Whoa, remember these old friends?! Our pals! Back for the holidays! Just to put things in perspective, during the last presidential election, some people thought it mattered who these dumb dumbs were going to vote for. Can you even imagine? Just a few short years and talking about Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt feels like your grandparents complaining about how much gum costs these days. “When I was your age, Heidi and Spencer were condemned as witches, and we liked it that way.” Honestly, I don’t know where these two have been and I do not care. We have Courtney Stodden now, thank you very much, and she’s better (worse) than you ever were. Congratulations on finding a friend or relative with a camera nice enough to pretend like there is a paparazzo in the world who even gives a shit, though. Here’s what I want to know: HOW DOES THAT TREE FEEL ABOUT HAVING TO GO HOME WITH THEM?!

Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. Loser will be nicknamed Speidi. (Image via BuzzFeed.)

Comments (48)
  1. that tree is the only living thing in that picture.

  2. I wouldn’t mind being called Spidey.

  3. Heidi may not be helping all that much with the tree, but she’s got to carry those ornaments around every day.

  4. Needles and needless.

  5. If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there, do Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt still pose for a picture with it?

  6. One time I heard a story about a woman that bought a Christmas tree that had a snake in it, and when she put on the ornaments it bit her face. The point of this story is “what could have been.”

  7. “These guys are assholes.” -Tree

  8. I don’t have a caption for this because I don’t know who these people are. And yet, I’m kind of okay with that.

  9. they may be carrying the pine tree, but we are the saps.

  10. It’s beginning to look a lot like a photo op.

  11. I thought this WAS Courtney and got all excited to see that nice girl Kate Schmidt comment. But, alas, it was so much worse.

  12. Jingle Dumbbells

  13. “That’s the problem!” – Spencer (repeated call back joke on The Soup a million years ago)

  14. “You got what you wanted, you maniacs, now let my wife go for the love of god!!!” – Photographer

  15. Dear L.A. Monsters,

    You are cordially invited to a special day-drinking gathering this Sunday, December 16, at 2PM, at Big Bar in Los Feliz (the bar that shares space/ownership/everything with Alcove). We will meet there and have a drink, and depending on mood may relocate to my home, where we may continue to drink and maybe order pizza. There will be at least five of us, and I will be on time with my basset hound, so no one is left wondering whether people from the Internet are actually imaginary.

    Hope to see you all there!

  16. Ghosts of Christmas past

  17. All I want for Christmas is to forget who these people are again.

  18. I have literally nothing to say about these two, so I just made them look like Christmas Superheroes instead.

  19. Spencer: You said you’d help me with the tree, hon.

    Heidi: Okay. Fine. Just the tip.

  20. I guess you could say those two were really “pining” for this photo-op!

    …dear God why can’t I stop thinking in puns??

  21. No matter where you are in the room, her boob is always staring at you.

  22. Are those real?

  23. “HOW DO MY BOOBS LOOK? DO THEY LOOK GOOD!?” – the only thought to cross Heidi Montag’s mind for the past six years.

  24. do you guys think spencer has flesh-colored tree-flocking spray to match his gross flesh-colored beard?

  25. TREE: The kids are finally out of the house, and real humans are such a mess to take care of. So I just said Enough! Let’s get Plastic People this year.

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