Do you think that your parents aren’t going to film you doing one of the cutest things you’re ever going to do in your whole damn adorable life, even though it’s going to make you intensely embarrassed when you find out they’re doing it? (Your parents later uploading it onto the Internet, which is another thing entirely, does not get a pass from me, for the record.) Give me a break, kid. Maybe don’t fake-read a book to exclusively the NOSE of your dog, who is hiding under the bed, like a fucking angel send from Cute Heaven if you don’t want to be filmed. Get real. Welcome to Earth. Say “I love you” to your dad. (DailyPicks.)

Comments (12)
  1. This is actually horrifying if you imagine that the parent just walks around, haltingly and slowly, with a camera running, always, always, always.

  2. Being a parent means being a jerk a LOT. Every time Facetaquito asks me to play ball or read a book and I can’t do it at that exact moment, Cat’s In The Cradle starts running through my head.

    • “I’d like to see you if you don’t mind”
      He said, “I’d love to, Dad, if I can find the time
      You see my new job’s a hassle and I have to comment on Videogum.telepathic.com too
      But it’s sure nice face tweeting with you, Dad
      It’s been sure nice face tweeting you”

  3. Great door slam by someone so tiny.

  4. We have a program at my work where kids can read out loud to a St. Bernard to practice their reading out loud skills. Half of the time, the dog is dozing off or waiting for a belly rub, but the kids love it, and it is so darn cute. When it was the dog’s birthday, she was wearing a giant birthday hat, and the kids all got to wear birthday hats too. The days she comes to visit are the highlights of the month!

    • I read out loud to my cat all the time to practice my funny accents and reading in other languages. He is pretty indifferent to the whole thing.

      • When I first started reading stories at work, I tried reading them out loud to my dog for practice. Sometimes he was indifferent and just sat that, but a lot of the time he walked away. I am glad to say no children have walked out of my story times to this date.

  5. i’m on the kid’s side.

  6. This kid is whack. Soccer is NOTHING like volleyball.

  7. Dad: I love you, Parker.
    Parker: Cough cough.

    Dad, that’s how shade is thrown.

  8. Parker? I love you. I love you Parker. Parker. Parker? I love you. I love you Parker. Parker. Parker? I love you. I love you Parker. Parker. Parker? I love you. I love you Parker. Parker. Parker. Parker.

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