When I die bury me inside the Gucci store, yes, but when I’m born bury me wherever this is. Bad baby contest, you in first place! (Via Slacktory.)

Comments (27)
  1. If someone could photoshop the phrase “Livin’ The Dream!” into this…

  2. Ohhh, I left my kid at Blockbuster when I was in high school…. I wondered what happened to him. Great things, from the looks of it.

  3. “First human baby ever to be spawned from Dino DNA” – Science News

  4. More Sad!

  5. He is not even old enough to hold on to his butt!

  6. That is so many copies of Jurassic Park.

    Reminds me of when I used to work at a used CD store, and we had so many copies of R.E.M.’s Monster.

  7. This is just a big fuck you to third world babies.

  8. Note how some of the boxes near the top of the picture are from different editions of Jurassic Park on VHS. I think that somehow makes the whole image even more puzzling.

  9. All I can think about now is if I could do this with my kid. I’ll worry later about whether or not I should.

  10. One day this child will spend that money on an animatronic dinosaur to prank people on the street

  11. 450 copies of Jurassic Park on VHS: $555.87
    $1,000 in cash: $1,002.50 [from out of network ATM]
    baby: priceless

  12. “Why are those Jurassic Park boxes so weird and bulky-looking? Are they 8-tracks or something?” -Melvin the Millennial

    • “Obvious, hack joke premises such as ‘young people cannot possibly understand old stuff’??? I got ‘em!” -KajusX & Oxygen Tanks

      • I friggin’ hate that trope. How many movies have a “comical” scene where a kid doesn’t know what a record is or whatever? It’s never funny and it always just makes me think that you must be the dumbest person alive if you have absolutely no conception of anything that happened before you were born.

  13. God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs. Baby sleeps in cash.

  14. FROG DNA!!!!!!!!!

  15. This is what happens when you let the Magi drink.

  16. Is this Jeff Goldblum’s baby?

  17. You can’t blame the parents for wanting their daughter to grow up to be a clever girl. Whatever it takes, you know?

  18. QUIET! ALL OF YOU! They’re approaching the VHS paddock.

  19. That was me. Now I mostly complain about Jurassic park any chance I get. How can you get a full grown brontosaurus in just two years? How can you bring back extinct plants with dinosaur DNA (assuming you disregard DNA’s half-life)? How can a paleobotanist be a full fledged triceratops vet? I was born in the darkest pit now I must live with what I know for the rest of my life, or til I get dementia.

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