each other.

Posted in: What The Fuck, Matt Lauer?

[Assoc. Ed. Note: please see above.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

  explainer guy tries again!! | Dec 11th Score:27

that tree is the only living thing in that picture.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Merry Christmas From Heidi Montag And Spencer Pratt

[Ed. Note: please see above.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice (Mary)

  gnidrah | Dec 11th Score:18

The Sweet Smell of Sock-cess

Posted in: Congratulations To Rob Kardashian On The Launch Of His Sock Line!!!!!!!!!

[Assoc. Ed. Note: please see above.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice (Kelly)

  glamazon | Dec 13th Score:12

We have a program at my work where kids can read out loud to a St. Bernard to practice their reading out loud skills. Half of the time, the dog is dozing off or waiting for a belly rub, but the kids love it, and it is so darn cute. When it was the dog’s birthday, she was wearing a giant birthday hat, and the kids all got to wear birthday hats too. The days she comes to visit are the highlights of the month!

Posted in: Sometimes Being A Parent Means Being A Jerk

[Assoc. Ed. Note: please see above.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

  solid | Dec 12th Score:4

Baberdab Caberbabs

Posted in: How To Get A Trademark Benedict Cumberbatch Stomach

[Ed. Note: please see above.]

Comments (41)
  1. Good week for comments on the internet. Bad week for real life.

    • The big work party was a lot of fun last night. So I was in a decent mood for the first couple hours today, until I heard the news. Now the day feels wrong.

      Fuck the second amendment. Cross it out like we crossed out the parts about slavery, and come take away all the guns. The end.

      • On days like this, I’m really glad we crossed out the part about banning alcohol.

      • I don’t understand why the conversation about gun control in the states is always about the Constitution giving people the rights to have guns, rather than whether or not that right makes sense or is reasonable or responsible in the 21st century. The Constitution isn’t written in stone, or it wouldn’t have any amendments (like this stupid one) at all! You can amend it again, just like with prohibition – they decided they didn’t like that one either! COME ON.

        • Also, back when the constitution was written guns could just barely kill one person. They generally backfired, were a pain to load, and stopped working when wet. That’s why they could line up in front of each other during a war and somehow people would survive. Guns nowadays can kill dozens in seconds (minutes?). Yeah, I’m not sure the Founding Fathers were thinking guns would ever get to this level.

          • Yes, and the reason people protected guns back then was to make sure they’d be armed in case they ever again had to wage a war against their own government. That plan is out the window today, because you can fill your cabin with all the guns there are and if it comes to a war, you’re not going to be a match for the government’s tanks, fighter jets, and drones. Not to mention IT WON’T COME TO A WAR. So the second amendment protects weapons that have exactly one purpose: killing dozens of kindergartners, fast. CROSS IT OUT.

          • THANK YOU all. The Second Amendment argument is the absolute fucking worst. If you haven’t read it, this Jill Lepore article does a fantastic job decimating it: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/04/23/120423fa_fact_lepore

    • I got rejected by the way… This whole thing has reminded me how little it matters though…

  2. When Jay Sherman exclaimed “BUY MY BOOK!”, he was talking about this one:
    http://www.mobfd.biz/2012/12/12/we-made-a-cook-book/

  3. /Users/philip5179/Desktop/IMG_0310.JPG

  4. My work christmas party is tonight. We are all trying not to be in a somber mood, but sheesh it’a hard not to.

    Everyone go hug somebody and tell them you love them (even if that somebody is a puppy)

  5. Here is a picture of the dog I mentioned wishing you all a Merry Christmas. (I hope this posts okay as I have never posted a picture in a comment.)

  6. I saving this picture that my local zoo posted on Facebook and I feel like this is a good time:

  7. I come to this site because I work from home and I need entertaining distractions while I build my sites. Since I left journalism and entertainment to be boring (and actually happy for the first time), it still allows me to have the kind of discourse on the things I care about (TV, puppies, media in general) with the kinds of people I would want to hang out with if I lived and worked in a more traditional environment.

    And while what Videogum does can seem trite on a day like today, having distractions like this are incredibly important for the healing process in general. And that this is an honestly wonderful community of people who, despite our petty disagreements, we manage to stay civil and respectful of each other… even when we’re bickering about minutia. On top of that, I consider many of you to be good friends of mine online and off, including those who do not post anymore or at least on a regular basis. My first in real life, not-college related friend on this town was someone I met through this very site.

    And when my scary incident happened yesterday, I was able to sort through what happened with incredibly kind and intelligent people. And when my town had its own assault massacre earlier this week, more people from Videogum reached out to make sure I was okay than members of my actual family (though I’m sure my mom immediately told them I was fine). Hell,when my childhood suburb had its massacre earlier this year… friends from this silly blog who knew where I grew up checked in to make sure my friends and possible family were okay.

    I know this is a site that likes to hate what it does sometimes (and honestly that might be why I like it so much), but it provides a lot of joy to a lot of people and I very much am one of them.

    Here is a photo of my dog in his new bow tie, which kind of makes him look like the kid in Problem Child. I bought it for him today because my friend and I needed to get out of the house and away from the news… and shopping for puppies helped take my mind off everything a little.

    • I want to hug you. Just looking at your dog makes me feel a little bit better. God those ears. And the eyes. I like the tie. Is it a human tie you put on his collar or do they sell special doggie bowties?

      • Thanks!! He’s asleep next to me right now, snoring away. It’s literally the most relaxing sound in the world.

        It’s a local homemade plaid tie with an little elastic band attachment that you use to thread the collar through, which may be why it looks a little crooked. They had starchy black and white bow ties with fake collars, but my childhood dog had a much better version of what I saw for formal occasions – holidays, parties, birthdays… Plus my little dude is generally pretty casual, so this was a better fit. (And if he’s invited to any black and white affairs, I now know where to get his outfit.)

        I also learned this store has dog parties on certain Thursday nights and they have dog photographers that take portraits. Plus they have snacks and wine… so all in all, it was very much money well-spent as puppy parties are literally the best parties. (Plus getting away from news and Internet and TV for a few hours is always good, but especially on a day like today.)

      • I just found a photo of him and me from about 10 ago, when he was actually a puppy, and I am chewing on his ears. It’s a pretty natural reaction, they are amazing and tasty. He also snuggles under the covers when it’s cold and lines up his toys in order when he is excited. He is, without question, the best.

    • I’ve been a longtime mostly lurker of videogum and was terribly excited all week that a one-off comment I made might make the MB. But today just made both my excitement over MB and my complaints about feeling shitty over tests and being lonely while studying seem trivial.
      What I mean to say is, I love you guys! I’m going to force loving hugs upon my cat until I can hug my nieces at Christmas.

    • This is why I really started commenting. The monsters seem like genuinely good people and they post pictures of dogs! Plus, I’ve seen this community come together to help and encourage each other and that just means a lot.

  8. I hope something amazing happens tomorrow because the events of this day are taking their toll on my heart and soul.

  9. Actually sites like this are just as important to me as “real” media outlets. The problem with “news” and the media is that they easily cross the line and become sensational, macabre, sadistic rubberneckers.

    After we process these tragedies and do what’s in our power to deal with them (hug our children, treat people more nicely), we do have to move on and sites like these become a necessary diversion.

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