wyvrk55w_fm.jpg

It’s a commonly held truism that if you can imagine a sexual fetish, there is some kind of pornographic outlet for that fetish. Like women who dress up as side characters from the short-lived Jim Henson TV show Dinosaurs? You’re going to love Not The Mama! Sluts! magazine. And cetra. But the same is obviously true at this point about ANY fetish and YouTube. Yesterday, of course, we all discovered (and barfed) Femskins, together, like a family. But the trend extends beyond the sexual…or maybe not beyond so much as to the side of sexual. Or behind sexual? The point is there is this dude with long, glorious golden hair, like a PRINCESS, or an ELF LORD, who posts videos of himself on YouTube showing off his “accomplishment” in a garden of COMPLETE SILENCE (via Dlisted, BuzzFeed) and it makes you remember that it’s a really big world out there, and lots of people are into lots of things, and it is scary. (Congratulations, you just got your master’s degree in We Already Knew That from the University of Duh.)

After the jump, so many videos of this magical dude.

Braided.

Brushing.

In a Bun.

“Showing Off.”

Of course, he’s not JUST into having long hair, but that’s the only thing he’s willing to be publicly interested in? Says his YouTube page:

This page is devoted to long hair. I belong to the rare species of guys who like to grow their hair really long. I have many other interests but you won’t find anything about them here…

It’s true! I looked all over his page and couldn’t find anything about any of his other interests. There was a whole lot about his interest in his hair, though. And hair in general. His “favorites” page is a who’s-who in the long hair YouTube community. BIG UPS, BARTEK BOROWIEC! Good thing he separates his hair life from his private life, though. You wouldn’t want anyone to think you are a weirdo.

SIDE NOTE: I’m reminded of Kanye West’s landmark anthropological study of combs, written yesterday in a post about combs that look like knives:

Combs have been on the scene ever since humans had hair on his head. which is quite sometime? the date perhaps goes beyond the time of the old stone age. man being man and not a lion would not be content to let his mane run wild and free. so he had to find some ways to tame it. first on the list of combing operations must have been the use of fingers. so in a way the fingers are the first combs of history. today, combs are universal and no corner of the globe is without it.

Smart. So we’re going to need one Pulitzer for Kanye West, and one WTFzer for long hair YouTube guy and one adult for me, because I need an adult. That’ll do it.

Tags:  
Comments (24)
  1. You know what….I don’t believe him. I don’t believe that he has other interests. How could he afford any other hobbies with the huge amount he’s got to be spending on conditioner.

  2. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  3. Thank god his videos are in HD. Nothing like getting creeped-the-fuck-out in high definition.

  4. Am I supposed to be “confused” (ie: sexually) after watching that? Because I am.

  5. booacaust  |   Posted on Apr 7th, 2009 +8

    I’m going to ignore the creepy hair and just say that’s a really pretty/magical-looking garden and I want to go to there. But not with the creepy hair guy.

  6. Hold all my calls. I’ll be masturbating furiously to these all afternoon.

  7. the hair brushing video is literally BEGGING to be put in slow motion and set to hilarious music, videogum. some suggestions:
    (1) the benny hill theme song
    (2) the erik satie song from my dinner with andre
    (3) B.I.G. – ‘juicy.’

  8. Oh my god… it’s beautiful, as my nightmares.

  9. To his credit, he realized the bun didn’t play as well and kept it to a quick but majestic 30 seconds.

  10. Viral marketing for Pantene or Herbal Essences?

    Please?

  11. hiho  |   Posted on Apr 7th, 2009 +2

    Hey, that Bartek Borowiec guy is all kinds of dreamy! Ladies, seriously, back me up. Men, too, I guess.

  12. hiho  |   Posted on Apr 7th, 2009 +5

    and i’m pretty sure with regards to the Femskins video that THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE VIDEOGUM!

  13. What up girl!

  14. … but does the carpet match the drapes?

  15. Can’t he at least do the stripper hair-helicopter thing?

  16. After the Femskins this guy seems downright quaint. I think I’ll ask him to babysit my son.

  17. Are these outtakes from Shine On Me?

    and yes… I will sneak that reference in every chance I get.

  18. I never thought I’d be a Youtube star!!

  19. OMFG ! someone is getting a Topsy Tail for their birthday…..

  20. There is no way this guy doesn’t have a green clarinet, red tuba or any other colored magical instrument.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.