Kelly: Hey, Gabe!
Gabe: kelly, hey
Gabe: how’s it hanging, dude?
Kelly: It’s hanging like it always does, bro!
Kelly: How are you doing?
Gabe: oh fine thanks
Gabe: thank you so much for asking
Gabe: how are you?
Kelly: Oh I’m fine, too! A little sick, but mostly fine!
Kelly: Thank YOU for asking!
Gabe: get well soon
Kelly: Will do, maybe.
Gabe: you need to be in good health
Gabe: for your upcoming fight to the death
Gabe: on the new CW show
Gabe: The Hunger Games
Kelly: The Hunger Games is a series of movies
Kelly: Based on a YA fiction series
Kelly: You must be mistaken
Gabe: read it and weep
Gabe: you’re dead meat
Gabe: i like that the CW is also preparing
Gabe: a drama series
Gabe: based on The Hunger Games
Gabe: covering the spread
Kelly: That is good, I hadn’t actually read that part until now.
Kelly: You have to hedge your bets when you’re trying to rip off an intensely popular series
Gabe: about children slaughtering each other
Kelly: This reality show, though
Kelly: I’m not going to say that I WON’T watch it.
Kelly: Because the reality is
Kelly: That I will watch it
Kelly: Because it sounds great.
Kelly: Except for how it is teams of 2
Gabe: well hopefully each team
Gabe: falls in love
Gabe: OR ARE THEY JUST DOING IT FOR TEH CAMERAS TO GET MORE MEDICINE?!
Kelly: God a full month of trying to survive in the wilderness without food, water, or shelter
Kelly: what a shitty reality show to try to be on
Gabe: in 2003
Gabe: called survivor
Gabe: grow up, kelly
Kelly: Before my time
Gabe: change your diaper
Gabe: and join the conversation
Gabe: also: “what a shitty reality show to try to be on”
Gabe: is a pretty good description
Gabe: of every reality show
Kelly: That’s true, but at least in some of them you get to live in a house
Kelly: And DON’T have to kill animals in the woods so you can eat something.
Kelly: It doesn’t say the age of the contestants, I do hope they are Hunger Games age-level.
Gabe: i feel like
Gabe: you can either make a hunger games themed show
Gabe: with children where they just have to survive in the woods
Gabe: or if you feel weird about the kids thing you can use adults
Gabe: but then they DO have to kill each other
Kelly: I think that’s fair.
Gabe: i’m an american
Gabe: i deserve to be entertained
Kelly: And they’ve already taken Kid Nation from us.
Kelly: How much more are we expected to give???
Gabe: thanks a lot, Obama
Kelly: It’s funny that the Hunger Games reality show and drama series both have very similar names
Kelly: The Hunt and The Selection
Kelly: Not even trying for two seconds over there at the CW
Gabe: what is there to try?
Gabe: the children have spoken
Gabe: the future of television is here
Kelly: They probably didn’t expect that having their dream of a Hunger Games-style reality show come true
Kelly: Would mean that THEY would have to be the ones fighting for OUR entertainment
Gabe: they should have thought of that
Gabe: children never think of anything
Gabe: they are so stupid
Gabe: and that is why they must kill each other
Kelly: A cruel twist, but a fair and necessary one.
Kelly: Hopefully if there are any future generations of children they’ll understand not to go crazy about books in which kids kill each other
Kelly: Knowing the only next reasonable step for the adults in charge of the money-making machine will be to turn their obsession into reality
Gabe: yes, IF there are any future generations of children
Gabe: i feel like between The Hunger Games and the City of Men
Gabe: we might run out pretty soon
Gabe: but it’s going to be exciting to watch it happen
Gabe: LIVE on the CW
Gabe: tuesday nights at 8:30PM
Gabe: after Pasadena Heights
Kelly: A fitting end to the beautiful story that was Humanity.
Gabe: loved it
Gabe: 3 out of 5 stars
Gabe: cannot wait for the bonus features
Kelly: The blooper reel is going to be hilarious
Kelly: Such a fun cast.
Kelly: I have to say though that I don’t think I’m going to do very well on this show, Gabe.
Kelly: I wish you hadn’t signed me up for it, to be honest.
Gabe: oh god, yeah, no, you’re going to do terribly
Gabe: unless there was a gilmore girls episode about surviving in the woods
Gabe: you’re screwed
Kelly: No, there was one episode were Lorelei went fishing but that is literally the closest Gilmore Girls came to preparing me for this
Kelly: If only I could bring Luke along as my wilderness partner.
Kelly: He’d know what to do
Gabe: would he, kelly?
Kelly: He’d know exactly what to do.
Gabe: good luck out there, Yuckniss Evergross
Gabe: all of District Blog is rooting for you
Kelly: I VOLUNTEER AS TRIPUKE!