I’m not going to lie to you: This is a news story that you are going to wish you did not watch, once you have watched it. That’s life. That’s basically every local news story. Either someone has died in a way that is profoundly depressing or someone has found something disgusting in what they were going to eat, or maybe someone is STILL unemployed and can you believe that they are still unemployed? Or there is a can drive going on for the holidays. It’s a sad world out there. You can’t just escape it by not watching a video that you totally 100% do not have to watch because it has very little to do with your own life, and you would have avoided it successfully if a video blog did not call it to your attention. YOU’RE STILL LIVING HERE! People are still buying breakfast burritos from McDonald’s. You’ll probably buy one at the airport someday. People are still going to have nose rings for whatever reason. Someday one of those nose rings is going to end up in your breakfast burrito. Each year 8 nose rings end up in your breakfast burrito from McDonald’s and you don’t even know it, probably. Snopes.com. Barf.com. Iamsosorry.com. Let’sgetthisoverwith.com.

One time a friend of mine ordered a burrito from a restaurant and it had a rock in it. That is, thankfully, the closest thing I have to a story about someone finding something disgusting in their fast food. (Which I’m sure only means that there are SO MANY STORIES I’VE MISSED?) Maybe we should all just stay in our homes? You can definitely find gross stuff in things you buy at the grocery store too, so maybe we should all just grow our own vegetables. I’m not sure what to do about drinking water. Wherever you get that from, it probably has something gross in it. Let’s just see how long we can survive on the vegetables alone. Deal? Perfect. BURRITO SURPRISE! (Via Gawker.)

Comments (49)
  1. And THAT’S why you never take your kid to McDonald’s!

  2. The grossest thing I ever found in my fast food was my fast food.

    • BUUUUT one time I got one of those salads in a bag from the grocery store and there was a giant earwig stuck to a crouton that I found at the very bottom of the bag, like as the very last piece of the salad that I would eat after having eaten the entire bag and probably 38 unnoticed earwigs. I was not going to cause a stink, but my friend dragged me back to the store and made such a ruckus that they gave us 20$ as compensation even though the salad was like 5$. And bugs aren’t even really bad for you. So really, I got some extra protein in my diet, ate a pseudo-delicious salad, and made 15$. AND there was at least one less earwig in the world, which is always a plus.

      • Earwigs are gross. I am generally not grossed out by bugs, but yeeeeesh (also, re: house centipedes). I commend you for remaining so calm.

      • Anybody else have problems with whipping cream? It doesn’t matter what store I go to, if I buy whipping cream, there’s about a 50% chance that it’s gone bad, even if it’s before the expiration date. It’s pretty fucking ridiculous.

      • I have been a lurker since about 6 months after videogum started as well as a daily reader, and while I’ve always thought about maybe signing up for an account I never actually decided to take the plunge until I saw this comment, old man fatima, because I just had to upvote it.

        When I was about 9ish my family went to the cheesecake factory for dinner, and about 3/4 into my Thai lettuce wraps I found a moth perfectly preserved and stuck onto one of the leaves. It was completely whole and not even squished, just as if it had been mounted for display. My parents saw it and went “if we tell the server the restaurant is going to make a whole big deal out of it and send the manager over and be really annoying, so either eat the rest of it or drink your water until we’re done.” I swear that directive changed my life, because I’d probably have to find a human body part in my food before I would consider not eating it (and maybe not even then, if it’s a cooked meat dish).

        Also, two weeks ago as I was making rice and noticed that there was a lot more off-colored rice in the jar than I remembered, and actively made the decision not to care or take a closer look. A week later as I was exploring the pantry and realized that the rice canister was full of petrified maggots (although how they got into a sealed glass canister I will never know). I threw out the dry rice…but kept eating the leftover rice in the fridge until it was gone…and only told my boyfriend after we’d finished the rest of it.

        (Weirdest first comment ever? No?)

  3. Burrito jewelry is so retro!

  4. Gotta be honest, if it was me, and it had been a McGriddle instead, I probably would have kept eating anyway. Fuckin’ McGriddles, you guys.

  5. Yesterday I ordered a taco from a nice place and there was egg in it. I get it lady, I really do.

    • And last week I ordered a spinach and tomato pizza and I got sausage instead, which was also really really REALLY gross. (And possibly one of the highlights in my dog’s life.)

  6. There are worse things “burrito surprise” could mean, but “taco surprise” is usually pretty nice. If you don’t believe me, come to the Monster meetup in Chicago next April. Wiiiiiink.

  7. Great Christmas gift idea, courtesy of Barneys New York:

    http://s7d9.scene7.com/is/image/Barneys/502259695?$grid_square$

    It’s a $595 Givenchy nose ring, guys. Even GOOP would be like, “No, that costs too much for nose jewelry.”

  8. Damn it. Well, this image is better anyway:

  9. I went to a Perkins with some friends once, and my malt had the cellophane wrapper from a pack of cigarettes in it. Then the waiter tried to wrestle my friend as apparently pointing that out was a slight against his honor? He also didn’t get why no one at the table wanted that malt. Or why we wouldn’t make eye contact.

  10. The rock was most likely due to a bean sorting machine that sifts based on weight. The beans are sorted and bagged without much human interaction. I foud a rock in my bean and cheese burrito once too. This is the weird stuff you only learn after managing food services for a long time.

  11. I am perpetually suspicious of decorative lettuce leafs after finding one with a caterpillar curled up for a snooze inside it on my plate.

  12. if this is headline send-out-the-live-from-the-scene-crew news. it must’ve been a pretty great day in Atlanta.

  13. I found a post-it note in a pizza once. Baked right in under the cheese. I maintain that that was intentional, as it was bright purple and how the fuck do you miss that?

  14. Mr. Dork found a half-cooked chicken mcnugget in his order once. It really didn’t put him off McD’s though.

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